Kim Kardashian Dumps Out Even More Content, Bengals Fans Buy Burrow Glasses & Feds Announce Key Fob Bust
It turns out, Screencaps readers really love their minivans
Tuesday, I pleaded with Screencaps Nation® to help me get through this Joe Bidenflation-induced car search that I'm on. My search terms were simple: I need to be able to get to the golf course, the airport & the kids from point A to point B. I don't want to get into a worksite dick-measuring contest with guys and their Dodge Rams. It's unnecessary. I'm a blogger. I drive approximately 25 miles per week in the winter, sometimes more if I suddenly need to leave the area code.
It didn't take long for the Screencaps Minivan Mafia™ to show up in the emails. I forgot to mention that my wife has a minivan, so we're covered there. The common theme from the Minivan Mafia -- Sean K., Tony DeB., etc. -- is that these modern-day grocery getters are so versatile.
Sean K. said he raised three girls, hauled lumber, drywall, bags of mulch, and even took trash to the dump in his minivan.
"I've owned three minivans (2001 Ford Windstar, 2010 Dodge Caravan, 2019 Pacifica) and they are by far the best all-around vehicle for hauling a family & assorted gear on vacations near and far while providing enough interior space for hauling decking material," Sean explained. "I hauled all the drywall for my kitchen remodel in my Caravan. Mine also typically got 22 to 25 mpg on average and never cost as much as an SUV or truck, new or used."
"I'll willingly take the lumps for saying so," Sean added.
I love the passion and the willingness to lay it on the line when Sean knows the Dick-Measuring Blue Collar Truck Gang™ is reading Screencaps.
Like Texas Chili and so many other topics over the last few months, you guys delivered. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this community is absolutely locked in with incredible suggestions. I know there are others out there in the same boat. You don't need a $50k vehicle. You just want to go about life without a house payment in the driveway.
• Tony DeB. in Cincy is on the same page as Sean K.:
Minivan, Joe, just accept it. Every family needs one (unless your wife already has one). It offers more function and cargo space than these fancy third-row SUVs or pickup trucks that other people spend twice as much on, just so they don’t have to say they own a minivan. You won’t regret it.
• Jim M. in West Lafayette, IN offers up a suggestion & says it's best to hang tight:
The car for you?
The one you currently own. Unless you are facing significant repair bills or have a very specific need, keep what you have. Spend a bit to keep it running or spruce it up a bit if you have a mechanic you can trust. I've got an old Chevy Tahoe (2009) with over 300,000 miles and I know a good, reasonably priced mechanic. I may clean up a few surface rough spots and put new headlights in it. Better than a new $500 a month care payment for 7 years on something I will be able to buy for a lot less in a few years after Bidenomics is in the rearview mirror.
• Jason E. says there's a truck on the market to consider - the Ford Maverick:
First-time writer, long-ish-time reader. You asked what kind of vehicle makes sense and won't break the bank? You may want to check out the new Ford Maverick.
https://www.ford.com/trucks/maverick/
It's a return of the small truck, think the old Chevy S-10 or old-school Ford Ranger. It's new, inexpensive, and gets pretty good gas mileage. It also had a dedicated community like Screencaps.
https://www.mavericktruckclub.com
I don't have one, but I have been wanting once since Ford announced it last year. If you get one, I'd love to read your review of it. Anyway, thanks for the free entertainment.
• Chris B.'s suggestion:
Here’s all you need, Joe — comfy, drives okay (and forever), good with gas, big enough trunk for some golf bags. You can stack your extra cash on top for the dick-measuring contest.
https://www.carvana.com/vehicle/1948528
• Kevin F. in Naples, FL is trying to get me into a Jeep that was probably made up I-75 from where I live:
I suggest you get a Jeep Grand Cherokee 4x4. Back when I lived in New England, it's the best vehicle in the snow, a comfortable ride, and you can't kill them.
In 2013, we inherited a 2002 Grand Cherokee from my inlaws. The SUV went through my 2 kids, then when I moved to FL, I gave it to one of my good friends and it's been handed down to 2 of his kids. When I visited him in the fall, there it was, in his yard. Of course you have to dump some money into a 20 year old vehicle now and then, but it still runs, it's still dependable.
• David P. wants to offer up a truck suggestion without forcing me into a dick-measuring contest:
Check out car and driver.com, scroll down to Editor’s choice 2021 then scroll to best midsize pickup truck—the winner was Honda Ridgeline. With good reason! I’ve had a Ridgeline for a few months—a 2017 model that had only 25K miles on it.
I like it better than my old F150 that I drove for 11 years and Nissan Titan I had for 6 years. The bed on the Ridgeline is only 2 inches shorter / narrower than the Titan. And I can reach the tie-down things in the bed easily, which I couldn’t either of the other trucks (I’m 6’3”). The trunk in the bed is a hoot, way larger than I expected, doubles as a cooler (with drain plug), and keeps the spare tire clean. Here in Wisconsin, I find the AWD preferable to 4WD on snowy roads.
My wife doesn’t complain about riding in the Ridgeline like she did the other two because it rides like a car; but it has about the same load capacity my Titan did. I actually feel almost sorry for the guys I see riding in their big MANLY pickups, hauling nothing but air 99% of the time, rough ride, and poor mileage (I get 23.5). This is the best vehicle I’ve ever had, period.
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Now it's time for my wife and I to figure out how we attack Bidenflation and a car search knowing that gas is heading over $4/gallon this spring. I know one thing, there are going to be many garage & basement beers sacrificed during this search as I analyze all angles before making a decision.
