Keeley Hazell & Jason Sudeikis Visit Cabo, Aaron Donald Throat Gouge, Plus SEC Sorority Girls React To Pumpkin Spice Shortage

The Dark Ages are here for football fans in NE Ohio

Imagine waking up as a Browns and Ohio State fan this morning after a week of vacation, eating 5k calories per day, drinking 10k calories, staying up late, and getting zero exercise.

Thank god I'm not one of those guys. It was hard enough, as a Buckeyes fan, to see Saturday's disaster on a cold, snowy afternoon in Ann Arbor. My Bengals saved the weekend from a complete disaster.

And since sports fans are completely irrational, we head towards December with Michigan fans thinking their program is completely back from the Dark Ages. Never mind the fact that Harbaugh has one bowl win, the same number of wins over Ohio State as Brady Hoke and one less than John Cooper, whose first win in the series came in his 7th season, the same as Harbaugh.

Irrational Ohio State fans think the ship is sinking. Ohio State observers in their 40s & up who suffered through the Cooper years think the rivalry is fully back after Michigan's first win since 2011.

Let's say there's been a reset. Ohio State suffered just its third loss in the rivalry since 2000 and the 2011 win was over a Buckeyes team that finished 6-7. I sat in a tent with Michigan fans outside the stadium. I understand why they were so emotional after the win -- they've barely felt this happiness in their adult lives.

Michigan now enters new territory where they have to figure out how to forget about beating Ohio State and shift its attention to beating Iowa, who has won four in a row to get into the Big Ten title game. If you're back & it's your year, you can't be choking against Iowa with everything on the line.

While it's not a true road game, Harbaugh is 3-9 vs. top 25 teams away from Michigan Stadium.

• If you're a Steelers fan hoping to see Big Ben one more time before his career ends, you better hurry up after Sunday's game in Cincinnati where he couldn't throw a ball more than eight yards. This week's late afternoon game against the Ravens feels like it could be the official end, if he even plays.

This is clearly an Old Yeller-type situation.

• Clay's Titans still have the easiest remaining schedule in the NFL, yet they're on a two-game losing streak and doing their best to choke away home-field advantage. Yes, a loss at New England wasn't an upset, but the way it happened has to be very concerning. Four turnovers after going for 270 rushing yards and losing 36-13 is about as ugly as it gets.

• I have very bad news for Browns fans who think they have a pulse entering December. Your team has the NFL's hardest remaining schedule. Say goodnight, it's over for 2021.

• Mike in Pasadena sent me a full report from his exotic-wood purchasing trip to Germany.

Checking in from the lounge @ Copenhagen airport en route back to LA.  Read ScreenCaps daily,  IG game is still real strong !  Glad you had a good visit to Florida and Disney - I guarantee the kids will never forget it. 

I agree completely with Sean K. and the other members of the community about what we’re thankful for.  I’d like to add that carrying a passport that says “United States of America” through European airports is a privilege and one that I never take for granted. It is unquestionably the Gold Standard by which all freedom-loving nations should strive for.

Further to Sean K.’s mention of the “Bog Oak” I’m very familiar with this species,  I had a log that we carbon dated, and it came back at over 4,000 yrs. old!  All preserved and in perfect “wood condition”.

The buying trip was a success,  won’t bore you with a list of names but I’ll add a pic or 2. 

• Jake in Charlottesville, VA is ready to do some Christmas shopping and could use some suggestions in the towel & women's pajama department. Someone help out this guy. I'd just tell him to go to Costco, but there's probably a better answer out there from experts in these fields.

Jake writes:

The other day you were mentioning wanting feedback from the community on discussion topics. Well, front of mind now that we’re passed Thanksgiving is Christmas, and more specifically, what items to buy the ‘selective’ wife in your life. I’ve swung and missed now on two watches (birthday was in May, said she liked the ‘idea’ of it, but not what I bought; she told me pretty much exactly what she did want, so I bought it for her for our anniversary in October, at which point her opinions on the matter had changed). For Christmas, she’s going to buy what she wants, then I’m going to wrap it and she’s going to open it in front of me and the kids. So that’s one gift out of the way that I don’t even have to think about.

Now though I’m seeking help from the Screencaps Community. She’s also asked for pajamas, which is also something that I’ve now bought a couple times with mixed results. My go-to throughout our relationship has been Victoria’s Secret, first for the garments partially responsible for my children, and now that we’re in a more ‘mature' part of the marriage, for pajamas. However, apparently, their sizing is all wrong. In most everything, she’s a medium (she’s 5’ 8”, but with the arms of an NBA center), but apparently medium with VS is still too big. I’m looking to change up the game here. She’s going to want some warm, but that can also be, ahem, removed without a huge production (i.e., no bulky sweatsuits, which seem to be popular for some reason). Also, with VS’s turn towards the woke, I’m not real keen on giving them any more of my money.

The other area where I’m thinking we as a family need to step up our game is in the towel department. We recently went for a long weekend getaway, and we rented a very inexpensive house out in the country. This place was very minimal, but it still absolutely destroyed our household when it came to comfortable towels. I don’t think we’ve bought a single new towel in at least the last decade, and I’m feeling like it’s starting to be noticeable. I’m kind of embarrassed now to have guests over who might use one of our towels. I want to make a significant investment in this area this Christmas. I’m talking whatever it takes to get some five-star hotel-rated towels in my domicile. Any suggestions the Screencaps community might have in this area would be very much appreciated.

• Doug in Omaha writes:

Joe, you know I love you and what you do, but I grew up in Northern Indiana cheering on Big Blue and I am so excited not to see the meme you like to post about twice a month letting me know how long it has been since Michigan beat the Buckeyes.

Well, now it has been 729 days since Ohio State has beaten Michigan.

This one is going to feel good for a long time, probably at least until TNML starts up full swing again.  Happy Holidays!

• Finally this morning, look what Dave in Rhode Island was up to over the weekend:

A happy belated T-Giving, sounds like you had a great time down in sunny FL! We were "stuck" here in grey and cold New England, but it didn't stop my dad and I from having an epic father/son day today. 

As I've mentioned, the striped bass fishing up here in RI is still going pretty strong if you know where to look.  We found them today.

My 75yo dad and 50yo self had an absolute blast in the cold rain picking up fifteen bass and a couple of other species - you will recall this is my dad/Rob in NC's dad Tom from CT - aka "BH" or Big Head!  Epic fishing and a day we will not ever forget.  Super lucky.

• And with that, let's get the week rolling. We have college coaches coming and going, a new 'VID variant that's going to be shoved down your throat and it's the final week of leaf pickup. In other words, it's going to be a busy one around here.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.