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A big ol’ Russian McDonald’s superfan went McNuts over the weekend and chained himself to the door of the burger chain’s Moscow location, according to media reports and video of the incident shared on social media.
Luka Safronov, the tubby McNugget superfan, staged his protest just hours before McDonald’s closed its Russian operations due to President Vladimir Putin’s invasion in Ukraine. 850 branches of McDonald’s were scheduled to be closed across Russia on Monday.
“Closing down is an act of hostility against me and my fellow citizens!” Safronov was heard yelling before the Russian police, who were not McLovin’ this act of defiance, hauled his massive ass off to who knows where.
“They have no right to close,” Luka added as police worked to free him from the door.
A man in Russia today, pianist Nikas Safronov, chains himself to a McDonald’s and screams, “They don’t have the right to close down!” before he’s carted off by the police. Someone in the crowd yells back, “In six weeks, they’ll reopen under another name!” pic.twitter.com/FhAwronpiS
— Kevin Rothrock (@KevinRothrock) March 13, 2022
If Luka is able to get out of prison, or survive prison, for his behavior, there’s even more bad news for the fast-food connoisseur. Coca-Cola has canceled supplies that were supposed to be sent to Russia. According to The Mirror, a glass of Coke is now over $10 in the rogue nation.
Luka Safronov, son of the artist Nikas Safronov, handcuffed himself to the entrance of McDonald's. pic.twitter.com/WKjmPL9pgc
— NEXTA (@nexta_tv) March 13, 2022
Let’s say Luka does manage to get out of a Russian prison in the next couple of weeks, there is hope for the McSuperfan. There’s a black market for McDonald’s burgers as many people have filled their freezers with Big Macs that are now reportedly selling for $300 to desperate Russians who are starting to feel the effects of Putin’s decision.
In America, a male athlete can choose to be a female athlete. In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. (h/t Yakov Smirnoff)
Now see at least this slob gets it. He protests McDonald’s closing down at an actual McDonald’s. Nfl players protest “police brutality “ by protesting the national anthem at football games.
I’ll bet that guy craps out turds bigger than small children
Every bit of this article is gold.
Those cops are lucky it wasn’t McRib season. The lost Wachowski brother would have lost his shit