Man Rides A Shark, Whistleblower Confirms Aliens Found, Reporter Stiff Arms, Drunk Women On Planes & Florida Man Thinks Inside The Box

Look, I'm just going to come right out and say it: I do not care about golf.

Like, try to imagine the thing you care least about in the world and then care even less than that. Those are my feeling toward the world's slowest sport.

So you can imagine my excitement when I opened my laptop this morning to discover every person on the planet was talking about the LIV merger with the PGA.

Truthfully, until today, I wasn't even fully sure what LIV was.

I know, I know. I write for a sports website. But we all have our specialties here.

That said, after this seemingly gigantic news broke today, I figured I ought to at least have some familiarity with what's happening.

So in classic Michael Scott fashion, I looked for someone who could "explain it to me like I'm 5."

And wouldn't you know it: Front Office Sports came through.

After realizing PGA is Dunder Mifflin and LIV is the Michael Scott Paper Company, I actually have a firm grasp on the situation now.

I'll tell you what I've always known about golf though: It's a drinking sport.

In fact, the only time I've ever spent on the links was riding around making mimosas in the back of a golf cart.

And that actually sounds really great right about now.

If you think you're too manly for champagne, no you're not. So log out of your work email, pop the bubbly and let's dive into some Nightcaps!

Man Rides Shark Like a Cowboy

And yes, of course this happened in Florida.

A bunch of animal rights folks are mad after some guys in Panama City Beach pulled a shark out of the water and proceeded to sit on top of him.

Onlookers cheered as one man rode him like a cowboy on a horse.

Another guy went — um — reverse cowboy.

This looks like that Hunter Biden laptop photo that went viral a while back. You know exactly which one I'm talking about.

(Facebook: Tammy Scott)

I'll admit, when I first watched the video, I got kind of mad, too. Why are we pulling this poor creature out of the water? He's thrashing about, fighting for his life and people are cheering?

It reminded me of the time a baby dolphin died because all those stupid tourists pulled it out of the water for selfies.

Upon further review, though, it actually turns out the shark was caught in a fishing line.

According to AL.com, the guys unhooked the animal and set him free.

In other news, there's a 6-foot shark lurking around the shore at Panama City Beach, so maybe be careful if you're taking a swim.

Stanley Cup Final Reporter Stiff Arms Fan

Don't mess with Samantha Rivera.

When an annoying fan tried to photo bomb (or is it "video bomb"?) the CBS Miami reporter's live shot at the Stanley Cup Final, she pushed back.

Literally.

Here's Samantha giving this dude the ol' Derrick Henry stiff arm.

"Listen, I don't give a damn what team you're rooting for — get the hell out of my face when I'm working and respect that I'm here to do my job," Rivera tweeted.

Respect, Samantha.

By the way, if you've ever thought about interrupting someone's live shot or being one of those obnoxious fans jumping and waving in the background during a broadcast, please consider, alternatively, not doing that.

I promise you not one person watching at home has ever seen someone acting like that and thought, "Wow, that guy's cool!"

We Found Aliens!

Allegedly.

An Air Force veteran named David Grusch claims the United States has been hiding a craft of "non-human origin" for at least several decades.

And in an interview with NewsNation, Grusch said we haven't only found spaceships. We've found dead aliens, too!

"Well, naturally, when you recover something that's either landed or crashed," he said. "Sometimes you encounter dead pilots and believe it or not, as fantastical as that sounds, it's true."

This guy just said we have actual aliens here and all you dorks want to talk about is golf.

Call me crazy, but I believe him.

I've recently gone down a rabbit hole of ancient civilizations and the seemingly impossible structures they somehow built with only primitive tools. I'm also fascinated by the "lost photos" of Captain Scott's Terra Nova Expedition to Antarctica.

Sure, "fact checkers" will say they were debunked. But what if it's all a big cover up?!

Anyway, I've fully convinced myself aliens came to Earth a long time ago. And yes, I'm fully aware I look like this dude right now.

But speaking of, I watched the movie "65" over the weekend.

No spoilers, but it's about exactly what I was just talking about — aliens crash landing on Earth 65 million years ago during the time of the dinosaurs.

The movie is lackluster at best, which bummed me out because I loved the premise.

Call me a loony toon if you want.

But our planet is about 4.5 billion years old. If you're telling me extra terrestrials are just now finding us, I think you're the crazy one.

Everyone is drunk on Southwest Airlines.

Shoo, all this alien talk. I think it's time for another mimosa.

Unless you're this lady. She's had enough.

This charming 25-year-old is Kamaryn Gibson. She reportedly boarded a flight out of New Orleans drunk on Memorial Day. That's when she put her feet up on the seat in front of her and began to kick the passenger in that seat.

She was so disruptive, in fact, pilots had to bring the taxiing plane back to the gate. That's when she proceeded to bite and kick the sheriff's deputy as he dragged her off the plane.

But apparently Southwest is really getting used to this sort of thing.

Another (allegedly) drunken female passenger had to be pulled off the plane over the weekend. And to make matters worse, she was spitting on the other passengers.

That is until a quick-thinking flight attendant covered her face with the safety information card.

Why does this keep happening?

As a lover of airport bars, I assure you I'm rarely stone-cold sober when I board a flight. But what are these people drinking that makes them flip out like that?

And aside from the fact that my employer would certainly frown upon me assaulting an officer while being physically dragged off a plane, this whole thing just looks exhausting.

After a couple glasses of wine, I'm ready to bust out my little pink neck pillow, pop in my AirPods and take a nap. Wake me up when I've arrived at the beach.

Maybe it's just something in the water on those Southwest flights.

Man Robs Store with Box on His Head

We started Nightcaps with a "Florida Man" story. Let's end it with one, too.

No hate. The Sunshine State is my second home.

Before we get to that, though, allow me to tell you a personal story. Stick with me, I promise it's relevant.

I used to be the social media manager of an NFL team. During one slow day in the offseason, it also happened to be one of those stupid hashtag holidays — #NationalHatDay.

So I made a post encouraging fans to tweet a picture rocking their favorite hat! We'd pick a few at random to win some merch. Easy enough, right?

Well, it just so happens, this particular team was coming off a 3-13 season and was, frankly, pretty miserable at football.

So what did fans tweet back?

Pictures of themselves wearing paper bags and cardboard boxes over their heads.

Check mate. I did not think that one through.

Which brings me to this guy.

Claude Vincent Griffin robbed a cell phone repair store in Miami Gardens Saturday. Security cameras caught him busting open a glass counter and gathering up all the cell phones inside.

But instead of hiding his identity under a mask like a boring, regular thief, Griffin wore a cardboard box over his head.

A true criminal mastermind.

Except for one little problem: He forgot to cut eye holes in the box. During his attempted smash-and-grab, the clever disguise fell off, revealing his true identity.

Police caught him 10 hours later drinking outside a liquor store.

Speaking of...

It's time for me to head to the liquor store and stock up for the weekend.

I've got some time off, so you won't see me again until Nightcaps next Tuesday. I'm going to have a little staycation while I actively avoid downtown Nashville. I love country music, but CMA Fest crowds are not for me.

So I'm going to relax, recharge, even throw a little backyard party this weekend.

Tell you one thing I won't be doing, though: watching golf.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.

Follow me on Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.