Joe Kinsey
Videos by OutKick
Do you have $198,887,875 laying around? Did you hit a big MegaMillions and want to spend pretty much all of it on one big purchase? Jaguars owner Shad Khan has just the toy you’re looking for in the form of his 312-foot, 16-guest, 28-crewmember yacht that will have you rolling up to all the big boating events in the Gulf and on Lake Erie in style.
The Kismet has a “master stateroom featuring a private deck complete with a Jacuzzi and access to the yacht’s helipad,” according to Moran Yacht & Ship. “Other features included a spacious sundeck complete with a swimming pool, full-service spa, and a one-of-a-kind retractable outdoor fireplace.”
Let me put it to you this way. Your friends won’t have one of these. There will be no more gatherings in your neighborhood when people drink White Claws and brag about their new Lexus SUVs. Trust me, the wives in the neighborhood will know you bought the yacht before the ink dries. They’ll smell it out. The luxury. The Saturdays on the Atlantic. The fruit cups on the sundecks (plural). These suburban wives be dropping so many BFF posts about your wife on Facebook that she’ll get tired of seeing her name referenced with BFF.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Why in the world would someone who can afford a $200M yacht stay in the old neighborhood after hitting the MegaMillions? Because there’s no reason to make new rich friends who all have a bunch of money. Your boys Jeff and Tim down the street will still offer you a Natty out of the garage fridge just like the pre-Mega days when you pop in after mowing the grass.
Then, on Saturdays, Jeff, Tim and their jealous wives meet you at the marina on Friday night to take the yacht out for a two-night bender. Katelynn & Katrina will go off with your wife to shower her with admiration while you and the guys crush Dixie Vodka and reminisce about the old days when obtaining a Golden Tee home edition was the ultimate life goal.
I can’t really afford this on my own, but I’ll go halfsies with someone.
I will wait until the price of the boat drops about $100,000 then I will put a serious bid for it. Looking like this is my year!
I look forward to getting twisted mid Atlantic and telling someone your fired.
Looks a lot like the yacht I purchased in GTA V. Without the helicopter on the deck and the constant warfare surrounding it, of course
U can stay in the old neighborhood for a minute. Until u take off for that “charity golf tournament” the same weekend Tim’s wife, Katrina, has that “bachelorette party” weekend in “Vegas” for the girlfriend from work that Tim has never met. When Tim finds out because Katrina no longer thinks Tim and his 2 jet skis are cool anymore and she wants more weekends burnin smores in that volcanic fire pit and envisions sunbathing on her personal Royal Carribean cruiseliner, she’s going to tell Tim she wants out. Tim’s gonna roll on you and tell ur old lady. The neighborhood is gonna be shook up. No more block parties or natties with the boys. Persona non grata on FB. Houses for sale. Kids depressed. Jeff wont talk to you because you betrayed Tim. And he’s always been jealous as f-ck about ur yacht anyways and talked shit about you and hated you in private, knowing deep down his old lady probably wanted to roll with you on a weekend trip. Just kidding. Nothing like this would ever happen.
Fruit cups, ha! I like everything about this ship except the name.
Talk about working remotely. I would simply live here full time. One could manage one’s empire from the lap of luxury and bring “friends” in via ‘copter. By the same token there’s no reason you can’t take the chopper to anywhere on land and still make the scene at all the right social functions. I highly recommend it for any one who has the means.