Hockey Goalie Mikayla Demaiter Seems Pumped Up For NHL Playoffs, Buy Michael Jordan's 1985 Shoes & Phillies Get A Puppy
What a wild feeling to be sitting here on NFL Draft Day with MY Bengals once again coming off a great season
After nearly 30 years of sweating NFL Drafts going all the way back to being a kid sitting there watching the ESPN scroll hoping the Bengals didn't take another bust at quarterback, I'll gladly take the feeling I have this morning.
Good luck to those of you praying your team doesn't end up with CJ Stroud.
Seems like he has a decent arm, but let's be honest, he's aloof. How's he going to react when he's losing big time for the first time in life? I sure wouldn't bet the future on the guy.
And one other thing, look at the Lions with the No. 6 pick. I've said it multiple times over the last several months. This is a team poised to win its first playoff game since January 5, 1992. It's either going to happen this season or in 2024.
Poor Keith Olbermann
Thank you to those who have sent this one. I'm left wondering at what point in his life Keith Olbermann became an insufferable asshole and if he's ever thought of just turning off social media and trying to live some semblance of a fun life. There's no chance the guy has had much fun. You can't possibly be as miserable as Keith comes off and then go live a fun life when social media is turned off.
No chance.
This is impressive work here from Megyn. Sums it up pretty well.
TNML sticker requests
• David P. writes:
HI Joe, I'm old balls but screencaps and some younger buds from TCU help me stay alive. We have three beautiful and awesome daughters and now have three grandsons in different levels of kid pitch. Moved to be closer and its great. Missed opening night due to cataract surgery, but got it done Wednesday night before. Long time Thursday mower but moved to battery a few years back to preserve what's left of my rotator cuff. Would dearly love a sticker. Thanks for Liz and Salma pics.
Kinsey:
Any reader who respects the Liz Hurley and Salma Hayek content game is my kind of reader. I know there's been plenty of bitching an moaning around here from those who want to see some women in their age range. Welp, we're talking about a couple of 56-57 A-listers.
Yet I'm rarely thanked for throwing the old(er) readers a 50-something. I go out and find the Italian ballet dancer woman who has to be in her 50s just putting IG models in their 20s to shame and I don't get thank yous from the retirees. Unreal!
Do you guys know how hard it is to find up-and-coming Instagram talent in their 50s? It's damn near impossible.
You're damn right David P. gets stickers. Thank you for saying thank you, David.
Crazy safety training videos
• Thomas in NC appreciated Wednesday's crazy safety video and came back with one he likes:
This video is a 'classic for forklift training' (ha) it's a bit long and in German(subtitled in English), but it's worth the time.
Kinsey:
Crack a beer and enjoy this masterpiece.
On umpires
In case you missed the story about a New Jersey Little League and its new rule for parents who want to argue with umpires -- read this.
• John G. writes:
I am now a few years out of Little League, but your article on umpires touched a soft spot in my heart. Absolutely the loudmouth parents should have to umpire games. It will teach them a lesson.
Let me get this out of the way, umpiring is HARD and most people have no idea.
Back when I started managing, one of the requirements to be a manager in our league was that you were responsible for umpiring five games per season in other divisions beneath Majors (in Majors they hired "professional" umpires who knew what they were doing). If you couldn't make a game, you could trade with someone or you could hire a replacement in a pinch, but you were expected to be the actual umpire most of the time and it was part of your evaluation in future seasons to see if you were given another team. It was a BIG DEAL. I enjoyed doing it and would often volunteer to take on extra shifts, but most of the other coaches hated it and always tried to get out of the obligation.
About halfway through my kids' time in LL, after sufficient bitching from younger coaches in the league, our board decided to do away with the umpiring requirement altogether and just raised the registration fee to pay for umpires for every game. IMMEDIATELY in the lower divisions, where none of those coaches had ever umpired before and the parents were too young to know any better, there started being incidents involving umpires and coaches and fans, and by the time my youngest kid aged out and I was done with Little League, there were problems in every single division and every single game, even in Majors. The parents and coaches expected the umpires to be perfect because, after all, they were paying for them.
