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A brilliant Kentucky fan has taken to Craig’s List to snag tickets to the Final Four.
How’s he going to do it?
Quoth the always reliable Craig’s List:
“I am a UK fan wanting to go to the Final Four in N’Oleans. I have put up my wife as collateral. She can make you speak 5 languages you never knew you could speak. I am not feeling my best so I have to use my sexy mama to get me to the game.
She is completely game, is a litte picky, but if you make her howl at the moon while making her speak portugese or something I don’t get out of her then by all means…..have at it and let me see my UK Wildcats!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes it is bad to do this, but it the Kentucky faithful dammit. Look out for the Bluegrass State and hook this pimp up okay?”
Hoook up a pimp, indeed.
Considering this ad originates from Charlotte, home of angry North Carolina teams left out of the Final Four, is this ad probably fake?
But would it surprise anyone if a Kentucky fan was willing to do this for tickets?
Unfortunately, it’s a pretty bad deal.
Final Four tickets are never difficult to come by. That’s because going to the Final Four inside a dome sucks. There are many more tickets available for these events than there are fans willing to pay high prices.
Right now you can buy tickets on StubHub for $209 on Saturday, the doubleheader gameday, and for as low as $70 on Monday.
So is the sexual consort of your wife worth at least $279?
We asked CNBC sports business reporter Darren Rovell to break down the deal.
“From a business perspective this makes no sense. It’s not that tough of a ticket,” Rovell said.
Especially since, in my experience, tickets typically cost half as much on site as they do on StubHub.
But you’ve got to support the team.
Other things that Kentucky fans are attempting to barter for Final Four tickets:
1. John Calipari’s UMASS and Memphis Final Four banners.
3. Backup forward Eloy Vargas.
4. Rick Pitino autographed team programs from 1995.
5. Burning chair embers.
I’m not surprised that someone burned a chair when UK advanced to the Final Four, I’m surprised that so many people stood and watched the chair burn.
6. Sister wives.
7. Glamour shot photos of the wife, the poodle, and the man of the house.
8. This radical wildcat dunking a basketball that has been stuffed and was previously offered for $1000 on Craig’s List.
9. One woman? How about the hottie Kentucky twins?
10. Fifty six different versions of the UK2K shirts.
Special bonus: this shirt too.
Not included on the shirt but clearly implied: “Where you can sleep with my wife while I watch the game, bitch!”