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It’s good to be Jerry Jones this week.
The loaded old horndog saw his Dallas Cowboys get a playoff win — its first since the 2018 playoffs — and now the 80-year-old billionaire is a win over Brock Purdy away from playing in the NFC title game for the first time since the 1995 season. Oh, and his massive 358-foot, $225 million yacht Bravo Eugenia is being spotted in Miami looking absolutely stunning and ready to host celebrations.
Super Bowl celebrations, perhaps?
According to Front Office Sports, the Eugenia was recently spotted in St. Maarten going through a maintenance routine, but now this beast is sitting in the Miami waters just waiting for action, which it probably did after Monday night’s victory over Tampa Bay.
This boat, as you can see is insane. It features seven guest cabins, 15 cabins for the crew and is ranked as the 41st largest yacht in the world. The Eugenia is so large that it takes 30 staff members to keep it running like a well-oiled billionaire needs it to run. With a range of 4,500 nautical miles, Jerry can make runs to pretty much anywhere in the world.
But TikTok wants to know about one key feature.
“Where’s the plank for the kicker?” one TikTok observer noted after Jerry’s placekicker Brett Maher missed four extra points in Monday’s 31-14 win over Tampa.
“Maybe he should take some of his money and hire a coach to teach his place kicker how to successfully negotiate and make a PAT,” another hater joked.
From the look of things, Jerry’s yacht is headed up to West Palm Beach and just past Donald Trump’s pad in Mar-a-Lago. You’re darn right I’m thinking what you’re thinking: Jerry has his eyes set on his yacht docking in either Philly for the NFC title game.
Now we wait and see how far north the Cowboys owner runs it before Sunday’s game. Jacksonville seems like the best stopping point this week.