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LSU at Alabama: 2013 CBS Drink

Okay, it’s back. 

Yes, LSU at Alabama doesn’t have the sizzle that it’s had for past years, but it’s still a primetime game on CBS. 

Every week you guys blow me up on Twitter for not making an Outkick drinking game for the top CBS game this week. 

Plus, be honest, you’re all looking for reasons to drink with your Internet friends. 

So let’s dive in.  

1. Will Nick Saban coach at Texas?

Will anyone on CBS be willing to mention that Nick Saban might go to Texas or will Nick Saban manage to Darth Vader choke either Uncle Verne or Gary if they bring it up? 

Drink if Saban to Texas is mentioned at all. 

2. Every time Verne Lundquist chortles, drink.

If you aren’t familiar with the Uncle Verne chortle, here’s an example of this glorious sound.  

 3. Each time highlights from one of the past year’s LSU-Bama games is shown, drink while standing.

If Jordan Jefferson is shown in a “highlight” you have to finish your entire drink. 

4. Every time that AJ McCarron is referred to as a “game manager,” drink. 

When Gary inevitably says, “Well, I think he’s much more than a game manager, Verne,” 

Finish your drink. 

5. It’s nearly impossible to mention Zach Mettenberger without also mentioning Cam Camerson’s impact on his quarterbacking. 

Each time Cam Camerson’s infulence on Mettenberger is mentioned, drink.  

If Gary Danielson telestrates Cameron’s influence on Mettenberger, finish your drink. 

6. Each time Les Miles is shown awkwardly clapping on the sideline, drink. 

If you, amazingly, aren’t familiar with the Les Miles hand clap, here’s video put to song. 

7. Whenever Uncle Verne Lundquist misprounces Ha-Ha Clinton Dix’s name, drink.

This is inevitable. 

8. At some point, you will pause your DVR, text a friend, or remark upon the hotness of an LSU or Alabama coed. 

When this happens, drink. 

If the man remarking on the hotness of the women is over the age of fifty, give your dad a five and finish your drink.

9. If Les Miles uses the words multiplicity, perimeter, or want in any interview with Tracy Wolfson, drink. 

If he uses all three in the same interview, do a shot.

10. Any time targeting is discussed, either pro or con, drink.

Targeting has turned into the new BCS standings, it’s always being talked about. 

11. If the BCS standings are shown, drink. 

If Gary Danielson telestrates the BCS standings, finish your drink. 

12. When Tracy Wolfson interviews Nick Saban and he turns to address the camera while appearing to stare directly into your soul, drink. 

It’s happening. 

Have fun kids.

Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.