Kentucky Man Pumps Lead Into His Roommate Who Ate The Last Hot Pocket, Police Allege

How is this even a crime in Kentucky?

Louisville police arrested Clifton Williams, 64, over the weekend on a felony assault charge after the old-timer got into it with his roommate, who was accused of eating the last Hot Pocket, and was promptly shot in the ass for his crime against humanity.

According to the police report obtained by The Smoking Gun (yes, they're still going strong), Williams started "throwing tiles" at the victim who then tried to fight back by attempting to "beat his ass" as the war between these two escalated.

That's when things really heated up. Cops say Williams pulled out his piece and it was go-time.

Clifton Williams, 64, was arrested for shooting his roommate over an eaten Hot Pocket. Getty Images / Louisville Police Department / The Smoking Gun

The victim bolts to get out of the property. "Don't shoot," the victim allegedly yells at Williams, who then "shot him in the ass while he was trying to leave."

Hot Pocket street justice!

Allegedly.

All of this went down at around 8:38 p.m. on Saturday night. Just think of how Clifton blew a gasket when he woke up from a Saturday night nap really craving that Hot Pocket only to learn it was gone and his roommate had (allegedly) eaten it.

Instant fight.

You either have to stand your ground or the roommate is going to continue this behavior. Clifton drew a line in the sand and, yes, it could come with a felonious assault charge on his record, but you have to believe the roomie won't pull such a stunt again.

While we're at it, let's not forget when comedian Jim Gaffigan had a Hot Pocket bit in his standup routine.

"I'm moving a little slow tonight. I had a Hot Pocket for dinner," Gaffigan said during a performance way back in the early 2010s. "Good to see I'm not the only white trash here," he deadpanned after the crowd cheered his Hot Pocket line.