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Holly Sonders: That’s A Pretty Big Schwab You’ve Got There

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On Sunday, at the end of the week at Kiawah, it was Uncle Phil holding the Wanamaker Trophy. At 50 years old and with his rhinestone belts and shades … he pulled it off.

I can’t fucking believe it, but it makes me happy. And if you listened to anything I said on Clay Travis’ Outkick The Coverage show last week and threw a few bucks on Phil before the championship started, you’d have a giant bulge in your pants … right where you put your big, fat, thick wallet. Phil was nearly +20000 to win … so a $3 bet was a $900 winner!

It’s only right and proper that you spend a portion of your earnings on my “exclusive” website since you more than covered yourself. And then you can see me uncovered. Hehe. Thanks Phil. 

Now, as we all know, the week after a major is always a tremendous fucking letdown. Kinda like switching back to Golf Digest’s instruction section after you’ve spent some private online instruction time with me: “It’s important to find the perfect grip. Not too tight, not too loose. Now waggle the head a little. There you go! You’re a natural.” Ahem, I digress.

The PGA Tour now heads to god-knows-where for an event nobody can name (unless you’re one of the lime green cardigan wearing dorks who uses lead tape on their putter). This week, the event happens to be the Charles Schwab Challenge. The what? Exactly. It will be played at a historic venue though — at Colonial — but the field will predictably be less than showstopping since most of the world’s best will take the week off to give their balls a rest, before returning to Columbus for the Memorial next week. 

The only redeeming part of the week: Daniel Berger is the defending champion and he’s a badass. I’m excited to see him play this week, and he’s a great value on FanDuel right now at +1900. Collin Morikawa (+1200) is also a safe place to put your money as is Justin Thomas (+1300). I’m also on the Will Zalatoris train (+2300), and believe you me, I know trains. Speaking of Zalatoris, his name sounds like … a winner to me.

And the newest PGA Champion is also in the field — Mr. Phil Mickelson (+4300). Back to back weeks? I’ll need more than the assless chaps if this happens.

Brooks vs. Bryson — I would not be providing the true golf-friend experience you are coming here for if I didn’t at least mention the ongoing club-measuring competition between Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau. If you must know the details, click here, but suffice it to say, I am less than impressed. These fellas are acting like a couple of weekend amateurs out at the range, posing and preening and trying to show whose 3-wood has the longest shaft. I’d probably give the nod to Bryson. It might be long, but you gotta wonder if he can perform in thick, nasty rough, or if he can get up and down on an undulating, bikini waxed surface. Brooks strikes me as a more workmanlike, grind-it-out kind of guy.

19th hole — And to the commenter who said I was “all boobs, no butt,” I leave you with this:

The End.

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Written by Holly Sonders

14 Comments

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  1. I get that OK is geared towards males, because hey, we woman really don’t follow sports, right? I mean, has there been a NHL playoff article, at all, in the last week? NO. But, after reading Kinsey’s daily post, I politely scroll through Kinsey’s screenshots, sometimes stopping to admire a really toned and athletic body. No prob. Every once in awhile, I get to see a great set of abs on a guy. Thanks Kinsey! But I really don’t need a tongue-in-cheek guide on how to give a guy a hand job, nor do I need to see Holly’s ass up front and center, along with her judicious use of “fuck” just to prove she is somehow a cool-ass chick. Kinsey can post the butt and boob jobs after his daily uptake and we can chose whether to scroll through them. But to have her ass, right in the middle of the article? Crap….talk about setting the bar low for females writers….

  2. I remember Holly on the Golf Channel very well, and she did a lot of good stuff there…but she must have had Brandle and the whole male contingent drooling on their expensive ties (or their polos) and hurting themselves if they bumped into walls…because she seems to think that all the guys on OKTC want and need her to be the ultimate tease.
    You’re super pretty, Holly…for sure…and your mind is even sharper than your tongue…but as much as i like a nice T&A shot now and again, you really are getting wayyyyyy out over your skis with the tease.
    Love,
    Mom

  3. Holly, I’m sure you’re a fine person, so please don’t take my message to OK below as a personal insult. You keep getting yours and doing a great job, because you are. This is a well-written, crafty article for a certain audience. I’m just surprised OK is going in this direction…

    Outkick, it’s clear the direction you are going and the particular type of audience you want to attract and cater towards. This kind of content will detract credibility from your more serious pieces. Don’t know if that’s what you want, but I had higher hopes. Just call yourself Barstool 2, because that’s what you’re becoming (or perhaps what you are; hell, maybe that was the business model all along). And maybe that’s good for money; I guess I thought you were different. Selling out, day by day by day. I don’t like it. I’m sure others will. Now, when I bring up Outkick as a source in serious debate on serious issues with friends and family (like BLM, COVID, Elections, so many things you’ve shed such great light on over the years), they will just say “Ah, isn’t that the far right wing website that Fox bought that doubles as a Maxim magazine?” And I’m not sure how I could respond to that. Perhaps by saying that this sort of content is mutually exclusive from the more serious content? Or that you’re not far right wing, but only your VIPers are? I don’t know. No one takes Maxim’s articles seriously (or Barstool for that matter), and a whiff of the VIP message boards on here is everything OK opposed when it first started. Good bye OK as a credible source. Thanks for all of the memories. Please tell me I’m wrong.

  4. To anyone criticizing Holly or thinking that her articles somehow take away from the integrity of OutKick, please keep in mind that one of things that helped to catapult Clay to national prominence was him saying on CNN that the only two things he is an absolutist in are “the first amendment and boobs”. If you don’t like Holly’s writing, then that’s fine. But any claim that she doesn’t fit in with what OutKick has strived to be all along doesn’t make sense

  5. Folks, again, Outkick is not OANN sports. Yes, it is similar to Barstool sports but with more political commentary. Holly Sonders is well known and will bring readers to the site which is what every website wants. If you don’t like it don’t click on it.

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