On Sunday, at the end of the week at Kiawah, it was Uncle Phil holding the Wanamaker Trophy. At 50 years old and with his rhinestone belts and shades … he pulled it off.
I can’t fucking believe it, but it makes me happy. And if you listened to anything I said on Clay Travis’ Outkick The Coverage show last week and threw a few bucks on Phil before the championship started, you’d have a giant bulge in your pants … right where you put your big, fat, thick wallet. Phil was nearly +20000 to win … so a $3 bet was a $900 winner!
It’s only right and proper that you spend a portion of your earnings on my “exclusive” website since you more than covered yourself. And then you can see me uncovered. Hehe. Thanks Phil.
Now, as we all know, the week after a major is always a tremendous fucking letdown. Kinda like switching back to Golf Digest’s instruction section after you’ve spent some private online instruction time with me: “It’s important to find the perfect grip. Not too tight, not too loose. Now waggle the head a little. There you go! You’re a natural.” Ahem, I digress.
The PGA Tour now heads to god-knows-where for an event nobody can name (unless you’re one of the lime green cardigan wearing dorks who uses lead tape on their putter). This week, the event happens to be the Charles Schwab Challenge. The what? Exactly. It will be played at a historic venue though — at Colonial — but the field will predictably be less than showstopping since most of the world’s best will take the week off to give their balls a rest, before returning to Columbus for the Memorial next week.
The only redeeming part of the week: Daniel Berger is the defending champion and he’s a badass. I’m excited to see him play this week, and he’s a great value on FanDuel right now at +1900. Collin Morikawa (+1200) is also a safe place to put your money as is Justin Thomas (+1300). I’m also on the Will Zalatoris train (+2300), and believe you me, I know trains. Speaking of Zalatoris, his name sounds like … a winner to me.
And the newest PGA Champion is also in the field — Mr. Phil Mickelson (+4300). Back to back weeks? I’ll need more than the assless chaps if this happens.
Brooks vs. Bryson — I would not be providing the true golf-friend experience you are coming here for if I didn’t at least mention the ongoing club-measuring competition between Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau. If you must know the details, click here, but suffice it to say, I am less than impressed. These fellas are acting like a couple of weekend amateurs out at the range, posing and preening and trying to show whose 3-wood has the longest shaft. I’d probably give the nod to Bryson. It might be long, but you gotta wonder if he can perform in thick, nasty rough, or if he can get up and down on an undulating, bikini waxed surface. Brooks strikes me as a more workmanlike, grind-it-out kind of guy.
19th hole — And to the commenter who said I was “all boobs, no butt,” I leave you with this:
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