Middle School Under Fire For ‘Sexualized’ Glass-Licking Game With Kids

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In today’s edition of ‘These are the people who teach your kids,’ one middle school out in Washington State (weird!) is under fire for hosting a glass-licking competition between teachers and students.

Sounds weird, I know, but pretty harmless, right? Wrong!

Roll tape.

Parents not happy with ‘sexualized’ game in Washington Middle School

Yes, I know it says Utah, but trust me — this is Washington State.

Anyway, this happened late last month, but went viral this week for obvious reasons. I don’t know if heads have rolled yet, but the backlash is picking up more steam than the Bud Light boycott, so I assume the axe is coming here pretty soon.

Let’s start here — what the hell are we doing here? Seriously. What is this? Why? Who green-lit this? I NEED to be in that room where the staff discusses this and everyone is like, ‘Yes, that’s a great idea. That’s a winner.’

Hey guys — spring break is coming up, thought we should do something fun for the kids before sending them off.

Sure, what are you thinking?

I’m thinking we set up a piece of glass in the gym, spray both sides with marshmallow crème — Fluffernutter, if you will — and have grown adults sexually like one side of it, while tweens lick the other side at the same time while staring in each other’s eyes.

Love it! That’s outside the box thinking, baby! Let’s roll.

And, right on cue, that video quickly went viral and the parents quickly raised hell.

Megan Sa, the mother whose daughter sent her the video, told Fox News Digital that she originally emailed the superintendent, the school board and the human resources department asking for an explanation regarding what happened to see how they would be addressing the situation. 

She also said she was “most” alarmed by the final scene where the security guard “looked like he was licking the marshmallow off of the plexiglass in a sensual way.”

“In my opinion, we do not send our children to school to be exposed to highly sexualized behavior by adults,” she continued. “We send them to school to learn and for them to socialize with other people their ages.”

How about this 'vile' glass-licking game from one middle school in Washington?

Fair point. Weird concept, I know, but probably would’ve been the safer route to go here out in Washington. Oh well — they took the ‘glass-licking competition between students and teachers’ route.

Not the one I would’ve chosen, but that’s also why I live in Florida.

I promise you this doesn’t happen down here, and if it did my guess is a certain governor would lay down the hammer so fast your heads would spin.

And how about this for a curveball from Sa?

“It was my understanding that these students were putting their names on a list to say, ‘Yeah, I want to participate in a game at the assembly,’ but the teachers and the administrators did not tell them what kind of game that they would be participating in,” she said. 

“If this is such a harmless and not an ill-intended game, then why the hell did you not share with the students what the game was going to be and the ground rules?”

Again, another valid point here.

Oh, well. I guess you live and learn? Hell, in today’s world that sort of behavior probably gets you a raise, especially on that side of the country.

Homeschool your kids, folks.

Written by Zach Dean

Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.

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