There are wedding proposals gone wrong — like popping the question at a Red Sox game with the Blue Jays leading 28-5 — and then there’s proposing on a safari and your future wife ends up in a neck brace because some non-compliant giraffe tries to decapitate a woman.
“Had to wear a neck brace for the next few days — but still the best proposal ever,” the future bride Montserrat Cox wrote on TikTok while reliving the moment where a cute giraffe tried to end it all.
Let’s quickly go to the footage so this all makes sense:
I’m not an expert on giraffes, but I know a giraffe that thinks you have food and will snap a neck — clearly not intentional — in a second when it thinks you’re holding a treat.
Do you think a giraffe has time to be your wedding proposal prop? Hell no, that animal needs to eat like Michael Phelps before winning 30 Olympic medals. According to the San Diego Zoo, giraffes are known to eat up to 75 pounds of food per day and that food is acacia leaves.
And if you’re going to get eye level with these beautiful animals, you better say ‘yes’ and get your ass moving with the hugs and the photos because Geoffrey, or whatever this one goes by, needs to get moving with its 6-foot-1 neck.
And for the losers out there saying how nearly having your neck snapped by a giraffe is a bad omen, Montserrat has news for you Debbie downers.
“No friends; It’s not a sign of anything. We have been very happy together for 7 years. The giraffe was just being a giraffe,” she wrote.
Yeah, all you losers who hate happily engaged couples can take that! Montserrat got a ring and a viral TikTok video. Meanwhile, your useless wedding party hashtag quit receiving traffic 12 hours after you got married.