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Julia Roberts Hits The Beach, Dabo & Matt Campbell Share A Ride, Plus Ian Book’s Terrifying Night

Videos by OutKick

It was one of those magical blogging nights

As I’ve told you guys many, many times, I’ve had a long blogging career where I’ve found myself embedded in some of the biggest Internet stories of the last 12-14 years. I was online late one night in 2009 when a blogger friend of mine said he’d found what he thought were Erin Andrews peephole videos that had been uploaded to some video-storing website deep into the web. I remember the guy who tipped me off to Rex Ryan’s feet videos while I was sitting at my newspaper day job.

I vividly remember the RG3 wedding eve drama (his first marriage) that had my email inbox lit up. I’ll never forget the big ones.

Monday was a very similar day because we had the Delta Airlines ‘Karen’ who slapped and spit on the old man turning out to be a former Playboy model and actress who had parts on Married With Children and Baywatch. Delta ‘Karen’ won’t be anywhere near as earth-shattering as those other stories were for their time, but it’s one of those Internet stories with so many layers that it can carry a website for weeks.

Patricia Cornwall, the lady charged with assaulting the old man on the Delta flight, has left the Internet with a treasure trove of content from her 20s when she was in bikinis or naked for Hef’s entertainment empire.

And she’s flat-out nuts. Multiple arrests over the last year. Typically this is all the ingredients for an absolute pageview explosion. Clicks on clicks. Clicks, clicks, clicks from you maniacs.

The Big Js shun this type of work. It’s beneath them and their hunt for Pulitzers. They want to stick a railroad spike through a politician’s nuts with some enterprise reporting which will then lead to recurring appearances on the lib-lib cable networks until they get too old and worn for those two channels which then leads to appearances on PBS’ NewsHour.

Not me.

I’m fueled by former Baywatch actresses (I have a copy of Patty’s appearance in a bikini contest judged by the Hof coming up later this morning) being charged with a federal crime after being hauled in by the FBI. We’re talking about a woman who took it off for Playboy spending Christmas in jail because she couldn’t just shut up.

These are the stories that keep the awards rolling in from the OutKick community like the ‘MVB’ award that Dave C. in South Carolina is sending to me (should be here by tomorrow so I can hang it under my Pizza Hut All-American Experience photo where I was sitting with Tom Osborne, Joe Carter, Jay Williams and more all-time great athletes).

Never forget what I stand for while the Big Js are out hunting those Pulitzers. The first line here is very important:

I’m not trying to impress some future employer by doing things the corporate way. I’m not moving to Nashville. I was offered years ago to move to New York City for a media job. No thanks.

This is my happy place where I can just bust my ass to work for the readers and have fun in the process. Name another place where Instagram models mix with dogs making meth busts and beautiful double cheeseburgers. You can’t!

I look at the Screencaps community as people walking down the street while I’m working in the yard. They like to stop and chat about random things like when the leaf vacuum will be making its final trip through the neighborhood.

My goal is to build a community here of people I’d want to stop by for garage beers, and we’re doing this in record time. Screencaps is an absolute beast and it’s because you guys understand the goal here and you’ve embraced the project.”

The story of Patty Cornwall will fade by the end of the week, but she has provided us Internet guys with the perfect Internet story to close out 2021. Couldn’t have scripted it any better.

• Guy G. has a confession…he’s one of those guys…one of those bourbon bros I was talking about last week:

I might be a Bourbon-bro. Whoops! Quick recommendation….against everything thing that I feel is right…Woodinville! They got me with marketing, and turns out, they just won the 3rd best bourbon in the world. At $50 a bottle, worth getting. And not hard to find!

Really touching base today to get myself on track for TNGL, and this should hold me accountable. Wife came through with a new setup to add to my grill area. A Kudu grill, with a bunch of accessories. Spit, smoke dome and cast iron dutch oven. I’ll be firing it up a couple times this week, as we have reasonably warm weather here in NY.

• Speaking of Hef, Dana B. wanted to make sure I saw the story about Darren Rovell buying a bottle of Hef’s old Viagara.

https://nypost.com/2021/12/23/darren-rovell-bought-an-authentic-hugh-hefner-viagra-pill-bottle/

HO HO HO!! WOW, WHAT?

####

Never forget that Rovell is playing a character and in order to keep that character fueled up and making headlines, Rovell has that character buy crazy items that will get people emotional and tell him that he’s a moron. Remember when people bought burnt toast with Jesus images? That’s what Rovell is doing here. He’s buying items that will turn into content, create buzz and then fuel the algorithm which keeps him important.

And I’m not totally against it. I used to buy wedding gifts for athletes so they’d send me wedding gift thank you notes because that’s a one-of-one item that collectors can’t just get their hands on via the Target baseball card aisle.

Speaking of those thank yous, I need to frame those for the basement. Make them a conversation piece. I have one from Kim Kardashian (I sent a napkin when she married Kris Humphries), or one of her assistants, thanking me so much for sending a gift.

Moral of the story: Rovell just wants to stay relevant. It’s his bit.

• Remember, there are FIVE bowl games on today and they have yet to be canceled. Embrace the action, including the 10:15 kickoff featuring West Virginia and Minnesota. Soon it will all be gone and you’ll be left with the countdown to the end of Coach K’s career.

• Finally this morning, I’d probably get *jacked* like ARod, too, if I was worth $200 billion and handed over 20 million Amazon shares in a divorce. Jeff living the bad boy lifestyle with the Lamborghini girlfriend and all the trappings of being worth $200 billion makes me wonder how I’d live in his shoes.

I wonder about what I’d eat. Would Crock Pot chicken and noodles over mashed potatoes still sound good when you’re worth $200 billion? Would I care that there was security around 24/7 and there was typically very little private time? Or would I be more satisfied to have a Michael Jordan level of money. It almost seems like Bezos’ level of cash is a huge pain in the ass.

How much cash does this guy carry in his wallet? Does he have a bagman that hands out $100s & Amazon Echos to keep waiters happy?

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

4 Comments

Leave a Reply
  1. I implore you to initiate a Samsonite Warning on all Screencaps that include women of a certain age (Roberts or Stewart or any of the other half dozen or so 50+ ladies you push upon us).

    Just put it right at the beginning so we can prepare our expectations.

    Thank you,
    -America

  2. I joined Outkick because of Screencaps (and balls, tbh. Felt the need to comment on occasion….). I read several other articles, but this is the only one that has me coming here daily.
    I appreciate feeling your excitement regarding your outing of “Karen”. It’s obvious from what you post what you’re passionate about; however, i’ve never felt the enthusiasm as i did in your opening today.
    Congrats on your success, and I look forward to more!!

  3. Awesome work, Joe. It is amazing, however, how cruel aging is. Julia is beautiful, but there is no getting around she’s almost 60, and has an almost 60, old lady butt, and a sag. So do I. There is no getting around aging. Especially when followed by the 20 somethings!! But, God bless Screencaps. You keep bringing the dazzle every day!! Happy Holidays!!

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