Last night was the Miss USA pageant.
I missed it trying to fly back from New York City thanks to our three hour delay in LaGuardia, but tons of you were Tweeting me throughout the night about the pageant. I appreciate that because ordinarily I love watching pageants. In particular, I love watching pageant contestants answer questions.
It’s my favorite part of the competition by far.
When I landed in Nashville y’all deluged me with Tweets about Miss Utah’s answer to a question about how to ensure that women received equal pay for equal work.
It’s not exactly the most difficult question that has ever been asked. Sometimes these beauty pageant queens get asked controversial questions with no right answer. For instance, in 2009 Miss California was asked about same-sex marriage. Whatever you say to that question you’re going to upset half the audience.
Yeah, good luck with that.
But this wasn’t one of those questions.
All Miss Utah, Marissa Powell, needed to say was that women should receive equal pay for equal work and that she found it unfair that they didn’t.
Pretty simple, right?
But she couldn’t pull that off.
Well, this glorious trainwreck of an answer happened.
My goodness this is outstandingly awkward.
But we need the transcript to fully embrace the awkwardness.
“I think we can re, relate this back to education and how we are..” desperate hand gesture accompanied by furrowed brow…”continuing to try to strive to”….complete and total blank, followed by winning smile — to be fair to Miss Utah this has probably gotten her through 99.9% of all issues she has ever faced in her life — “figure out how to create jobs right now.” Renewed burst of confidence. “That is the biggest problem right now and I think especially for men are, umm, seem as the leaders of this so we need to try to figure out how to create education better. So that we can solve this problem. Thank you.”
That entire slow moving trainwreck of an answer took just thirty seconds.
Two actual sentences.
Is it worse than Miss Teen South Carolina’s pageant question demise in 2007?
Y’all can judge.
Okay, nothing will ever top this.
But if you wanted to argue that Miss Utah is worse you probably have to focus on the age here. Miss Utah is older so this is probably a bigger goof if you factor in age and life experience.
In happier times — heretofore known as — before she began to talk — here was Miss Utah in a bikini.
Of course, Miss Utah could have answered with one sentence instead of two and told us what she was truly thinking when she heard this question, “I have abs and big boobs, equal pay really isn’t an issue for me because I’ll never actually need a job. Thank you.”
Instead, that video clip above which every single one of y’all has already watched three times.
I just hope we can fulfill her dreams and create education better.