• Let's move along to a message from Indy Daryl, founder of 'Do Hard Things,' as he navigates through January:
I must confess, I didn’t know there was such a divide in this country over chili. Growing up in Colorado, chili usually had beans in it, but I guess I didn’t really put attention to when it didn’t. Funny story, in our house my mom always bought a bunch of hatch chili peppers in the summer and froze them with the sole goal of making Green Chili throughout the winter! Does that count as chili? Where does that fall? Just thinking about it, the falling apart chicken, the white beans, and the delicious toppings (sour cream and mozerella) makes my mouth water!
Two other things:
• Indy Daryl sent a follow-up email with this message:
There is this great thing about the time before smartphones and I do declare I love looking at actual, old photos. I mentioned in my email about my dad and I sky diving on my 18th bday. I remembered that I had a ton of photos from the event, and here ya go. This is me on my 18th birthday about to go sky diving with my dad. Me on my jump. The. My dad and I holding hands during it!! I will never forget it!
• Our resident referee Michael F. (D1 college football ref) is back with an official explanation on how the Bengals didn't end up with a safety on Derek Carr:
Glad to see your Bengals had a better weekend than my Pats did. All I’ve got left for the playoffs now is watching the officials!
Anyway, wanted to chime in on Sean K’s note regarding the possible safety-that-wasn’t - I think I found the play he referenced (it was the first play of the second quarter, 3rd & 4 from the LV 8) and it’s definitely not a safety.
On a play of this nature, the line of scrimmage officials are hyper-aware that the goal line is in play, and being that close to it, will have responsibility for determining if the ball is dead behind the line after the play. There are two items to look for during the play: one, does the ball carrier (in this case, the QB) carry the ball on his own fully into the end zone? That means you clearly have to see daylight between the entire player (and the ball) and the goal line. If so, we go to two: if the ball carrier is tackled after fully entering the end zone as above, does he get the ball fully out of the end zone before he is brought down?
On this particular play, the QB takes the snap between the 3 and 4 yard lines and drops back to just inside the 1 yard line. At this point he never moves back again on his own - he is overcome by the wave collapsing the pocket and is tackled. The LOS officials correctly read a drop-back pass, and hold their position. While the tackle takes him backward, he did not enter the end zone on his own. The covering official sees this and marks his spot at the 1 yard line, which is correct. If this were not a drop-back pass, or the QB had started scrambling, one of the sideline officials would have moved off the original line of scrimmage and on to the goal line to have information on the QB’s position relative to the goal line.
Finally, in regards to your reply, “ refs are hellbent on giving…the benefit of the doubt with forward progress, especially out of the endzone.” In short, you’re absolutely right, and two of our axioms are simple in regards to this - “No cheap points” and “no cheap turnovers”. A safety falls under both the points and turnover categories, so we’re especially sensitive to the fact that it has to be absolutely clear the ball carrier is in the end zone and he brought the ball in himself. If there’s doubt, he’s out. Replay is a good backstop for us in this situation, but those axioms hold doubly true for games that do not have replay or don’t have the 36 camera angles available to NFL crews.
Anyway, hope this helps, and good luck to your guys the rest of the way.
• Sean C. writes:
The last 2 years have been interesting for me. After 6 years of regular travel, I've been in an office more than I have been in 15 years. What that has done is created routines for me and my colleagues. One of those has definitely been screepcaps. I've gotten several people in the office on board and they all enjoy it.
About a half-hour after my daily reading of screencaps this morning, I hear an exclamation from "Other Sean" in the office. He said "Joe finally showed my girl!". While I think Kim Kardashian has likely hit screencaps before, it may not have been since "Other Sean" has started his mission of replying to group texts with a different Kim K gif every time. He said he wants to see how long he can go while never using a duplicate Kim K gif. This has gone on for at least a couple months, and dozens of gifs.
As this mission started, I laughed. But what was confirmed to me today was that what started as a joke has turned into a full-on obsession. I guess it's a version of Stockholm Syndrome. I just wanted you to know how far-reaching your Screecaps have gone.
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'Other Sean' is in luck because his girl has made it into Screencaps on back-to-back days. It appears her content bucket is full and it's time to dump out that content. I never used to include Kim in Caps because I just assumed the Screencaps hounds already saw her latest work on Instagram. Then I posted my email and I quickly learned how many people out there have axed all social media or never had it in the first place.
That led me to posting Kim. And the traffic numbers tell me all I need to know -- Kim moves the needle.
• Marty M. is about to start a war around here, especially with Tim L. in Texas. Buckle up for the first two lines from this email!
Well, I figure I better chime in on a few topics here. First of all, I have nothing against Texas, but they think their way is the only way on pretty much everything. We will keep making our wonderful chili with beans, and they can keep making their hot dog topping.
Second, I don't want to hear any cowboy fan complain about the refs. They played terrible and had 14 penalties, come on. The problem is that the NFL needs to make their refs a full time job, pay them good and do off-season training programs with them. The damn league is worth billions and they'd rather spend money on these terrible social justice commercials than fixing a big problem with their product. By the way, the worst call of the weekend was the roughing the passer call on Carr during the final drive of the Bengals game.
When it comes to you searching for a vehicle, I feel your pain. I've been looking for a good used pickup truck with less than 50,000 miles and they are very high like everything else. I just can't pull the trigger on paying that much for a used vehicle right now, but I would recommend using CarGurus or Auto Trader. You can do a pretty detailed search, and there are still some pretty good deals out there, just might have to drive a little distance to get it. Last thing, these idiots who get in fights in the stands during games are pathetic.
I attended the Auburn at LSU game this year, as well as Navy at Notre Dame, glad I didn't see anything like that. Thanks again for bringing me some joy while I'm at work every day, hope you're able to enjoy the Bengals game this weekend.
• That should be enough material for today. This post is like 3,000 words. Let's get out of here and get the day rolling. Don't worry if your email didn't make it in today. I have you loaded into Thursday's post.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com