Lane Kiffin is the most hated man in america

By Clark Amundson

I admire people from Minnesota. With the exception of the psycho Viking fans still pissed about the 1998 NFC Championship Game, Minnesota’s people are incredibly nice. This in spite of the bone cracking cold they live in roughly 95.8% of the year. 

So how did a kid from Bloomington, Minnesota become the most hated man in America?

Hard work and relentless effort.

I am, of course, referring to one Lane Monte Kiffin. That’s right, Lane Kiffin is the most hated man in America. 

I’m really not prepared to hear opposing arguments on this. Given the number of people in the number of places Lane has managed to piss off, it’s as close to an inarguable fact as it gets. When you could use PR advice from Nick Saban, you’ve got a problem.

Consider the evidence:

Exhibit A- Oakland Raiders fans

As a result of his time with the Oakland Raiders, I’m wondering how Lane is still alive. OKTC has recently ranked Raider fans as the 7th dumbest fan base in America. However, were Clay to rank the most dangerous fan bases, Oakland Raider fans would be numbers 1-5. Guaranteed.

When Al Davis calls you a liar and accuses you of bringing disgrace to the Raiders (!), you have reached the point of no return.

Exhibit B- The Tennessee Volunteers

What does it say about a man who has managed to anger 2 of the top 10 dumbest fan bases in a period of 3 years?

He should truly be afraid for his life.

After leading the Vols to marginal improvement over the fired Phil Fulmer, our boy crapped on Rocky Top for the sand and sunshine of LA and USC.  

I would sacrifice whatever the football gods want to get USC on the road in Knoxville. There are thousands of Davy Crockett impersonators who have sworn to drink Kiffin’s blood out of their coon skin hats.

Exhibit C- The USC Trojans

Coach Kiffin was asked at this year’s Pac-12 Media Day if he had an inkling as to who Matt Barkley's replacement would be. He answered that he had no idea.

The reason? He’s spent all summer reviewing the termination clause in his contract.

Don’t you have to conclude that Trojan fans hate Kiffin now, too? He holds the distinction of being the first coach since 1964 (longer than he’s been alive) to take a team from a pre-season #1 ranking to unranked at the end of the season. 

Exhibit D- Everyone else obligated to hate Lane Kiffin

Florida Fans- Kiffin once famously said he’d be singing Rocky Top in the swamp. He also accused Urban Meyer of violating NCAA rules. At the time in Gainsville, this was like accusing Tim Tebow of impregnating a coed.

South Carolina Fans- Kiffin reportedly told Alshon Jeffery that he’d pump gas for the rest of his life if he chose to attend South Carolina. Come to think of it, I’d rather infuriate Raider fans than Steve Spurrier.

Notre Dame Fans- Surely another fan base that will end up inside the top 5 dumbest in America. The Irish faithful are obligated to hate all things USC and that includes Kiffin.

UCLA Bruins Fans- Another fan base obligated to hate all things USC.

Anyone not included in one of the above categories need only Google “Layla Kiffin." That will bring everyone else on board. Yup, this jackass is married to her.

Add it all up and you get the undisputed most hated man in America.