Horny Men Live Longer Than Their Peers, Study Finds

Are you hornier than a two-peckered billy goat?

There's great news out of Japan where researchers have found that middle-aged and older men who have little to no interest in sex are at a higher risk of dying compared to the guys who are banging on a regular basis.

The brilliant scientists at scientists at Yamagata University spent NINE years studying 21,000 participants -- men and women, some horny, some just going through the motions and not getting it up -- and they found horny men are 69%(!) less likely to die at a young age compared to those who have lost interest in bang sessions.

The science here seems rather simple: a lower sex drive is the result of a bad diet, obesity, lack of exercise, etc.

If you're a lazy toolbag playing video games, smoking cigs, crushing extra large Dews and dominating a KFC 6-piece feast, it's highly likely you're resigned to the fact that vagina isn't in the cards and you're going to die at an early age.

These scientists determined, based on these horny men they studied, that the hornier you are, the higher likelihood you'll have better mental and physical health.

Makes sense, right?

Study after study has found that men who are getting sex multiple times a week are living longer than men having less or no sex. Getty Images

If you're out there throwing around shingles all day, there's a higher likelihood you'll want to crush a steak, a vodka Red Bull, and then chase tail at the saloon. Dr. Kaori Sakurada, one of the Japanese bros who spent NINE years on this study put it best when he said, "Male lack of interest in sex may be related with an unhealthy lifestyle."

Uh-huh, go on.

"In this study, men who reported a lack of sexual interest included more current smokers and cases of diabetes. Furthermore... the absence of interest may affect a range of inflammatory, neuroendocrine and immune responses," Kaori continued.

Over the length of the study, Kaori's team found that of the 352 fatalities from the group, a whopping 4% of the deaths were men who said they were interested in sex; 48% of the deaths were men who had NO interest in sex.

BOOM.

Getty Images

I'm no researcher, but even my dumb brain understands this is HUGE news.

And this is why it's imperative for you guys to stay horny or at least die trying. Let's face it, these guys who've given up on being horny have given up on life. They've lost all will to live, to get their fat asses out of the recliner to crush another day of life, to get their asses off the computer, and to the retirement community pool to work on their horny game.

It's not like the Japanese hornballs are onto something. Way back in the late 1970s and early 80s, English researchers studied 918 guys and found after 10 years that the death rate was HALF for the guys who were banging twice a week. The more sex these guys were having, the less chance of death.

Get horny, guys. Listen to the researchers. It could save your life.

Cheers.