Suzanne Somers, 74, Claims She Has Sex Three Times Before Noon

Suzanne Somers, 74, now claims she and longtime husband Alan Hamel, 84, have sex three times a day--BEFORE NOON. We have always known that sex drives go through the roof with age, but still. These two are old enough for senior discounts.

That's a lot of Cialis.

The Three's Company star joined Heather Dubrow's podcast to discuss her outrageous sex life:

"At this stage of life, most people think that’s, you know, over the hill, too much information,” Somers said. "But what time is it, like noon? I’ve had sex with him three times so far today. What is it about 4:30 in the morning that suddenly, there he is? I’m going, ‘Could you just wait until the sun comes up?’”

Somers and Hamel have been married since 1977, which is a lot longer than most couples last in this day and age. But she claims they're still having fun like newlyweds.

"God, our relationship has always been amazing,” she added. “But now that our kids are raised and it’s just me and Al, and we paid for the tuition, we paid for the weddings and helped them get their start – now it’s just us. Man, are we having fun.”

Good for her

I want to congratulate anyone who can stand the sight of their significant other after this pandemic and after nearly 50 years of marriage. By that time, most men just want to be on a golf course somewhere. Rather than piping down a wife, most guys would probably rather pipe drives 185 down the fairway.

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Gary Sheffield Jr is the son of should-be MLB Hall of Famer, Gary Sheffield. He covers basketball and baseball for, chats with the Purple and Gold faithful on LakersNation, and shitposts on Twitter. You can follow him at GarySheffieldJr