Lauren Boebert Triggers The Libs With Her Dress, Joe Exotic Asks Joe Burrow For Help & Eagles Fan Tries To Spell Eagles

It's school donation season and we're taking incoming fire from all directions...no I will not give you 10 emails!!

It started Tuesday with an urgent email barrage (there have been multiple emails to the point I started to think this guy was a Screencaps reader) from the 5th and 6th grade principal who told parents they needed to send a "Please Donate" message to 10 email addresses so our child would 'Win' a prize that could be a piece of plastic, another piece of plastic or some other piece of plastic.

All we have to do is send out those 10 email addresses, via the fundraising site, which is run by some fundraising company subsidiary that has a mailing address that tracks to a mailbox at a UPS store in a suburban Colorado strip mall.

Seems legit. Or not.

10 emails, no obligation to donate, the principal's email read. The funds raised go to the school! Parents do not learn how much of the cut the strip mall mailbox company earns off the donated money.

So sell out the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, etc. so this company with a mailbox at a UPS store will then have tens of thousands of emails at their disposal. What does the company do with the emails? I work on the Internet, I can make a guess.

We told Screencaps Jr. it wasn't happening.

I just spent the entire summer writing about how travel ball parents are begging people on Facebook to buy squares to fund their travel ball vacations and how I find it disgusting. You damn well better believe I'm not pimping out my own mother's email address to the UPS Store mailbox fundraising company.

Last night, Mrs. Screencaps starts digging into Screencaps the III's backpack and finds another fundraiser letter. This time it's from the elementary school parents' organization and it has a different approach -- they literally tell you, "We understand you don't want to do a fundraiser, so any money you can donate to our organization would be awesome."

I can respect that.

Again, I'm pro-kids. I'm pro-repopulating the United States so the Boomers have waiters and waitresses as they burn through their retirements over cocktails and appetizers. I'm pro-education. I'm way more pro-school for my kids than I was pro-school for myself.

But the guilt trip we went on this week for not giving up 10 emails was something I won't soon forget. I'm shook to the core.

Don't sellout your family emails to the UPS Store mailbox company.

(Just as I was finishing up this post, Screencaps Jr.'s English teacher sent an email stating he's placing Scholastic book orders. Make it stop!!!!)

It's Friday...time for Fall Cocktail Recommendations for next Saturday when it's actually Fall!

Just so we're all on the same page and for FULL DISCLOSURE so someone doesn't go to the Fox News Corp. lawyers and yell that I should've used #Ad because we're mentioning Fireball, this email IS NOT #Sponsored.

#NotSponsored

Good, now that I have that out of the way, let's get to the booze!

• Drew C. writes:

Do not try this drink until it is well after Sept. 23 and it is sufficiently cold enough for jeans and a hoodie/beanie on a regular basis.

First off I am a Bourbon bro/Whiskey guy.  This is the only time I ever drink Fireball (not a whiskey, don't care what you say)

Get yourself a sleeve of the airplane sized bottles of Fireball.  Start some cider/wassail going in a crock pot with your favorite spices.  Once the cider is hot, it is simply 1 Fireball to 1 mug of cider.  

Warms you from the inside out.  

Great at the tailgate or just at home by the fire.  

On coaching kids' soccer

• Chris A. writes:

Even though I knew nothing about soccer, I was drafted to coach my twin boys' rec soccer team 10 years ago (Don't blink!) when they were 12 because no one else would step up to do it.

The two other 12 y/o coed teams' rosters in our neighborhood athletic organization had been determined already, so my team was the scrubbiest of scrub teams. My boys were not advanced in the sport after playing most of their springs and falls on rec baseball teams, but they were fast and big for their age.

My one request was to have a part-time assistant coach who had soccer coaching experience, and I was supplied with a lovely gentleman who helped me design drills for the kids. The one thing I contributed was how to play defense.

In the past, I saw numerous defenders consistently running a half-stride behind the ball handler and thought that was the dumbest thing. So I borrowed a page out of my basketball coaching notebook and told my players to stay a half-stride ahead on the goal side of the ball handler. Somehow they listened to me and saw the results as the season went on. They got beat 11-0 in the first game by a team that could have scored 30 goals if it wanted to, but by the end of the season they were losing by 1-0 and 2-0 scores, and I could not have been happier for them. That season brought me the most joy I had coaching kids, because they were coachable, respectful, nice kids whose parents were as relaxed as soccer parents could be. 

Years later I watched those same kids getting honored at their high school graduation, with one of them doing the valedictorian speech. A lot of the boys on the other teams were really good players and did the travel thing for a while, with a couple making major contributions to their championship high school team. But I would not have wanted to coach them.

So enjoy coaching rec league, and try to be an assistant coach if at all possible. Your hairline and stomach lining will thank you. 

• Chris B. in Houston did a tour of duty coaching soccer:

I had coached a few seasons of teeball when I took on my first soccer coaching gig. I knew nothing about soccer but at that point (5U) it was mostly about organizing the team activities and herding cats.

Practices were pretty fun.

Games were chaos with the amoeba of kids clustered around the ball, and the alpha kids running circles around the flower pickers. Enjoy it man. Soccer people are way different than baseball people. And that in itself makes it a new challenge.

