Lauren Boebert & Her Dem Date Getting Hands-On Triggers The Libs, Rock Resurfaces On SmackDown, Plus Saban Vs. PeeWee

Videos by OutKick

I don’t have much time to talk this morning because Screencaps Jr. & Screencaps The III need to be on the pitch like Miami Messi

Look, I knew these late summer/early fall Saturday mornings were going to be brutal and this morning didn’t disappoint. Would I rather sleep in after staying up watching the Virginia-Maryland second-half bloodbath? Absolutely.

Would it be nice to not have to “work” on Friday night (which means I had to investigate the Lauren Boebert hands-on videos while watching college football) and sleep in on a Saturday morning after a couple of SUMMER shandies? Trust me, I’m not complaining about the life I built here, but, yes.

This is the life I chose and if I have to make huge sacrifices by getting my ass out of bed after a night of beers, Boebert and football. Someone has to do it and I’m just the guy. A higher power chose me and I’m forever greatful for the higher power’s decision when he/she could have picked so many others.

Why me?

I ask myself that question all the time.

Soccer coaches on soccer coaching & a Boebert report

• Steve B. in Grand Junction, CO writes:

  • Like probably most Americans, I’ve never watched one minute of soccer that didn’t involve a blood relative on the field. But I stepped up to coach my daughter’s team when she was 4. What a strange experience. We practiced near the airport, and overhead planes would fascinate the girls, causing practice to come to a standstill whenever a jet flew by. 
  • During the middle of a game one time, a girl ran off the field to get a snack. Another time, two of our players stopped during the game (this was 3 on 3 remember), to argue over which player’s jersey number was better.
  • I was so clueless about soccer, that I spent hours Googling the very basics of the game to become the “expert.”  (I didn’t even know how to kick a soccer ball). Fast forward to after the first practice, when I ask one of the player’s dad what he does for work. He replied, “I coach the CMU (our local college), men’s soccer team.” 
  • Side note: my wife and daughter were at Beetlejuice that day when Lauren Boebert was escorted out (My son and I were down the road at the Broncos game, watching our kicker miss extra points and causing us lose to the Raiders). Lauren Boebert is my Congresswoman, and I know whenever she does something out of the norm, it’s going to lead to at least three weeks of entertaining local lib triggering and a flood of letters to the editor.

Moving along…I don’t have much time here. It’s 6:45 a.m. and I’m super rushed…very few Twitter Big Js ever say that line

• Mike L. writes:

Just curious, do you hold off on any type of Oktoberfest beers? If offered would you pass or grab? 


I absolutely hold off. Last night, I was at Churchill’s grocery store right here in our perfect little town and there were the usual suspects in the beer section looking to stock up for the weekend. The guy in front of me actually brought up how he’s on the fence on what to get because we’re inbetween seasons. I ran into him at the checkout and he went with a 12 of Ultras for the wife and he bought 12 Sam Adams Oktoberfest for himself.

Too soon.

I had a sixer of Market Garden Summer Shandy and a sixer (I think there are six cans in there) of Troegs Dream Weaver Wheat because it makes me think of a sunny summer day with waves of wheat blowing in the wind.

Then I went home and started a fire and sat on the patio enjoying a shandy on a fairly nice late summer night. It could’ve been a little warmer for my liking.

Short answer to your question, Mike, is that if you really want to Respect Summer, you keep buying summer beers. If I was offered an Oktoberfest, I would never turn it down because I’m not an asshole. Nice guys drink an Oktoberfest OFFERED UP.

It turns out quahog has already been used on Jeopardy

Remember Friday when I mentioned how I’d never heard of a quahog, the official shellfish of Rhode Island and how I’m now ready when quahog pops up on Jeopardy?

Jim M., who sent in the original photo of his wife hunting for the clams, reminded me quahog has already had its Jeopardy moment.

