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How is it already Wednesday? Not that I’m complaining. Holiday weeks always have everyone screwed up, but that’s part of the fun. And who are we kidding? Most everyone’s mailing it in all week and continuing their booze cruise through the weekend.
Mrs. Jay Cutler Kristin Cavallari likely agrees. But we’ll get to her in a minute.
We’ll also talk old guys knocking up much younger girls, laugh at Jalen Rose (again), peer into P!nk’s camping adventures and find time to make fun of a white rapper. Time to get the giant ice cubes out of the freezer and fill that rocks glass with the good stuff.
This is Wednesday’s Nightcaps – let’s get loose!
Kristin Cavallari Was Poolside For The Holiday Week
While you were grillside Monday trying to keep the beer cold and the dogs from burning, Kristin Cavallari took a turn at heating up Instagram – again. And, well, mission accomplished.
*To go all Big J journalist on ya, she posted the photo yesterday (Tuesday) but I’m going to go out on a limb and assume this was part of Monday’s Memorial Day festivities. I’ll petition my OutKick boss to let me do a Cavallari deep-dive to nail down the exact date later. But that could take days, weeks, or even months to prepare for the Kristin Cavallari IG beat. So, we move on…
The 36-year-old mother of three was spilling out of a black bikini Monday and, fortunately for us, decided to share her anatomy with the internet. Like any true patriot, Cavallari captioned her fire photo with an American flag.
As history has shown us, Kristin Cavallari rarely, if ever, disappoints.
And oh by the way, ex-hubby Jay just bagged a bear. I’m sure the activists will soon be calling/protesting/being loud, etc.
Al Pacino Is Going To Be An Old Dad
While Kristin’s been spending her time by the water, Al Pacino’s been on the ice – sort of. The 83-year-old actor recently slipped one past the goalie and got his 29-year-old girlfriend, Noor Alfallah, pregnant.
Gimmie a second here. Pacino’s 83, Noor’s 29…carry the one, that’s a 54-year age gap. And as OutKick’s Alejandro Avila reported, Pacino and Alfallah are expecting the baby to arrive any day now. News of the pair being a couple first surfaced around April of last year.
Man, on one hand, you’ve gotta be impressed that Al Pacino’s still walking around with a loaded gun at 83. On the other hand, pops is going to be tending to a crying baby while most men his age are alternating between naps and reruns of The Price is Right.
Baby Pacino will enter this world with a father who is older than YouTube, Amazon and Google combined. On the plus side, this an opportunity for some unexpected father-son bonding. Senior and junior are at the ages to where they shouldn’t have a problem eating applesauce and dirtying their diapers together.
Jack Harlow Should Pick A Side
If you don’t know who Jack Harlow is, you must not be, or have kids in the 12-25 age range. And you’ve also probably, thankfully, never seen the White Men Can’t Jump reboot. Harlow is a popular white rapper who occasionally acts. One of his most well-known songs is “Tyler Herro,” an ode to the Miami Heat sharpshooter of the same name.
Anyways, Herro’s Heat beat the Celtics in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals on Monday night. Harlow was at the game in Boston…wearing a Celtics coat.
I mean, wtf?
Now that Herro and the Heat have advanced to the NBA Finals, they’ll square off with the Denver Nuggets. Should Harlow attend any Finals games, he could grab himself a Nikola Jokic jersey (no way you can go back to Miami/Herro threads now).
If you’re going to jump from bandwagon to bandwagon, there’s worse ones to occupy than that of Jokic’s. The two-time MVP was literally drafted (2014) during a Taco Bell commercial!
While we’re here, Denver’s mascot, Rocky, makes more than most NBA second-round picks. I love me some OutKick, but damn, I should’ve got into the mascot biz…
One last NBA Finals note – how about this from Heat star Jimmy Butler. After losing Game 7 of the ECF last May to the Celtics, Butler said the following: “Next year, we will have enough and we’re gonna be right be right back in this same situation and we’re gonna get it done.”
Exactly one year to the day, Butler and the Heat did just that, beating the Celtics in Boston.
P!nk Gets Naked In The Woods
Whether it’s Jimmy Butler and his teammates or Jokic and the Nuggets, someone’s just a couple weeks away from hoisting a Larry O’Brien trophy while partaking in a champagne shower. Singer P!nk didn’t win a title or have any champagne (that we know of), but she did recently get naked in the woods for a shower. Her husband snapped a couple pics of the singer getting clean – or is it dirty – and she shared them to her Instagram.
The 43-year-old singer told her nearly 10 million IG followers that she was showering at the lake and her husband, Carey Hart, took the pic: “Lake weekends and a new ridiculous bathing suit. If you haven’t showered outdoors while your husband tries to scare you every five minutes you haven’t lived!!!!
Said ridiculous bathing suit was also on display…
Jalen Rose Sucks At Jeopardy!
You know who else needs a shower? Jalen Rose. Nearly eight months after a horrible Jeopardy! showing, the ESPN blowhard still can’t rid himself of the stench of losing.
And make no mistake, he stunk-stunk. Rose was on Jeopardy! back in October and his performance was about as well-received as his Mount Rushmore take. Rose had -$1,300 when he was heading into Final Jeopardy. At one point, he called New England a state. He answered just four questions correctly.
Why is this relevant in May? Because the TV God’s gifted us a rerun of the fall episode last night, and Twitter went after Rose like Kobe did to him in Toronto back in 2006 (81 points, look it up).
If he ever had time between his $100 haircuts, I’d love to ask Rose about his embarrassing performance. Unfortunately, he’s blocked me on Twitter.
Shame, really. Imagine the conversations Mr. Fab Five and I could have. We could talk about tennis and OnlyFans merging, maybe mix in some Entourage, or even the “Sunday scaries.” Whatever we discussed, it definitely wouldn’t be what his ESPN colleague, Stephen A. Smith and Knicks wing Josh Hart are yapping about.
Watch Out For That Tow Truck
Jalen Rose’s Jeopardy! appearance was a wreck. There’s no arguing that. But, at least it wasn’t quite as bad as this car getting launched off a tow truck in south Georgia. Body cam footage shows an officer responding to a crash scene on highway 84 when a car – that wasn’t involved – mistakenly makes its way up the back of a tow truck and is sent flying at a high rate of speed.
The woman driving the car that was launched survived, but no other information about her condition has been released as of this posting.
Down Goes Springsteen
Also crashing was The Boss, Bruce Springsteen, who hit the deck while on tour this weekend. The 73-year-old was attempting to walk up a few stairs and sing “Ghosts,” when he pulled a Biden and hit the deck. Bruce should’ve known better than to walk the stairs, he was Born to Run.
Kate Hudson Steps Up
Springsteen went down this weekend – who are we kidding, The Boss has been going down for years – which meant someone else had to come up. And it just so happened that Kate Hudson’s number got called, out of nowhere.
The 44-year-old actress came out of the cobwebs Tuesday just long enough to remind everyone that she’s a smokeshow and apparently prefers to swim topless.
And we thank her for that.
Who the hell saw Ms. Kate comin in hot like that on a Tuesday? I sure didn’t.
Upon seeing the boobiful IG post, Hudson’s brother, Oliver, responded like any brother would: “Jesus no Kate!” I say screw Oliver, you do you girl.
Kate looks thirsty and so am I. So it’s time to turn off the lights and refill the glass until next Wednesday. But, as always, I’ll leave you with something to chew on while I’m gone.
*OutKick’s Nightcaps is a daily column that runs weekdays around 4pm EST.
Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF or email me: email@example.com to make fun of Jalen Rose.