Kim Kokonutt Checks In From Canada, Clay Takes The Family To Raw & Raiders Fans Watch MNF From Jail
Boy, it was a shame that Facebook went down, right?
I was sitting here Monday hammering away at Urban Meyer -- no idea how he'll save his marriage over this one -- as the Facebook thing played out and all I kept thinking about was...WHAT ABOUT THE INSTAGRAM MODELS!?! Holy crap that had to be a scare when their Instagram apps wouldn't load and they were left out on an island of despair trying to figure out if this was the end of their influencing empires.
Just think what was going through the heads of women off in Greece loading up their content libraries as the world was experiencing life without Instagram. Imagine the ladies off on excursions to Dubai who would've never seen Dubai if it wasn't for billionaire oil sheikhs who love exotic American blonds, preferably from Los Angeles who like to get loose if you know what I mean.
It had to be a complete meltdown scene in condos around the world where women were left wondering if they'd uploaded their final IGs. I pictured someone at Maxim magazine thinking the print revolution was back and it was time to fire up the presses to pump out some Hometown Hotties.
By the time I started making turkey sandwiches for the kids all had been solved in the world. Grandmas were once again able to brag about how cute their grandkids are. Parents were able to brag about the spectacular vacation they just got back from after being on a pre-back-to-school vacation in August. The wide-brimmed hat community was able to brag about how they have been sitting around campfires instead of working.
Speaking of the wide-brimmed hat thing, I need answers on where that trend started. Which Nashville influencer brought that to the forefront. Now it's impossible to go five minutes scrolling through social media without some mom doing a photoshoot with her six kids, her senior vice president husband and her damn wide-brimmed hat. Now even the husbands -- who probably wear matching flannel pajamas at Christmas with their wives -- are wearing the damn hats like they just rode in on their horse.
Yes, I enjoy the suburban lifestyle my wife and I have created for ourselves, but this whole wide-brimmed hat thing has me completely fired up and trying to avoid going to the local juice bar because it's going to be loaded with women talking vaccines and wearing their damn hats because they saw Allie wearing one on Instagram.
Someone fill me on these damn hats, please: joekinsey@gmail.com
And if your wife is wearing one, please ask her what this fashion trend is all about. Or just have the ladies write in. I know there are plenty of women who read Screencaps. They've emailed me.
• Moving along, oil has hit $78 a barrel. That's right, we have rising oil prices, natural gas prices, Dollar Tree prices, chicken wing prices. Thank god I was able to buy a pile of 2X4s last week at a decent price.
• And here's a topic that's starting to boil up: American's blowing through household earnings to pay mortgage payments.
From Fox Business:
"Supercharged home prices in markets across the country are canceling out the impact of modestly higher incomes and historically low interest rates, two factors that typically make owning a home more affordable. Prices rose at a record pace for the fourth consecutive month in July, driven by a shortage of houses for sale. Higher prices require buyers to take out larger loans, essentially signing them up to make larger mortgage payments each month for years."
Yeah, who didn't see that one coming? Keith over here buying a $650k house on a teacher's salary and a middle manager's salary probably looked good on paper until Keith and his wife had to pay that mortgage for 10 straight months. No thanks. I'll just be over here in my perfect little neighborhood where even the retirees refuse to sell their 2,300 sq. ft. homes.
• Yes, I was sad that the Mannings weren't on last night. I'm wondering if Eli was suspended a week for the double-bird incident.
• Tommy in Destin writes:
This was on the SEC Network.
I’m pretty sure that’s Brian Robinson, but then again I don’t work for a well-funded network.
• Michael in Allons, TN wants to throw out a drink suggestion for the Screencaps community. It's an old classic, but sometimes you just need to keep things simple:
Here’s a cocktail we used to make for tailgating. Easy to fix ahead of time in a jug or pitcher.
Red Headed S!ut Equal parts jager, peach schnapps, and cranberry juice.
• Tony C. down in Kentucky typically writes in with TNML content, but he wants to make sure everyone knows that TODAY is the finals of Fat Bear Week 2021. I recently posted about the fat bears, but lost track of where things stood. It turns out that we have two fat bears that are battling for supremacy.
Today's Katmai National Park & Preserve Finals is a showdown between 480 Otis vs. 151 Walker. I haven't been paying attention to what the numbers mean, but I have to believe that's some sort of tracking number used by the park service.
Anyway, get in there and vote on the fat bears and one bear will stroll off to his den with bragging rights heading into one incredible stretch of sleep.
Tony writes: "Thank you again for consistently delivering the great, amusing, and light-hearted content so many guys of all stripes across America benefit from. As much as I enjoy the stuff you track, I also enjoy reading the stories and messages you share from the screencaps community - glimpses into the triumphs and challenges of real everyday life!"
• Tony's so right about the messages that are shared by readers. It's the backbone to Screencaps. The emailers are our callers. They're our Letters to the Editor. So many sites lecture to their readers. The hell with that. I'd rather learn from the readers because I get a massive smorgasbord of information from all of you. If you want lecturing, there are plenty of blue checkmarks out there who are great at it. Go find them.
Meanwhile, we'll just be here at Screencaps keeping the common man entertained on a daily basis.
• Sean K. writes:
Hey Joe -- sorry this is on the late side but just wanted to add my thoughts and prayers for your dad and his renewed battle with cancer. I also think it is wonderful you are switching things up to head north with him for golf in Michigan and perchance an opportunity to take in a friday night high school football game.
I have no doubts that you've already received offers from folks in the Screencaps community across Michigan eager to host you and your dad. I am sure they will make a Friday night football game a more than memorable experience for you and especially your dad. I am slowly losing my own father to dementia; he's forgotten many of the trips we've taken together. So treasure this time with your dad; you can still share memories and make a few more along the way.
Keep doing what you are doing. So deeply appreciate the sanity break Screencaps provides on a daily (as long as the college football/NFL seasons last of course) basis.
Thanks, Sean. My dad made his final preparations phone call to me on Monday and the only obstacle this week appears to be the Friday forecast. It's going to be wet in northern Michigan. The schedule might have to be tweaked a little bit and we may have to take a DNP on Friday, but we'll make the most of it.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com