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What I accomplished in April

It happened early Saturday morning on the shores of Lake Erie at the Maumee Bay State Park golf course, a links-style course with water in play on approximately 12 of 18 holes.

I had two birdie putts on Par 3s lip out. Legit lip-outs, not scalding putts that lipped the edge of the cup. I’m talking lip-outs that left me 4-inch tap-ins.

Now, you’re probably laughing at such an accomplishment, but for me on a legitimate course with wind whipping from all directions and with yardages requiring longer irons, to even have birdie putts is a big deal and to even get a putt within lip-out range is a major accomplishment.

Even with multiple blowup holes (more blind water shots than I was expecting) on a wet day with little to no fairway roll and winds going nuts, I still broke 100. That’s counting everything. That’s playing balls out of ridiculous lies. That’s with four pars.

I’ll take it.

I think the key to my golf game improving this spring is that we’re playing so early in the morning that drinking beers is absolutely ridiculous. And I started using my trusty 6 iron around the green to pitch. Both have been incredible for my golf game. No more duffed wedges!

Special mentions:

• Sent out somewhere around 500 TNML stickers…yes, there are more to go

• Went out Saturday and pulled the trigger on purchasing 3/4 ton of flagstone to hopefully finish a pathway next to one of our garden beds that has needed our attention for years.

• Began my 10U house ball coaching career…Opening Day is Saturday

Flower price inflation?

Have you guys gone out and purchased annuals yet? Perhaps it was just the one garden center where we went, but it sure felt like inflation has hit the flower market in a big way.

I will say this about our flagstone purchase…it’s much cheaper than buying concrete.

These posts are starting to pop up on a daily basis which should tell you what’s coming from politicians…they’ll eventually come for that mower

Let’s check in with Axios to see the narrative they’re pushing heading into May.

Here we go again –– you’re a Bad American if you take care of your property, keep it mowed, keep it maintained, and well-taken care of. You’re the enemy to these maniacs and they won’t stop until they rip out your gas stove, your gas water heater, your gas-powered furnace, your gas-powered mower, your lawn and your use of water in your yard that you worked your ass off to buy.

Am I missing anything?

Are gas grills on the chopping block? I’ve lost track.

I sat there watching “60 Minutes” late last night when a segment on CO2 removal from the air was a topic of discussion. There are companies in Iceland or Greenland that are taking C02 out of the air and sending it a mile down into the Earth’s core. They’re spending billions on this.

I’m left wondering how they’re making money. Or is this all on taxpayers? And what are these companies doing to stop the Indians and Chinese from burning fossil fuels? Those questions were not asked by “60 Minutes.”

I think it should be a prerequisite for news outlets to request photos of the lawns belonging to these people who are lecturing all of us on how we’re killing the ozone layer. I want to see yards, I want to see their cars, I want to know if they have gas stoves, I want to know if they use plastic — EVER.

Put up or shut up.

Do you remember back when the environmentalists used to drive diesel Volkswagons? I want these scumbags issuing multiple public apologies for being scumbags back in the 1990s-2010s. Pay up, scumbags.

You want more ‘No Mow May’ propaganda? Here we go:

There are tens of thousands of conservatives reading Screencaps and I can promise you tens of thousands of them have wildflower zones. You think the heavily populated lefties in the South Bronx care about wildflower zones?


• Ron D. writes:

Wasn’t George Costanza way ahead of the game on this? Loved the Sheena Easton song when he went upstairs!!

Do Hard Things With Mike T. & his family

• Mike T. writes:

Remember several weeks ago, we helped one of our daughters outside Seattle and her husband revamp their backyard after an extension on their home.

We rented a dingo, moved 14 yards of material from the new patio sight to the upper part of their yard, which we plan on making into a grass yard area( TNML).

Last weekend, the son-in-law moved the pavers an blocks for the retaining wall to the back yard. All 9 pallets of material by wheelbarrow, by hand.

We then rotor tilled the 1500 sq. Ft. Lawn area.

Than we raked the rocks, hundreds of rocks. Note those mowing shoes, time for a new pair!

Whilst we we putting in the lawn, son in law laid the pavers, by hand himself. Each paver weighed 90 lbs.

After team sign off on the new yard, we spread 3 yards of top soil over the new lawn area.

Rake, scored , then add the grass seed. Than roll the yard several times.

Peat moss cover, add fertilizer and water, hopefully in a couple months, a beautiful green lawn!

The new patio after the weekends work!

Do hard things, it’s rewarding and fun!

Toro…this is so unlike you

• Zach L. writes:

So, I got rid of my 20-inch Honda push mower last year. . started every year for 10 years.  Never drained the gas, changed oil like twice.  Ran like a champ every year.  I live at 5030 ft altitude in Colorado.  Did I say it ran like a champ every year?  It did until I broke a blade.  Clearly operator error with a stone retainer wall corner. . .anyway, now to the ALERT!

Replaced it late fall last year with a “Guaranteed to Start” Toro GTS 150 cc 22 inch. Self propelled gas mower.  Used it like 7-8 times.  Aggressive with the self-propelled function, but you don’t have to use it.  Went to start it this last week, nothing.  Drained fuel.  Replaced fuel.  Nothing.  Cleaned air filter, changed oil.  Nothing.  Added octane boost.  Nothing.   Emptied fuel again and pulled off gas tank after reading dozens of negative reviews of how the this Guaranteed to start mower doesn’t start.  It has a fuel filter at the bottom of the tank, a tiny micro mesh filter.  Pulled it off.  Rebuilt mower, pulled chain. . . and it started. 

For like 10 seconds and then died.  Putting it out on the curb.  Buying another Honda.  Just wanted to pass along the information to all the hard working TNML folks out there.  Z.

Toro is dead to me.

Screencaps book club

• Jacob B. writes:

Longtime reader, first time caller to screencaps.. A while back there was a series of posts related to books and reading suggestions from your audience. I believe at one point there was a list of books that one reader put together? I was curious if you had this and could share that list? 

I have several international flights in the upcoming week and would prefer to find something enlightening to read versus watching some generic Tom Hanks movie. 

Keep up the good work with the column. The community you have built is a beacon of positivity in a world searching of pessimism. 


I’ll look for the email with the book list. In the meantime, if you have it, send it my way so I can forward it to Jacob.

Best motorcycle ride in the United States

• Jeff B. writes:

I’m biased, of course, but I’d have to say the Million Dollar Highway in Colorado, from Ouray to Durango, in the summer.

I mean, c’mon, man.  

• Chris B. in Florida writes:

Hi, Joe — I’m not a biker, but we stayed at a cabin here for one of the hurricanes before we bought our Carolina place. Here are two that are an adventure in a car, much less a bike:

That’s it this morning. We’re supposed to see snowflakes here on May 1. Disgusting. But there’s sun on the horizon. Without fail, our weather will have one final shitty performance and then spring starts for four weeks before it turns to summer.

Go have an incredible week at work.


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Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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