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Hockey Goalie Mikayla Demaiter Goes Country, Donald Trump’s Hole-In-One & Will Smith-Chris Rock Memes

I can’t stop laughing at all the Will Smith-Chris Rock feud pearl-clutching by the entertainment analysts

Now, I know what you guys are thinking: What were you doing watching that lib lib woke rocket fuel Oscars when there are a million other things to watch?

Never forget that I work in the entertainment content business, and I need to have my eyes on things like the Oscars in case an actor loses his damn mind and goes on stage to smack a presenter over a joke about his wife’s shaved head. Was the joke out of bounds? I guess so because Will Smith walked up and smacked the shit out of Chris Rock as my TV was locking up because the censors were smashing the panic button which sent my AT&T UVerse feed chaos.

Here’s my big takeaway from last night’s smack — Will Smith broke new ground at awards shows. There’s always a trailblazer who causes pop culture to evolve and now we have precedent. We have a misdemeanor assault on the books, and now it’s time for some triggered actor or athlete to take things to the next level at some other awards show.

Will we see LeBron take a baseball bat to a comedian’s legs at the ESPYs? As a content guy, I hope so.

By now, you guys should know how I roll with this stuff. Chaos. The Oscars are now pretty much MTV’s VMAs, and this is exactly what Hollywood deserves. Sign me up for more of this. Give me some leading lady curb-stomping Amy Schumer over some stupid joke.

On numbers

• Pete G. wraps up Sweet 16 weekend with some numbers for you guys to use in group texts today:

Was in Vegas for March Madness this past weekend. Place was crazy. Nothing like it. Here are some men’s NCAA basketball numbers for you with a couple women’s stats thrown in. 

0 – Number of teams ranked #1 on January 1st that won the men’s national title the past 10 years. 
0 – Number of times Duke and North Carolina had played each other in the NCAA tournament before this year. 
1 – Number of times all 4 teams that made the final 4 had multiple national titles (this year is the first time ever)
1 – Number of teams lower than a 12 seed to make the Elite 8 in NCAA history. St. Peters is the first. 
2 – Number of women who have scored a 20/20 double-double in a women’s NCAA tournament game (Aliyah Boston of South Carolina this year, Brittany Griner before her). 
3 – Number of #1 ranked teams knocked out before the Elite 8 this year for first time since 1995.
3 – Number of NCAA National Championships for both Kansas and Villanova, both seeking number 4
5 – The ACC was rated as only the 5th best conference this year and only got 5 teams in the dance. Have gone 13-3 so far and will have a team in the Championship game. Might need to check the math on those NET rankings…
5 – Number of NCAA National Titles that Duke has, looking for #6
5.96 – Price of gas per gallon in Las Vegas this past weekend – Thank You Brandon…
6 – Number of NCAA National Titles North Carolina has, looking for #7
8 – North Carolina is an 8 seed and in the Final 4, The only other 8 seed to ever win a title was Villanova back in 1985. 
9 – Number of teams from the Big-10 in the Dance and number of actual wins as they only went 9-9. 
10 – Number of consecutive NCAA tournament game wins by Stanford’s women’s basketball team right now. 
12 – Previous lowest Seed to ever get to the Elite 8 until St. Peters this year. (Oregon St. last year was the most recent)
13 – Number of Final 4 appearances for Coach K. 
15 – Seed St. Peters had this year in getting to the Elite 8
16 – Number of Final 4 appearances for Kansas.
19 – Number of missed 3 pointers by Houston in their loss to Villanova (shot 1-20) 
21 – Number of years since the University of Arizona men’s team has been to the Final 4. Can you say ‘overrated’. 
21 – Number of Final 4 appearances by North Carolina
22 – Number of tournament appearances by Gonzaga without winning a title. Most of any non-winner. 
28.8 – Shooting percentage for Villanova in their WIN over Houston.
31 – NET ranking for North Carolina this season, yet here they are in the final 4.
80 – Number of teams that have been to the Final 4 since the last time the University of Arizona was there. 
98 – Ranking of St. Peters in the KenPom rankings.
124 – Ranking of Elite 8 team St. Peters in the NET ranking.  

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After that awesome email, I had to go back to research Pete’s other contributions and it turns out Pete wrote back in September about how his fantasy football league was starting its 34th season. Now it all adds up that Pete would send in an awesome ‘Numbers’ email for Screencaps. The guy clearly loves sports, stats and Vegas.

Now I’ll be expecting a ‘Numbers’ report from Pete after the Final Four. This is the kind of stuff people stop to read. Great work, Pete.

The lesson in Pete’s ‘Numbers’ is to be careful betting against the ACC making it to the Final Four. The ‘Numbers’ don’t lie.

On Monday mornings and the American spirit

• Sean K. got up this morning and fired off this email at 6:42 a.m. to remind all of us that we will survive the ridiculous ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ era:

Good morning Joe: Just dropping a line to compliment you on all the amazing content packed into Screencaps over the past month or so. I’m with the fellow reader who can barely keep up with all the great stories on dogs, baseball coaching advice, food, Craftsman commentary, March Madness, and everything else. I’m especially liking reader movie review idea: I plan to see ‘Dog’ based on Greg S.’s review alone.

