In Love Letter, Barack Obama Tells Ex, ‘I Make Love To Men Daily, But In The Imagination’

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In a 1982 love letter to an ex-girlfriend, Barack Obama wrote about what was going on in his mind and how he was “mak[ing] love to men daily, but in the imagination,” according to a portion of the letter released to the New York Post.

The letter has been known about for years, but it recently became a hot conversation again after Obama biographer David Garrow told Tablet that the former president is “actually just as insecure as Trump, but in ways that are not readily perceived by the vast majority of people.”

Garrow is credited with hunting down the letter from Obama to Alex McNear, who dated each other while the future commander-in-chief was attending Occidental College in Los Angeles.

Barack Obama as student at Harvard university, c. 1992 (Photo by Apic/Getty Images)
President Barack Obama takes a break from learning to kitesurf at Richard Branson’s Necker Island retreat on February 1, 2017 in the British Virgin Islands. (Photo by Jack Brockway/Getty Images)

“In regard to homosexuality, I must say that I believe this is an attempt to remove oneself from the present, a refusal perhaps to perpetuate the endless farce of earthly life. You see, I make love to men daily, but in the imagination,” Obama, then 21, wrote to McNear in the 1982 letter.

“My mind is androgynous to a great extent and I hope to make it more so until I can think in terms of people, not women as opposed to men. But, in returning to the body, I see that I have been made a man, and physically in life, I choose to accept that contingency,” he continued.

The letter is now owned by Emory University.

Garrow doesn’t see the letter to McNear as scandalous.

“I’m a historian, not a psychotherapist, but, you know, I’m 70 years old. My sense of the world is that, you know, a large majority of humanity has fantasy lives,” Garrow told Fox News. “So, I don’t find that passage in any way scandalous. It’s sort of representative of humanity.”

Former U.S. President Barack Obama speaks at a Democracy Forum event held by the Obama Foundation at the Javits Center on November 17, 2022 in New York City. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

In his 1,400-page biography Rising Star: The Making of Barack Obama, the writer also notes that Obama “continued to see” an ex-girlfriend as he was “in a relationship with Michelle Robinson,” who would become Michelle Obama.

“I always felt bad about it,” the ex-girlfriend, Sheila Miyoshi Jager, later told Garrow, who also writes that Obama proposed to Jager — twice.

Hold up, so this whole Obama gay imagination thing quietly sits around inside a 1,400-page biography by a respected biographer who drew rave reviews for his work from POLITICO of all places back in 2017, and now we’re just around to it in 2023?

What the hell was the internet waiting for? You’d think that passage about gay fantasies would be used in all sorts of political battle tweets. People wasted SIX YEARS of tweeting without using this love letter as a weapon.


I expect better out of social media.

And while we’re at it, let’s not forget that Politifact made sure to do a fact-check earlier this year where they addressed the death of Joan Rivers and whether she was killed for saying, in 2014, that Barack Obama “is gay and Michelle Obama is trans.”

Politifact declared this was a “Pants on fire” lie. Interestingly, the Politifact researchers make no mention of Garrow getting his hands on a hand-written version of the love letter that’s being housed at Emory University about Obama’s gay imagination in 1982.

Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.

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