In defense of Vandy

Vanderbilt’s position as the top academic institution in the SEC means that our reputation revolves more around libraries than parties. Yes, Vanderbilt students work hard. We had to. The school is packed with type A overachievers so things get competitive. But all of that stress has to have an outlet or students would be throwing themselves off parking garages regularly.

So those of us who went to Vanderbilt were not too surprised that the university ranked 7^th on Playboy’s list of Top Ten Party Schools. Everyone else was skeptical. Playboy’s list was based on sex, sports, and nightlife. UVA came in at #1. Then Southern Cal, Florida, Texas, Wisconsin, Georgia, Vandy, Tulane, TCU, and Ohio State. You can see the original post here (NSFW, obviously):  

http://www.playboy.com/playground/view/top-10-party-schools

I’m not exactly sure what Playboy means by sex, but let’s define it in terms of quality and availability of women. It’s hard to get much better than the girls at Vanderbilt. If you are shocked by that statement, you’ve never actually been on Vanderbilt’s campus. There are lots of beautiful girls, and just as importantly, lots of rich beautiful girls. Money can make anyone look better. Even Clay agrees; he ranked Vanderbilt 3^rd in the SEC in attractive women. If you happen to be on campus on a game day, stroll through fraternity row and tell me I’m wrong.

As for sports, we can turn this into an argument about Vandy’s lack of football tradition or the fact that there isn’t an athletic department, but that misses the point. The university still benefits from being a member of the most competitive conference in the country and all that comes with it.

Most Vandy students live on campus and all of the fraternity and sorority houses are located within a few blocks of each other, making it easy to hop from frat to frat on weekends. Plus, Greek life is huge. There are 18 fraternities and 15 sororities, with 40% of the undergraduate population being Greek. My freshman and sophomore years, my friends and I spent almost every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night at a fraternity party. Memories from my own sorority include girls having sex with their dates on the bus on the way to parties, snorting coke in the bathrooms, vomiting everywhere and one unfortunate incident of a girl crapping herself at a football game. Does that make them elite partiers? I don’t know. Are they great stories? Yes.

My sorority also had a tradition called senior sendoff where that year’s senior class selected senior boys to strip in front of the entire house. We would pre-game to make the guys feel a little more comfortable- hopefully really comfortable because it was more interesting if the guys took everything off, but usually they just stripped down to a thong. (My senior sendoff consisted of me taking a long nap on the bathroom floor, but I hear it was fun.) A friend who was an SAE told me about buying a car just to demolish it on the front lawn, which they did by running over it with a Humvee. He couldn’t remember why or how this kid had a Humvee but does remember that VUPD watched the whole demonstration. Destruction is probably a common theme of college-aged men, but Vandy students have deeper pockets than most. SAE was also the scene of this incident: http://deadspin.com/5854399/this-is-what-happens-when-old-drunk-alumni-trash-and-poop-a-vanderbilt-frat-house-on-homecoming-to-the-tune-of-12000

Even when we were old enough to go to bars, we went to specific bars on certain nights of the week. Flying Saucer Monday, Sportsman’s Tuesday… wherever it was, Vanderbilt students partied together. Which brings me to the main reason Vanderbilt belongs on this list: Nashville. College towns are great, but Nashville is better.

The other schools may have larger student populations and lower academic standards, but Vanderbilt has a unique mixture of money, southern girls, Greek life, and SEC culture that you should experience for yourself. May I suggest Homecoming weekend? I’ll see you at Beta.

(Dad, if you’re reading this, I never participated in any of the things I mentioned. I heard about it after the fact because I was studying at the library.)