I must also say the developing epic story of Reid S. & his neighbor’s pool project has got me hooked. Here is the classic ‘everyman’ conundrum: How do I help my neighbor out without my yard being sent back to the Stone Age in the process? I just think it’s awesome that while Reid is rightfully trying to protect his fabulous yard, he’s also intent on keeping the ‘Good Neighbor’ bond intact. A tricky tightrope to walk with a pool project this massive! Here’s hoping it all works out.

A final thought: Know things are tough and getting tougher with grocery shelves bare, lumber & DIY project material prices exploding, fuel prices hitting record highs, etc. Living thru the ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ era is probably going to make stagflation under Jimmy Carter seem like a cakewalk.

But I’ll say this: I have great faith in America coming thru this stronger than ever for two reasons. First, as your coverage of FC Charlotte’s inaugural soccer game showed, Americans of all colors and creeds gathered for sporting events will willingly belt out the National Anthem at a moment’s notice.

And second, guys like Bill L.: He’s brewing his own beer and then opens up his garage to his neighbors so they can grab a glass or a growler as needed. THAT is the spirit that will get us thru all of this. 

As always, keep doing what you are doing!

On the Lodge Cast Iron Store near Chattanooga, Tennessee

• Joe M. writes:

As the summer approaches and people start taking road trips, I have to give a shout-out to the Lodge Cast Iron Factory Store in South Pittsburg, TN. I was driving from ATL to Nashville for a project and found the store amidst all the fireworks warehouses. As anybody that tailgates at LSU will tell you, you can never have enough cast iron.

It’s a small store, but they sell “pitted” (go ahead and try to find the imperfections!) cast iron and have a wide range of great stuff like commemorative skillets with cool designs (Cornbread Festival 2010!) at super cheap prices. I drove through there three or four times and always left with what felt like hundreds of pounds of corn stick pans, camp-style dutch ovens, butter melting pots, etc.

It is in between ATL and Chattanooga, the scenery is beautiful, and you know the little town needs every dollar anyone spends there. I bet that most of the readers don’t know that the area from TN to Birmingham contains the magic duality of materials to produce steel, in that they have iron and coal in nearly the same location. Lodge isn’t just what belongs in every fishing or hunting camp in the US (enameled is made in China, but the seasoned cast iron is made in Tennessee.) Lodge is America.

Play some Ted Nugent and buy a few hundred pounds of the stuff while you pass through.

On early-season mowing

• Mark W. in Tennessee writes:

I know I committed a foul by doing this on Friday instead of Thursday, but the schedule didn’t cooperate. Anyway, the first stripes of the season are down and I am looking forward to my sophomore year in the TNML. 

Keep up the great work,  Commissioner!

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Mark’s yard always has me thinking about Wiffle ball home run derby and how I could stay out there all day trying to mash electrical tape Wiffle balls over those trees.

• Mark adds:

I don’t think these guys will make it through the season, though. 4 strong years from them.

####

It’s time for Mark to give his gamers a proper sendoff. They’ve given years of service, but now it’s time for another pair to step up.

• Danny W. writes:

Writing to you from the Socialist State of Minnesota. I’m probably still about a month away from my inaugural season in the League. Pray that this ice rink melts quickly. I’ve still got 10 inches of ice in the corners and about 3 inches closest to the house. I need a good 50 degree day with 90 mph winds to really nuke this thing. Love reading SC.

On random stuff

• Ron L., who used to live here where I live before he moved to Georgia, writes:

Hope you enjoy another cold weekend in the ‘Burg.

1) About baseball coaching, when my son was in coach-pitch, our head coach was 6’5″ and lefty.  Led the league in strikeouts!!  

2) TV sitcoms.  Say what you want about cartoons, but South Park still brings it! 

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Dang, look at Ron taking a shot at me because it’s cold up north. Passive-aggressive Will Smith smack right there!

Let me say, Saturday was a great day to hit the indoor simulator to play the Tour of Texas — one hole from 18 different courses across the Lone Star State — under blue skies and perfect indoor golf temperatures. Did I mention the indoor simulator owner sells Busch Light bottles? Oh yes, he does. And they’re like $1.75.

I had one birdie (gimmes set on 9 ft to keep the game moving), five pars, multiple blowup holes, and a bunch of laughs. Take that, Ron!

And with that, let’s get the week rolling along. It’s a bright sunny day, it’s supposed to snow Wednesday morning then the temps are supposed to rise all the way to the low 70s and then rollercoaster back down. It’s just going to be one of those weeks across the country where you pick your battles and get those projects done before the real fun begins — Masters week!

Have a great Monday.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

3 Comments

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  1. How come ??? … Every picture of “that hockey girl with the large …. ” – OK, you know the one …. looks likes someone is threatening to kill her little dog unless she poses for a picture ???
    .
    The Will Smith / Chris Rock Thing was staged to divert the planet’s attention – for at least an hour – from the UNC v Duke Game next Saturday.
    .

  2. Joe… God bless you, man.. FINALLY, you are coming around to the “real breasts are best” club! YES, give me an athletic body with a nice A/B cup and I’ll tell you THAT is a real woman! Lemme tell you the best part about an A/B gal: when she’s 50, her tits are right where her Momma’s DNA put them 35 years ago!

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