An i-Team at KCCI in Des Moines, Iowa, announced this week — in an exclusive! — that it had uncovered a drug test that revealed a winning horse during a race in May tested positive for meth and has had its winning stripped from that race.
It doesn’t get much more local Emmy award-winning than digging up the major news that the horse, named Drag Malibu, was high on meth during a May 29 race and ran its ass off to a big win over horses that weren’t blazed out of their minds on meth.
“The horse had trace amounts of methamphetamine in his body when the horse ran in the race,” Brian Ohorilko from the Iowa Racing and Gaming Commission told KCCI’s i-Team as this investigation went deeper and deeper into the use of meth by horses to gain an upper hand in this sport.
You’re probably wondering how this Drag Malibu horse smoked meth before his big race.
It turns out a groom, Jason Brooks, is responsible for taking care of Drag Malibu in the horse barn, had been dabbling in the gak and then put his hands on a tongue tie, which was then put on the horse and one thing leads to another and Drag Malibu is HIGH AF and dominating horse races like an absolute savage who is ready to run through a brick wall for his jockey.
Again, the animal rights people can relax. Nobody gave Drag Malibu meth to smoke. He’s not some junkie on the side of a San Francisco street smoking meth and turning tricks for his next fix. This was a one-time deal, according to KCCI’s lead investigator.
In fact, race officials are so certain that Drag Malibu isn’t a complete burnout junkie that the horse track vet has cleared the horse to resume racing but it will go on a “must pass a Commission-approved exam” list. The owner was suspended for 15 days and fined $1,000 for his groom’s actions.
This meth’d up horse thing might seem like it’s a new phenomenon, but it really isn’t. In New Zealand, a horse and trainer tested positive for meth after winning a January 5 race and taking home nearly $7,000. It turned out the trainer was a “habitual” meth user and she inadvertently gave the horse the performance enhancer.
In 2016, an appropriately named horse Party Till Dawn placed second in a race and also tested positive for meth. That same year, five racehorses in Texas were forced to forfeit races they’d won after testing positive for meth.
Place your bets accordingly, gamblers. Look into those horse eyes and check for rapid breathing. You just might have yourself a dark horse thanks to a little ice.