History of beer at college football stadiums

• Derek S. in Indiana writes:

At my alma mater, The University of Louisville, beer was available at both Cardinal Stadium and Freedom Hall for football and basketball games in the 80’s when I was there…

Sometimes the pre game tailgating at Cardinal Stadium got so outta control we forgot to go into the game! (Saw the Rolling Stones at Cardinal Stadium in 89!)

In the mid 90’s football moved to a new stadium… Still More booze available!

In 2010 I think…the basketball teams moved to the KFC Yum Center. Locals and sports writers refer to the Yum as the World’s Biggest Sports Bar… Bars and beer vendors Everywhere!

And the Yum is a great concert venue:  Saw Van Halen, Roger Waters, KISS, Motley Crue, Metallica and Pink there!

(I Know! Pink doesn’t fit the list but the Wifey wanted to go…. While I am generally a Rocker? I DO appreciate a Good live show and Pink brings it!  She was Awesome and flying all over that arena!)

Love the ‘Caps!  It’s as much a daily ritual of mine as breathing…

• Gary in Rocky River, OH writes:

I am a recent arrival to your regular postings.  Along with many others, I find your column a must read.

As a  father of three older children (24, 22 and 19) I am enjoying your trials and tribulations with your kids.

Yes, I coached everything and was almost burned at the stake when as a basketball guy/former Big Ten hoops referee/etc. I was asked to coach my daughter’s travel soccer team.  My sin was referring to soccer as basketball on grass!!!!  Soccer is ball movement, spacing, moving without the ball.  Basketball played properly is ball movement, spacing and moving without the ball.

Go figure.

Pursuant to your alcohol being served on campus comments… a freshmen at the University of Cincinnati in the fall of 1985 they were serving beer on campus at Nippert Stadium. Back then we played some games on campus and some games at Riverfront Stadium.

Sunrise vs. Sunset

• Matt in NOLA writes:

Thanks for the SC community.  Haven’t written since the Old Course conversation, but start my day with coffee and some SC sanity.

Had to weigh in on sunrise vs. sunset, and for me, its sunset by a mile.  Cocktail in hand, watching God’s handiwork transform the sky, while the stresses of the day slip away.  Nothing better.

Sunrise, I’m already thinking about the day’s tasks and gearing up for everything I need to accomplish in the next 12 hours.

New Driver stickers

• Ron E. says:

I’ve got a 16-year old new driver in the house. Those “New Driver – Please Be Patient” signs are magnets. I too am seeing many one person in the vehicle with these magnets on their car. Every morning my daughter drives to school with me (since she only has a permit). When we get there, I get out, take off the magnets and drive to work. It’s so simple.

• Ryan W. writes:

A couple of days ago I thought about sending in the exact same email as Pete in Virginia about new driver stickers.

They are everywhere out here in Oregon, and like Pete said, I think they are a get out of jail free card. We have notoriously bad drivers here and I assume that people put these up so they don’t get any grief when they do something dumb on the road. I have seen some cars with 3(!) of these stickers plastered across the back.

It seems like one of those situations where now they are so prevalent that nobody cares, I know I don’t.

• Edd writes:

“Are these stickers prevalent around the country, or is this a product of our ridiculous traffic situation?”

“New Driver – Please Be Patient “. These are all over the place here in Colorado Springs.

As you said- “I see very few drivers that I would consider “new” behind the wheel. “

My stickers, attached, probably gives away that I’m not a new driver.

• Paul in Cincy writes:

Our son got his license within the last year.  When he first got his temps we put on these magnets in the hopes that the maniacs speeding around the streets and highways of Cincy would maybe give him a break and not tailgate or flash their brights because he was driving the speed limit.

He was nervous enough and we didn’t want the added stress of aggressive drivers.  Not sure if it helped and was more for his peace of mind.  He doesn’t use them now that he’s got his real license but he still complains about other drivers going too fast.

Schools begging for donations from parents — Sheriff John in Houston (as named by the readers) IS BACK!

