It felt absolutely amazing to stay off the computer on Sunday
Sunny, low 60s, no wind, the kids running around the neighborhood, March Madness on the garage TV, and making cages with my wife for our tulips so the damn rabbits won’t treat them as their personal salads.
Now that was a beautiful mid-March Sunday. So calm. One of those days where I stand in the driveway listening to the birds, the sounds of spring in the air.
And then my wife suggested we go see the new Batman movie. She and I don’t do many #datenight(s), so it was time to go see a movie. Just some alone time like a decade ago. Just a couple of parents trying to relearn the movie theater process where you now pick your seats like you’re buying tickets to Wrigley Field. Who knew?
Remember that peaceful and calm Sunday I mentioned? Well, it ended like 30 seconds into the movie. I’m not going to ruin Batman for those of you who haven’t seen it, but let’s just say after seeing that movie, I can’t believe my wife didn’t wake up in the middle of the night seeing things in the ceiling.
Our calm Sunday was over as the craziest, most wicked Batman to date went on for three hours. Let’s just say the movie director, producer, sound team, etc. didn’t cheat the customer on this one.
I’m not a big movie guy, so I can’t get into a big debate with the movie Big Js of the world, but I have to say that movie kicks ass. Demented? Yep. Dark? Oh yeah. Cool fight scenes? Check.
Let’s just say that if I’m going to give up a night in the cave watching March Madness, it better be for a movie like this one.
*Disclaimer: Go see Batman at the theater. I’m proud of the sound system I put in my own man cave, but this movie deserves the theater experience. Trust me.
Now, which movie should I see next? I’m even willing to go to the theater again. $10 for a movie is a steal considering gas is $4 a gallon. I’d even argue that going to the theater is a steal at this point in the inflation era.
Fire away with movie suggestions.
• Ryan H. in Texas writes:
• Aaron H. writes:
Great piece on Pat Forde. Look for a Spring power equipment piece from me in a day or two. Hope you doing well.
I appreciate the kind words about the Forde post because I can guarantee you there were a hundred other places I would’ve rather been at 6 p.m. Saturday night than in front of my computer banging out the Forde post and then the Lia Thomas finishing 8th in the 100 freestyle national championship post.
All that kept me going was the vision of future weekends that will include patio beers and me not answering my phone or sitting in front of a computer. Between the Bengals’ Super Bowl run and Lia Thomas’ ass being a content machine, those summer Friday afternoon and weekend golf tee times are going to be glorious.
On Craftsman mowers and Screencaps
• LSU fan Joe M., who knows how to bring it when he fires off an email, writes:
A few short months ago I was extolling to you the virtues of the Craftsman battery-powered mower in these hallowed HTML pages. I spent less than $200 on the mower with two 5 amp batteries that I can use in my treasure chest of other Craftsman battery powered tools. I paid for two batteries and essentially got the mower for free (I went all in with their angle grinder, weed whacker, drill/driver kit, air inflator, etc.) If you are still using a manual pump for your pool toys, bicycle tires, etc., you are in the wrong. It is no way to live. The fact that the Craftsman inflator can also do car/truck tires is amazing.
I’m a Craftsman absolutist; my granddad (Greentown, Indiana, diesel sub vet in WWII) was Sears or bust. You say “diesel subs” and I nearly immediately affirm your knowledge of mechanical things to be vastly superior to anything I know. He did still have Lawn Darts in the garage that I could play with, so there’s that.
The Craftsman Pro series screwdrivers were enough to make a man feel weak in the knees with their quality, and the knowledge you could walk into any Sears store and trade in a hand tool if you somehow managed to strip it, and get a new one with zero fight was very empowering. The only time I can remember not buying Craftsman before the demise of Sears was for a Snap-On wire cutter/stripping tool. Yes, you should be able to strip different gauges of wire by feel, and not needing those pre-configured wire thickness gauges to strip your wire. DBAP, be a man.
