Larsa Pippen Claims She's Having A Ridiculous Amount Of Sex With Marcus Jordan

Remember when I wrote about how Larsa Pippen would be using her relationship with Marcus Jordan as a way to create eyeballs for "Real Housewives of Miami" like how Kardashians use NBA power forwards for their shows?

As if on cue, for this Thursday's RHOM reunion show, Peacock dropped a promo video where Scottie Pippen's ex-wife, and mother to his four children, tells her castmates: "I've always had sex like four times a night."

OMG, no she didn't?

Oh yes, she did!

"Your poor vagina," one of her concerned castmates fires back.

And Larsa wasn't done with the headline-grabbing declarations. Show host Andy Cohen then shares a viewer comment on how Marcus Jordan (MJ's son), 32, is "closer in age" to her son, Scotty Jr., the mom shoots back with a bizarre quote.

"But wears a size 15 shoe, so I think he's OK," Larsa, 48, replied.

What is wrong with you, lady?

It would be nice if Elon Musk would offer these morons a one-way ticket to the moon where they could turn into the very first reality stars in space. Society could send up a plastic surgery team every six months to help the ladies lift the butt and fill some wrinkles and then the cameras would start running again.

Then, we sell the footage to bad actors around the world who like to torture prisoners. The bad actors then loop this stupid footage for hours until the prisoners break.

If you believe that Larsa Pippen has "always" had sex like four times a night, I have a house in the Everglades with a basement to sell you.

According to the sexperts at the Kinsey Institute (no relation, I think), the average person between 18 and 29 has sex 112 times a year, or 2.1 times a week. Based on research from the fertility app Kindara, 60.8% of women want sex three to five times a week.

Is it possible Larsa Pippen went all these years on reality TV and forgot to mention that she's a sex addict?

I'm supposed to believe a 48-year-old woman with kids, including a 14-year-old daughter, is getting into the sack and demanding a trip to the bone zone four times a night?

If this is legitimately happening, then Andy Cohen needs to put on his Big J thinking cap and lean into this with a line of questions.

"Larsa, four seems way too high. Is the sex bad, or do you just need that amount of sex to calm down before the 11 p.m. news comes on?"

Girlfriend, we're going to need more details on such a declaration because this is the type of topic that can trend on Facebook for days upon days.

In 2016, porn star Allie Haze explained how strenuous it is to have this amount of sex in one day, not just one night. “It’s exhausting. It’s so taxing...it's body draining," the pro said of the regimen.

There you go. Either Larsa is lying for the camera or she should immediately be studied by America's top researchers.