Videos by OutKick
Listen, I get it. Your local FM DJ’s been spinning Christmas tunes for $12/hr since October. The last thing you want to hear is Jessica Simpson shit all over a classic like ‘The Little Drummer Boy.’ But suck it up. After tomorrow you can go right back to listening to Limp Bizkit’s ‘Break Stuff’ on repeat during your work commute.
In the meantime, cruise through OutKick’s list of the Top Five Christmas songs, featuring something for everyone. Even you — guy with the tribal tattoo, wearing the $35 “Naughty List” Christmas t-shirt at 24-Hour Fitness.
Drum roll, please. Drum roll.
5) ‘The Little Drummer Boy’ – Bob Seger
Seger is to The Little Drummer Boy what ass implants are to Kim Kardashian. Once you’ve had one without the other, you don’t ever want to go back to the way it was.
4) ‘Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town’ – Bruce Springsteen
I know, I know. Modern-day Springsteen’s softer than the Ohio State offensive line, but this song bangs. Whoever nicknamed Springsteen “The Boss” obviously did so after listening to this through their living-room based, 4′ tall Pioneer Stereo system, with the accompaniment of a handle of Black Velvet.
3) ‘Christmas Eve/ Sarajevo (Timeless Version)’ – Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Planning a Christmas Eve heist? Ever get the urge to run through a wall (me neither)? Need a little extra juice while prepping for one last pre-holiday kettlebell swing? Do yourself a favor and pump this through your AirPods. But be warned, you might want to keep some downers on hand, cause it’s going to be tough to come down from this high.
2) ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ – Mariah Carey
The New England Patriots of Christmas songs: You don’t have to love it, but you have to recognize it, respect it, and appreciate its longevity. The most streamed Christmas song of all-time. And dammit, try and resist, but this is a certified toe-tapper. When this debuted in 1994, audiences were hearing (and seeing) prime Mariah – the type of Mariah who’s music videos were unknowingly teaching pre pubescent boys about the female anatomy.
1) ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ – Band Aid
Phil Collins, Sting, Bono…just a few of the artists contributing their talents to the GOAT Christmas song, courtesy of cocaine and the 80s. Not only did more than 30 well-known musicians combine to make love to our ears, they did so while feeding the world.
Now that I’ve filled your Spotify holiday playlist, let me be the first to say: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.
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