You guys are in luck today because Sheriff John from Houston is back and when this guy writes an email, he doesn’t get cheated. He has sent emails on the following topics: Zipper merging, umpires, raccoons and schools begging.

The guy is everything I’ve ever wanted out of an emailer. He’s Harvard educated, doesn’t take shit off nobody and writes with conviction.

• Sheriff John writes:

The discussion about school “fundraising” is something I’ve been quite angry about the past few years. It’s not a fundraiser, it’s an underage boiler room. (And whatever happened to Giovanni Ribisi?)

When I was growing up, we at least had to sell crappy chocolate bars or scented candles or popcorn or coupon books whatever. Yes, they weren’t the highest quality, but at least the kids had to try to sell something and learn a skill other than flat out begging from their relatives. I hate that. My kids are now being taught by the school to skip the sales part and just go straight to begging. And not only that, first it was the football team coercing both of my boys to go panhandling and now a month later the youngest is coming back to the well again and has his hand out for the band. And if the kids have too much pride and refuse to participate they are worried that they will be retaliated against later by the coach and the band director. The football “fundraiser” even instructed the kids that their parents could only contribute 20% of their contributions! No letting rich mom and dad relieve you of the awkwardness of begging Uncle Dave and Aunt Cathy for some of their pension money, no sir. 

(In all seriousness, I understand that not all of the kids on the football team have a rich mom and dad, but do you think the kids who don’t still have rich relatives who can be hit up instead? I kind of doubt it.)

I used to be the treasurer of our local little league and we would raise a lot of money through an annual silent auction and a really good raffle that always had good stuff like Astros tickets, big screen TV’s, waterpark passes, rifles (this is Texas), and golf clubs. That was the right way to do it. Why can’t the schools do that? Why not go looking for sponsorship money from a business? Too much work? Isn’t that what the booster club is for? Doing work? And the benefit of raffles and auctions and sponsorships is that you’re asking businesses for donations and the businesses are getting publicity for donating. And if they don’t have the means at least they didn’t feel guilty like Grandma and Grandpa and all the aunts and uncles might. 

And speaking of the booster club, my wife and I already bought maximum memberships to both the athletic booster club and the band booster club, and we’ll buy tickets and attend the annual fundraising parties, but now we’re still expected to “contribute” more. 

I hate this crap. 


It feels like I should let Sheriff John write the monologue to Screencaps some Saturday morning. The guy is good.

Did anyone else catch these two?

One more weekend to Respect Summer and give it everything you’ve got

• Larry H. in Tennessee writes:

I agree that fall and Christmas decorations are brought out way too early. I was in our local Cracker Barrel restaurant yesterday and it has some fall and Halloween décor and it was LOADED with Christmas trees and decorations. Too early.

Amuses me to see the emails about wives that won’t adhere to the September 23rd date for starting to decorate for fall. I’ve been married for 42 years and if I tried to tell my wife she can’t decorate until September 23rd or can’t do anything for that matter, she would say “JUST WATCH ME”. LOL. Have a great patio/football/beer drinking/yacht rock weekend.


Thank you, Larry.

It’s going to be a fairly busy weekend around here. I’m actually playing golf with high school classmates I haven’t seen in well over a decade. Some of the guys I haven’t seen since I left school. It’s going to be fun taking part in the inaugural outing for my high school baseball program where I have great memories. And it’s beyond time to raise money to give the kids the support they need.

I fondly remember my high school days when my head coach, who had kicked my father off the team in the early 1970s because he wouldn’t cut his hair, call my dad and ask him to run the baseball booster program. My dad had never done anything like that before and I’m not sure he ever raised a dime for the team.

Now the program has an actual golf outing. Times sure have changed.

And with that, I need to get breakfast served up, get the chairs into the van and haul ass to the soccer fields. Have a great day across this incredible country we get to call home.

Go attack the weekend.

Take care.


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Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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