The Respect Summer crew doing work!

• Jim M. & Mrs. Jim M understand the game:

Still crushing summer here in RI!

That's the wife digging some quahogs. 2 days off because of Lee, but next week should be high 70's.

Summer rolls on!

Kinsey:

I'll admit it, I had to google quahogs. Now I know they're hard clams and the official shellfish of Rhode Island. You're damn right I'm busting out that knowledge some random night at 7:30 when quahogs are an answer on Jeopardy.

• Kim checks in with this sunset from Cashiers, NC:

I've been a little behind lately.

• Christian in Los Angeles (it still amazes me people in Los Angeles and other big cities care about this column) writes:

A couple of things...

My wife came home from Trader Joe's yesterday and there were two charges for mini pumpkins that she didn't buy. She went back to the store and told the Manager she didn't buy them. He said, "Are you sure you didn't buy them?" My wife replied, "My husband will kill me if I bring anything Halloween or Fall into the House before October 1st." I've got a good one.

I'm going to put my former digital hat and CMS knowledge from 2010 on and ask - can you set up a landing page for Screencaps? When I go searching for past articles, I click on your name on Outkick, and it takes me to a page with a link to book you for a show and then "Latest from Joe" yet only the site disclaimer is beneath with no links. I don't want to miss a day but things get busy.

I own in Los Angeles but unfortunaletly don't have a lawn. It doesn't stop me from admiring the TNML and doing some window shopping. See attached. I spent a good 20 minutes browsing and sitting on them.

As a West Coast native, I'm a sunset guy. Here's a picture I took in Maui in July. I was driving from Lahaina and had to pull over to catch this glorious sunset. 

Love the Screencaps and the community.

Kinsey:

• Gerard W. in Illinois writes:

Paul is correct on the sunsets.  Midwest sunsets are phenomenal.   I took this Maui sunset just a few weeks before this place was destroyed in that fire. (Still feel terrible for those poor people in Lahaina..)  The barn picture is back here on the farm in Illinois.  The picture of the barn doesn’t do the beauty justice.  It looked way better in real life.  Should’ve taken that screencaps reader up on the offer awhile back on how to edit pictures. 

Has Bud Light had special cans at football games for awhile or is this a new thing?  Went to parents weekend last weekend and they had these cans that nobody was drinking other than my wife. 

(She has no clue who Dylan Mulvaney is and never drinks so I wasn’t stopping her…)    Everyone else was drinking Mic Ultras, me included.  Saw one guy with a Yuengling can but couldn’t find the vendor.

A year ago I bet these special cans would’ve sold like hot cakes.       

Kinsey:

BTW, I can't believe I agree with the New York Times on this subject. This headline ran September 2.

Columnist Melissa Kirsch wrote:

"I challenge you, this year, to own every last day until the equinox (Sept. 23 at 2:49 a.m. Eastern in the Northern Hemisphere). Sure, the first day of school has come and gone, the vacation people have returned from their vacationing, rested and restive, muttering about Q4 and getting a jump start on Christmas shopping. But there are still three weeks left of summer, plenty of time both for nimbu pani and pumpkin spice alike. Plenty of time to integrate your summer self — looser, less fretful — into the incipient and inevitable enterprise of fall."

Kinsey:

Holy shit, now I have to go back and look when I first started mentioning September 23. Trust me, I didn't copy Melissa. I didn't even know she existed.

Nightmare fuel

• Bill C. writes:

Coming home today I see this house around the corner. Pumpkins in September? By the 14th? Should never appear in MS before October 1st. Bad form.

#respectsummer

What's up with all the 'New Driver' stickers?

• Pete in Virginia asks:

This may be a topic that starts something, but I wanted to if this is a local phenomenon. 

It seems as if around 50 percent of cars in Central Virginia have a sticker on the rear that says "New Driver - Please Be Patient ".  I've had 2 new drivers in this house in the last 7 years, with 2 more within 4 years in the bullpen warming up, and never once have I thought to put one of these stickers on any of the trucks. 

I need to know if these stickers are "truth in advertising", there's actually a new driver in the vehicle or family, or it's a "get out of jail free" where I'm supposed to automatically forgive their crappy driving habits because the sticker tells me to.  Because I see very few drivers that I would consider "new" behind the wheel.  

Are these stickers prevalent around the country, or is this a product of our ridiculous traffic situation?

Kinsey:

I have no idea if it's a requirement here in Ohio, but it's quite common to see "Student Driver" stickers right on the trunk. Since I don't have a kid ready to start driving, I haven't investigated this world and I'm super busy this morning to investigate via Google.  

That's it for this morning. I have to get Screencaps the III to school and then I'm appearing on the Dakich show at 10 ET. Just another busy Friday morning. God bless the weekends when it sorta slows down for like 12 hours.

Speaking of the weekend, it's a big one. I'm playing golf in the Miami Valley for the first time in like 20 years and its at the first outing ever for my high school baseball team. Yes, I will be donating money. Brookville baseball will forever run through my veins.

Take care. Have a great weekend. I'm off to the school pickup line.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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