Relax, Dallas Cowboys fans. Linebacker Leighton Vander Esch’s weekend adventure where he was hand-feeding a bear on an Idaho river went just fine. He didn’t have his hand ripped off by the bear and his fingers are just fine.
Everyone knows that bears aren’t interested in eating a hand when there’s a glorious fish to eat. It’s the Smoky Mountains where bears eat humans who overdosed on meth.
“Definitely a couple firsts this weekend. Not often you get to feed a wild bear and get a picture with two sturgeon in the same frame. Amazing weekend with family making memories that will last a lifetime!” Vander Esch wrote on Instagram.
The only problem with this video is that there’s a very good chance Cowboys fans will want to be like Leighton.
Butch will tell the old lady and the kids to get into the grocery-getter and they’ll head to Dollywood for a vacation. Butch will want his own viral video by feeding a peanut butter and jelly sammie to a bear who’ll then rip off Butch’s face.
Will I hate it when that content pops up on the Internet? Yes, but just for Butch’s family.
As a guy who works in the content field, a bear ripping off Butch’s face while trying to feed it a PB&J because Leighton did something similar is incredible content. If you’re going to get into viral video creation business, faces will be ripped off. That’s just the risk one takes for the glory of a video that might notch 500 likes.
I hate to be the guy who says told you so, but it’s starting to feel like we’re getting close to someone from the sports world being mauled to death by a wild beast. Don’t forget three weeks ago NFL super agent Drew Rosenhaus was jerkin’ around with a 9-foot shark in the Atlantic Ocean when things got dicey.
If I were a betting man, I’d predict someone will lose a limb before NFL training camp opens in like three weeks. There is plenty of time for one of these guys to get too relaxed only to have a cougar jump out of a tree and rip off his arm.
You’ve been warned, athletes. #staysafe