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Just Checking: Man Asks Police To Verify Authenticity Of His Meth

A meth head feared he had been dealt a bill of goods, so he did what any responsible drug user would do — he called police and asked them to verify the authenticity of his score. After all, if he were dealt some crappy crank, someone should be held accountable!

The Walter White wannabe is a native Floridian. Because of course he is.

Last Thursday, Thomas Colucci called 9-1-1 to ask police to “test the methamphetamine” he had recently purchased. The Hernando County (Fl.) Sheriff’s Department shared the news via their Facebook page.

Colucci’s call to police came after he had purchased methamphetamine from a man at a local bar, used some of the drugs, and didn’t feel the usual rush he had enjoyed with previous dances with the devil. Colucci, who’s nobody’s fool, told police he suspected he had been sold bath salts.

If that were the case, maybe a trip to Bed, Bath And Beyond would’ve saved him some trouble.

Per Hernando County Sheriff’s Department, Colucci handed police officers two small bags of crystal-like substances. He then told deputies he wanted his methamphetamine tested, as he did not want other people to purchase “fake” methamphetamine from the individual who sold it to him.

Colucci is just looking out for others. Not all heroes wear capes.

In yet another act of heroism, Colucci asked deputies to “put the person in trouble” for selling dangerous drugs. That would’ve been easier for deputies to do, had Colucci had a name or contact information for the dealer. Unfortunately, he didn’t.

To Colucci’s surprise and relief, police did test his crystals and…Voila! It was, in fact, meth!

Moments later, Colucci was placed under arrest and charged with possession of methamphetamine and two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia. His bond was set at $7,000.

Let that be a lesson for all you kids out there questioning the authenticity of your recent drug purchases. Not only will police happily test your product, they’ll also provide you with a bed, jumpsuit and roommate, free of charge.

 

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF

 

Written by Anthony Farris

Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival.

Follow him on twitter @OhioAF

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