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Ahhhh, US Open week. If I were still working for Golf Channel, we would say, “Let the carnage begin” about 4,078 times … but I don’t work there anymore, so I never have to utter that shitty phrase again.
I also covered the US Open LIVE for four straight years for FOX. You probably remember that because 96% of you heckled us relentlessly and wore your keyboards out telling us how much we sucked.
It also immortalized a tight white dress I wore at Oakmont, which reminds me — I should sell that thing.
Anyhow, the access at FOX allowed me to play a practice round at each US Open venue prior to the championship, AND gave me access to the workings of the USGA firsthand as they salivated over every deadly pin placement that would ensure at least three broken putters by the weekend. Speaking of salivating, don’t forget to come visit me at my own website, HollySonders.com.
My takeaways from those experiences:
— Nobody can understand how BRUTAL these courses are and how GREAT these pros are at playing golf
— I had to throw my ball out of the rough because it would have broken my wrist in certain spots if I had tried to hit it during my practice rounds at these courses. The last time I even came close to risking that kind of injury was in the back seat of a limo in Vegas . . . but I digress
— Most golfers would 4-putt 13 of the 18 holes
— Fuck you if you made fun of our FOX broadcasts. Seriously.
So this week, the scene is historic Torrey Pines. And a US Open needs someone long and strong to handle her … so do I. Haha.
Anyhow, it also requires insane accuracy and precision. So my picks are those who have been tried and true when it comes performance and majors and have been hot as of late.
Bryson DeChambeau (+1700) looks to defend his title this week, but my money is on his mortal foe … two-time US Open champ Brooks Koepka (+1800). Their tiff has been hilarious, and the USGA was diplomatic enough NOT to pair them together the first two rounds but if God exists, he will allow Jesus to take the wheel this weekend and have this entire event come down to a Bryson/Brooks pairing on Sunday.
Another strong contender this week is Jon Rahm (+950), who is fresh off the surprise COVID news he received while dominating at the Memorial. What a world. This week, he will make up for the prize money he was robbed of AND make you money in the process.
If you’re looking for a longshot, try Bubba Watson (+15000).
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5 CommentsLeave a Reply
I miss the old Holly, I think she was way more beautiful
Yes, her face looks so fake.
One of the underlooked tragedies of the pandemic was Fox losing the USGA events. They did a great job with them.
Although we should at least count our blessings that CBS didn’t get the contract.
I see what you did there with the title…
This is cringe.
I’m not judging you Holly but I promise there exists a better life than thirst trapping. The dudes thirsting on this don’t actually care about the person. It’s a cynical reductionist transaction.
I wish you well
(cue the dudes “bRo rElAx, sHeS nOt gOnNa SleEp wiTh yOu). No kidding. Not my intention either.