Pretty soon all of the umpires quit, even the Majors ones, and the league started having problems finding umpires for most games. It was the most ridiculous thing ever and it was entirely self-inflicted.
I guess the moral of the story is that requiring the coaches to umpire games themselves gave them some perspective and experience that they wouldn't have otherwise and once that was taken away, they didn't know any better than to not complain and cause trouble.
• Travel ball hardo Chris B. in Houston writes:
Great article. I love that your team is the Astros! And those umps walking away from the games is so fantastic. The jackass parents all had to look at each other and grasp that they had just fuctup their kids' games.
Not Amish
This has to be a Screencaps first.
• Not Amish Paul writes:
Hey Joe, excited to see you are coming to my town, Sarasota. I know it’s a family vacation, but we have a lot of your readers around here that would love to buy you a beer! A lot of really good restaurants as well!!
My parents are from Holmes County, Ohio where a lot of the Amish live. I was never Amish but my parents were and most of my relatives still are. I read your column every day, keep up the good work!!
Btw, I was on one of those floating tiki huts in the Keys. I had to do the one-handed, lean against the bar while peeing in a cup deal!! Have a great day.
Kinsey:
Now that's a whirlwind email. I was reading about the Amish stuff and all of a sudden there's this quick pivot to Not Amish Paul bringing back the tiki hut conversation. That's why I keep getting up early in the morning. You just never know where the readers are going to take things.
The Grilling Game heading into the Summer of '23
• Noted grillmaster Guy G. in western New York writes:
Travel, again, has limited my reading, and now will go back to find out about the grill debate, to make sure I’m up to date. If there is anything I’m great at, its cooking with fire!
Jason made the right choice, by getting both. For those of us with options like Jason, I have a recommendation. Fire up your smoker, and have seasoned steaks ready to go. Smoke your steaks to about 110*, and turn on the Blackstone. Get that thing screaming hot!! Once your steaks hit 125-130*, sear each side for 10-15 seconds to get to your doneness, and let rest.
Better than steakhouse steaks! Works for pork too.
Do you like LIV Golf?
• Mike T. in Idaho writes:
This last weekend, I was able to watch my first golf coverage of LIV golf on the CW. Couple of comments, I thought the CWs coverage was good, not great but better than I expected. Second, I thought the golf was pretty good. Really enjoyed the team portion of play and I thought the format kept everyone involved.
The course wasn’t particularly hard for professionals and they were firing at the holes.
I wondered what Screencaps nation thought of the LIV?
Kinsey:
Personally, I don't know where CW is even at on YouTubeTV. Do I need to go through the process of downloading the CW app, installing, verifying through my phone, etc.?
And I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get real invested in a tournament when all of the guys were given a huge pile of money. I'm still a fan of some nobody coming out of the PGA pack and contending while guys in the top 10 battle it out for the win.
I'm talking about one of those guys staying at the Comfort Inn and being so close to life-changing money only to have Scottie Scheffler rip his soul right out of his chest while I'm in and out of sleep in the recliner on a Sunday after a long day of gardening.
Have any of you picked up 'Ultra Right' beer?
I need beer reviews from you guys. How does this beer taste? How does it make you feel? Does it make you feel "Ultra Right?"
Brianna Ruffalo IS BACK
• L.A. Don (I guess he's in L.A. because he's taking screenshots of this morning's traffic report) writes:
She’s back again! Smoke show-ing weather today…
Kinsey:
I'm not sure where Brianna's been. Here I figured she works Mon-Fri. unless she's on vacation. I have to trust Don on this one. One of the GOATs of the Instagram weather game IS BACK.
That's it. Let's get after it today. The sun is shining here in Ohio. I don't have coaching duties and it's a full-bore mowing night with post-mowing beers on the horizon.
Go give 110% out there today. Yes, I used 110% to fire up the "You can't give more than 100% effort" crowd. Get fired up!
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com