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Opening Day is canceled, but there’s a soccer game to take its place and it’s just another Saturday around here

This is an abbreviated Saturday Screencaps because it’s one of those days when there’s an early soccer game and I have a million things to do now that it stopped raining and the sun is out. Seriously, it stopped raining. As I type, the sun is shining on the right side of my face and it’s not even 8 a.m. I cannot remember the last time that happened and it feels so damn good.

Before I go any further, I need to tell you guys about my Friday night at the elementary’s Family Fun Night. I volunteered to work the ticket sales booth which sits at the entrance. I was in charge of ripping off tickets while some lady took the money. That was the hardest hour of volunteer work I’ve had in at least a decade.

Do you guys know how it feels to have a father of four walk up and buy 80 tickets and wipe out my stockpile of 10-ticket strands? Seriously deflating. But it just forced me to get focused and start ripping off 10-ticket strands faster, stronger, faster, more tickets. More. More.

And then there was drama over the $5 inflatable wristbands being useless because of the 40-mph winds canceling the inflatables. And then there were the people who wanted $8 in tickets while handing a $10 to the cashier. JUST BLOW THE $10… IT’S FOR THE PARENTS’ ORGANIZATION TO DO THINGS FOR THE KIDS!

Volunteering for a Family Fun Night full of games like Plinko, duck races, inflatable basketball, darts, and balloon animals was definitely an eye-opener on dealing with the public, but I’m glad to have helped out.


  1. It was absolutely packed well beyond the level of packed in 2019 when the last Family Fun Night was held. From the look of things, there was pent-up demand for a Family Fun Night since COVID came to town.
  2. We saw people maskless that we swore would never be in such an environment let alone without a mask. Maybe this whole COVID mental thing is subsiding a little bit.
  3. I was shut out in the raffle prize department. That was a major disappointment because we’re talking high-end suburban elite raffle prize packs.
  4. The Middle Eastern taco food truck, Baba’s Eats, pumped out the best food I’ve had in this town all year. I’m going to be chasing this food truck around town all summer.
  5. It nearly brought a tear to our eyes to see our 5-year-old excited and skipping down the school hallway realizing he’ll be going to that school in the fall. You’re damn right I was tearing up over the thought of being done paying for all-day preschool. That house payment is about to come off the books.

My next volunteer assignment is the upcoming school field day.


• Some are saying my dad is Greg Norman. I’m not seeing it.

It’s officially morel mushroom season here in Ohio and northern Michigan’s fertile soil won’t be too far behind especially with temperatures in Gaylord, MI expected to hit 88 this week. Go get your hands on those hogs!

According to the latest prices from Northwest Wild Foods, 4 lbs. of morels will run around $190 this season. I can’t remember the price per pound around here, but I seem to think it was in the $50/lb. range the last time I was in our local market.

It’s that time of year

• Paul B. writes:

Joe…are we under siege?


Stay the course, folks. It’s that time of year when you’re called a bee killer, an enemy of Mother Nature, an asshole because you don’t think about the planet, blah, blah, blah. This is going to last for 2-3 weeks before all the pains in the ass wear themselves out and those of us who take care of our little piece of the planet go on living our lives.

You ever notice how the bee saviors never go after China for the absolute sludge it pumps into the atmosphere? Hey assholes, go protest at the Chinese consulate. Call them Mother Nature haters. Target them with Facebook posts, you nutjobs. They’re clearly doing more to the planet than Keith in Wisconsin who tore out a row of wildflowers for a concrete patio project.

Nebraska beer

• After that elementary school volunteer assignment, I came home and went into the man cave to watch golf and hockey and suck down two of the Zipline Brewing Co. Dear Old Nebraska brews that Bill L. mailed to me this week.

I’m not just saying this because Bill sent them — these beers are seriously crushable. It’s no wonder they’re the official beer of Nebraska alumni because this is a tailgating lager that doesn’t disappoint. I’ve been to one Nebraska game in my life (2008) and that was with my buddy whose cousin, Tim Hiller, who parlayed his schooling into becoming a Chick Fil A owner, was starting for Western Michigan. We parked and made it approximately 50 yards before a tailgating group invited us into their party in front of some old warehouse.

We hit the shot-ski and learned all about Nebraska and stayed until kickoff. It was a great Saturday.

I’d definitely let the Nebraska Brew into my summer patio beer rotation. That’s quite an honor.

And with that, the sun and fresh air is calling my name. Have a great day at those soccer games, the baseball fields, and wherever the roads take you across this great country.

Take care.


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Written by Joe Kinsey

Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America.

Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league.

Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.


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  1. One could argue that’s how many toilets look after a night of garage beers and a late night run to taco bell. Would not want to be on the receiving end of that lightning strike … jeez!

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