The power of the stars & stripes will be running through my veins on the golf course this summer
What a Thursday night. Guys helping each other. Guys pushing and pulling on golf clubs. A weird substance being applied to the two-sided tape. Garage beers. Music. I’ve had interesting garage beer nights, but never one that centered on regripping golf clubs. The night definitely didn’t disappoint.
My buddy Diesel, one of the characters I’ve come to know through my life on the internet, hosted at his classic two-car garage with a storage loft that’s loaded with all sorts of odds & ends. It’s one of those garages where you can drip the two-sided tape juice and it’s no big deal. My golf cartner Canoe Kirk, who runs an amazing Mio, Michigan canoe trip down the Au Sable River in August, was also regripping his clubs for the upcoming season. Diesel, a grip expert, led the class.
Watch for tape bubbles. Make sure you apply enough tape juice. Make sure the opening is wet. Once the grip is on, don’t stop pushing, keep going. PUSH. “YOU NEED MORE JUICE,” Diesel yells as his playlist dials up Elton John.
The clubs pile up on the wall and suddenly it all comes together — plus the two wedges in the Karma grips because the eBay guy sent me eight grips — for the most patriotic golf grip photo I’ve ever seen. Yes, the Super Stroke putter grip is the fattest grip I could find at Dick’s. Diesel says that big boy will really quiet my hands. I have no idea what that means, but it sounds like the grip will shave at least two strokes off a round if I’m not sucking down Busch Lights.
I had a guy say these clubs will look amazing at the Put-In-Bay Invitational on June 19 — contact me for ticketing. Uh, these bad boys aren’t going anywhere near that island. I’ll get assaulted and robbed on that island if some loser from Cleveland lays eyes on these clubs.
The next stop for these stars and stripes is one of Diesel’s old Callaway golf bags so I can retire the Woke-a-Cola walking bag someone gave me years ago. Last night showed me a path forward with golf. My game might be garbage, but nobody will out-patriot me this summer. I’m welcoming all challengers.
Canoe Kirk showing off his new grips:
• Switching gears, LOOK AT THIS! Bernie Sanders isn’t going to be in the business of telling parents to get their kids vaccinated. “It’s not my job to tell parents or kids to get vaccinated,” Uncle Bern said Wednesday. “What we want to do is make sure that it is safe and the evidence seems to suggest that it would be safe.”
• The top story in Las Vegas this morning: ‘Las Vegas home prices skyrocketing as more Californians arrive.’ The report adds that lines of people are forming outside houses to do tours. People are also disregarding home appraisals and waiving contingencies. Some people are hiring security to handle crowds outside houses. Wild times indeed.
• Happy Mother’s Day weekend to all the moms out there who’ve held together families while some of us regrip our clubs and have a couple of garage beers. You’re the real heroes out there giving 110%. I plan on planting flowers for Mrs. Kinsey and giving her what she really wants: peace and quiet so she can play video games on her special day.
Numbers from :
With his homer tonight, this is the second time this year Shohei Ohtani of the @Angels has been the starting pitcher one day and then homered the next day.
He's the first player in the modern era to do that twice in the same season.
— Stats By STATS (@StatsBySTATS) May 7, 2021
Stuff You Guys Sent In & Stuff I Like:
TFW you are indeed having an awesome, awesome morning. pic.twitter.com/rgsyWeSeLd
— Kevin Van Valkenburg (@KVanValkenburg) May 6, 2021
Shohei Ohtani pitched five scoreless innings on the mound last night.
Tonight, he crushed his 10th home run of the season at the plate. This ball traveled 428 feet and left the bat at 107.6 mph. pic.twitter.com/42g5CPBAOC
— Brent Maguire (@bmags94) May 7, 2021
— Freezing Cold Takes (@OldTakesExposed) May 7, 2021
— KTNV 13 Action News (@KTNV) May 7, 2021
— Joe Kinsey (@JoeKinseyexp) May 7, 2021
Justin Bieber is in northeast Ohio for Dealers’ Indians pic.twitter.com/l2leheU4sx
— MLB Closed Captioning (@mlb_cc) May 7, 2021
He’s done it John McCain says no pic.twitter.com/ellL2JyPnz
— MLB Closed Captioning (@mlb_cc) May 6, 2021
Super 90th B-Day to Willie Mays, the closest god ever came to making a perfect center fielder. pic.twitter.com/k0phbt9mbX
— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) May 6, 2021
— The Open (@TheOpen) May 7, 2021
Artist. Fighter. Legend.
— The Open (@TheOpen) May 7, 2021
Unloading my bets every weekend like 😳
— FanDuel Sportsbook (@FDSportsbook) May 7, 2021
Hooooooo! 👍 pic.twitter.com/sHXRZwqJNz
— 80's Wrestling (@80sWrestling_) May 6, 2021
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— Vegas Travel News (@VegasTravelNews) May 6, 2021
This simple act of kindness is so thoughtful. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/GtZkZXT2CK
— People (@people) May 6, 2021
twitter crop is gone ??? pic.twitter.com/8lzxnmUHj5
— Four Loko (@fourloko) May 6, 2021
— Twisted Tea (@TwistedTea) May 3, 2021
Stuff me with prosciutto, fresh mozz, reggiano and bread. pic.twitter.com/eC0u8empEx
— Chef Andrew Gruel (@ChefGruel) May 7, 2021