Here I am all set to go tee off in a charity golf tournament this afternoon and one of you has to go and Tweet me a link to a bunch of preppy white dudes in pastels and jackets getting in a brawl on the Kentucky Oaks infield.
It’s not quite the bikini beach catfight, but this fight video has everything you could want in a guy’s horse race fight.
My five favorite things from this video:
1. Dude fighting in his sport coat with it still buttoned.
This is pure class, exactly how a drunk gentleman on the Kentucky Oaks fights. He gets his jacket ripped in the back, but if you see him from the front you have no idea he was out here like Arthur Dayne just fighting dudes four on one.
2. I also love that a couple of dudes seem to throw punches and then just slide back into the pastel fight circle.
No way you can ever find them again. “I’m looking for a white dude in pastels, he was just here throwing punches at me.” Good luck. There are thousands of white dudes in pastels, who knows where he is.
3. The pastel circle formation.
Seriously, is there anything better than a huge collection of people in pastels naturally forming a fight circle?
And look at how many hot chicks in sundresses there are on the front row watching.
There’s no doubt that if you win the frat brawl you get to star in an orgy post-race.
Also, how about the Vineyard Vines product placement? Too good to be true.
4. The wild haymaker swing from the dude in the pink shirt and blue pants directed at sport coat.
I mean, he put everything into that punch, but then he slipped on the mud and…
5. Sport coat delivering the perfectly executed kick.
Did you hear the crowd reaction when this kick lands? Is this kicked kid dead? He doesn’t move again.
I haven’t seen a kick this powerful since Karate Kid 1. Somewhere Johnny’s nose just started to bleed all over again.
This is why having boys is terrifying, you send them off to watch a horse race in their pastel clothes and next thing you know they die after getting Cobra Kai kicked in a pastel-infused infield brawl.
I’ve got to go participate in a charity golf event now, but there have to be more camera angles of this brawl. We need them.