However, with the demise of Sears stores, Craftsman essentially faded away out of consciousness. Then Lowes bought the Craftsman brand about two years ago. I started giving away my Husky and Kobalt tools to anyone that would take them and replace them with Craftsman tools. Valhalla was restored.
My father-in-law borrowed the battery-powered Craftsman mower twice, and the third time he said it just didn’t work. Now, I have to note that I hadn’t used it between the second time he borrowed it, when it worked, and the third time he borrowed it, when it didn’t. Shout out to people born in the 70s (and apparently every one of your screencaps readers) when we still had small engine shop in junior high, I would fix it if I could. If I had a wiring diagram, I could do some soldering work to fix, but we don’t have that either. I thought I could just bring it to Lowes (since they own the brand) six months after buying it and have it replaced, but apparently, that’s not how it works.
Craftsman was fast in saying that there was no problem, it was under warranty (~6 months old; I scan all my receipts and register my products like the guy I am). They promptly emailed me a shipping label to mail back the mower in order to get a replacement. While I’m a big fan of reusing shipping boxes, one that fits even a foldable mower is a custom pack job, and… You’re asking me to mail a LAWNMOWER in, rather than bring it to a store that has your brand of lawnmowers delivered to it on the regular that could bring it back to the distro point with a simple barcode attached to it. In case anyone wonders why your companies have to pay consultants money, it’s because of things like this. Everyone reading Screen Caps today knows this was dumb as soon as you read it.
Situations like these are precisely why we need Screen Caps and TNML posts. This, kind Screencaps readers, is precisely why we need pictures of babes, tasty food, and badass toys every day. I don’t care if Brit-Brit is cray-cray, if you feel that Spriranac just needs page views, or if the sandwich would give you a heart attack, Screen Caps is precisely the counterweight to straight-up stupidity like the corporate plan to have people mail back lawnmowers (and I assume stump grinders, chainsaws, etc). It gives us a chance to sigh and laugh at something.
What a guy’s guy kind of email from Joe M. Just the mention of Craftsman takes me back to my youth and my dad also being a Craftsman absolutist.
There are three brands that stand out from youth via my father and his job as a county engineer’s department backhoe operator:
- Rocky boots
I vividly remember my father telling me that Rocky was shifting production to China, and he piled us into the truck and hauled ass to Nelsonville, OH where my Kinsey roots go back to the 19th century so my dad could buy as many pairs of Nelsonville-made Rocky boots as possible. He might still have boxes of those boots in his closet.
As for Joe recognizing the power of Screencaps, he’s in my mind with that final paragraph. Screencaps is what you make of it. I pretty much know what’s going on in each and every brain that loves this column. There’s no perfect edition of Screencaps, but I guarantee you guys can find a few things in each post that brings a smile or you want to send to your friends.
Screencaps is here for you during difficult times like when the Craftsman bean counters want you to box up a lawnmower.
I like how these corporate assholes are banking on people not taking the challenge of boxing up a lawnmower. What a nice business plan.
On boring research
• David C., who has an eye for posts that will turn into Screencaps content, sent this one in as I was rambling on about Craftsman. This one is on how UK researchers allegedly discovered the world’s most boring person and how he/she lives life:
The top five most boring jobs
1.) Data Analysis
The top five most boring hobbies
3.) Watching TV
4.) Observing animals
You guys have no idea how many lawyers have contacted me over the years. I have no idea how that job didn’t make the top five most boring jobs list. But let’s be honest, those are five strong boring jobs, unless you have a cool boss who likes to crush Busch Lights after a hard day of accounting and likes to take the crew out to the bars to celebrate balanced budgets.
What are the boring jobs out there in the U.S.? Don’t lie, I can see the analytics on how many of you are reading Screencaps at work.
And with that, I’m out. It’s going to be 70 and sunny here today and all I want to do is bust ass through another day of blogging so I can get my hands into the garden and on a basketball in the driveway. I’m even willing to keep pumping chest passes to the kids. Get out there and enjoy the second day of spring.