Videos by OutKick
That was the first golf trip live draft I’ve ever taken part in and it was a blast
I’ve mentioned how next week is the Thursday Night Mowing League all-star break because I’ll be Up North® in the lower peninsula of northern Michigan ignoring my phone while golfing my brains out in some of the purest air known to man.
Last night was the Microsoft Teams® Virtual School’s Out Draft Night 2023 where the captains — myself and Canoe Kirk — were under orders from trip administrators to pick our Ryder Cup teams from the 30 available players (32 total players with us two D-level captains) and it was such a good time that I’d like to have more of that energy running through my veins on a yearly basis.
I’m under strict orders to not reveal details on the teams and I’m a man of my word, so I won’t say which team has Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green or any details whatsoever on where Diesel went in the draft or which team he’s on. I was threatened with banishment from the trip if secret details leaked.
Good luck to the CIA waterboarding team getting a word out of me before the teams are revealed a week from tonight.
However, I can hit on some highlights of my emotions through the draft process:
- The draft and Ryder Cup matchup assignments took two hours to complete. Nothing beats spending two hours on a Microsoft Teams® call when you’re talking golf, which guys are wildcards to turn into shitty golfers because they’re drunk and which matchups will cause emotions to boil over. It sure beat a virtual work meeting.
- Canoe Kirk won the ceremonial first pick after I chose the Queen Elizabeth side of the coin that tourney coordinator C.D. used after taking it from one of his kids. I guess the other side had Superman or something like that. All I know is that Queen Elizabeth didn’t help me — #RIP
- I can’t say which level of player was the No. 1 overall pick because Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green, TNML superstar Jimmy D. and others are definitely lurking on this post.
- One thing I’m dreading about being a captain is having to go off EARLY AF. My Saturday match is at 7:08 or something like that after a long night of drinking. Ouch.
- I made sure to go with a good mix of old salty dogs and young guns. I was worried about loading up on too many young guns who could wake up Saturday all hungover and not able to swing a club. What I’ve learned over these trips is to find balance with the team. Too many guys puking in the bushes spells disaster. You need rock-solid veterans in the middle of the lineup.
- That said, I have a couple of guys who are going to be a disaster no matter what, so there will be pressure on my shoulders to motivate these guys to get it together for the TEAM. What’s that Vitamin D. stuff you guys pour into water to hydrate? Let me know. I’m buying a case from Costco.
- I got my ass kicked last year by Kenny Young, who in his early years on this trip couldn’t hit the ball 50 yards on the fly. Now I have to face my cartner, Canoe Kirk, who hasn’t beaten me in about a year, so I know emotions will be running high. The teams are set. The sun is supposed to be shining and I need a vacation.
You’ve been warned. Don’t bother asking for TNML stickers, telling me the IGs don’t load, your political leanings, etc. after the close of business on Tuesday. I’m going dark for days.
Speaking of golf…
Remember to #savethedate for the PIB 2-Club Invitational. I heard from a longtime Screencaps reader who says his schedule has suddenly opened up that weekend and he should be able to make it.
Like I’ve said, those of you coming should let me know like 10 days out because so many people have canceled over the years that I got tired of issuing refunds. I get it — life changes and it’s intimidating to have to ferry over to a Lake Erie island for a golf tournament. It’s not for everyone, that’s for sure.
Things are getting serious with zero rain on the 7-day forecast. I couldn’t have picked a better all-star break date.
• Dave M. writes:
no rain in sight here in the Philly area or the past couple days. Least amount of rain on record for the month of May. Records back to 1872….
I think “we” can start tossing around the drought word…just my opinion
AMA — ‘What’s your most memorable moment since you became a sports writer/blogger?’
• Chad R. writes:
I hope you are doing well. I was just curious what you consider to be the most memorable moment for you since you became a sports writer-reporter? I thank you for your time.
Wow, now there’s a tough one.
I was just trying to re-tell the story over the weekend of the time a few years ago I ended up in A.J. Foyt’s personal RV/hauler at Mid-Ohio where I threw around some questions in a very relaxed one-on-one because my former boss had a personal relationship with A.J.
As a kid who grew up 90 miles from Indy, the 500 was the most important racing event in the world to us. Foyt was the man. I loved how fiery he was. They always say to not meet a hero or someone you put on a pedestal. It turns out A.J. Foyt was awesome. Yes, he was a salty dog, but he was fair with his saltiness. It was perfectly timed. And he had awesome stories about his life. It remains a big highlight of my career. I was happy to see him looking so good Sunday and you’re damn right I was pulling for his driver.
• Riding behind Mario Andretti in a two-seater for two laps around Indianapolis Motor Speedway is up there, too. It is still hard to believe that happened.
• Sitting in the bathroom on the very first Goodyear Blimp to have a legit restroom is a huge highlight.
• Hitting Wiffleballs off Joe Carter
• Throwing footballs at targets in front of Tom Osborne
• Broadcasting live for three days inside the ropes on Radio Row at the Minneapolis Super Bowl without paying for a table, interviewing all sorts of big names, and turning a profit by selling sponsorships and staying in one of the biggest shithole hotels in Minnesota Mall of America area history, plus surviving it all, remains one of my big accomplishments.
• Pulling off the Battle at Bristol RV trip with my neighbors and having one of those trips you’ll never forget also comes to mind. That’s also where I met Clay for the first time and launched a relationship that has me right here this morning. That’s a big moment.
• Bowling with Danny Trejo because he didn’t have anything going on after a sponsored event and decided to come out with us.
• Watching my father enjoy the festivities during Miami’s Super Bowl week including South Beach parties I was able to get him into was a big moment. He spent two nights as a VIP at a 49ers party where his head was spinning over all the former legends hanging out.
• And possibly the biggest accomplishments I’ve had would be hitting a 37-yard field goal at the Mercedes Dome in Atlanta in front of Jerry Rice on a Marriott-sponsored work trip and then being invited to do it again at the 49ers training facility where I hit a huge field goal in front of Emmitt Smith and became a two-time Marriott Rewards VIP Experience MVP.
• Being asked by Jerry Rice if I kicked in college was big. The truth is that I was in my 40s and had never kicked a field goal in my life until that day on the Mercedes turf. I got my NFL.com gift card for winning the MVP award, I jumped back on the train to the airport and was home by dinner. I was in Atlanta for approximately six hours.
I could go on and on.
Let’s just say I’ve been incredibly fortunate over the last 15-plus years.
I’m willing to keep you anonymous. Has your 8U played FIVE games in a day at one of these travel ball tournaments?
BTW, those kids played in those dark (is that black) uniforms for FIVE games on Memorial Day. Absolute warriors.
I may not like the Browns, but when this guy calls a football game it’s impossible not to feel the emotional highs and lows of Browns fans
I’ll speak for all football fans who’ve heard Jim Donovan call a football game and say we wish the voice of the Browns nothing but a clean bill of health after this upcoming battle.
That’s it. Let’s get after it today. I totally understand some of you don’t have a lick of water to make the grass grow. Hang in there. I’m in the same boat.
As for those of you on vacation. Enjoy.