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Hockey Goalie Mikayla Demaiter As The Easter Bunny, A Goose Jumps Out Of Stone Cold’s Z71 & Vandy Spring Game Ends In A Tie

Weekend recap & the art of finding a parking spot at Costco

I want to start this with something I saw on a former coworker’s Facebook timeline the other day. Larry wrote about losing his father in 2021 and how he’d been going to a therapist to get his head right over the loss. One thing that stuck with Larry was a question the therapist presented to him: “What do you do for fun?”

Larry writes:

Not “What do you like to do?”

Not “What makes you happy?”

Not “How do you spend your free time?”

What he was asking is “What do you do, for yourself, that brings you joy, like you used to experience when you were a child, free of responsibility?”

It stopped me in my tracks because this simple exercise is something I’ve been hitting on with the “What brings you joy?” question I’ve been asking readers for the last several months. No, I haven’t been reading self-help books full of 101 deep questions to ask Internet readers.

These days, golf is my fun. I’m no good, but we all have to fill our roles on the golf course. We need to know when to provide comic relief for the A-players and when to celebrate our successes like an A-player while never forgetting we’ll never be A-players. The most important thing for me right now with golf is solitude. It’s just four guys out in the woods slapping around a golf ball and not sitting in front of a computer screen.

Now, let’s go to the “joy” portion of the self-help. It might sound bizarre, but Costco road trips with my five-year-old are joyous these days. He’s being taught the art of finding the perfect parking spot well away from the mass of cars who need to park their massive SUVs as close to the front door as possible on a beautiful 58-degree Saturday.

I love the questions about why we have to park way in the back right next to a cart corral. I love to explain how I’m all about the low-stress Costco runs where I don’t have to dodge Chevy Suburbans because we’re three rows over from the maniacs trying to navigate 10-passenger vans around Dodge RAMs.

Then we roll into the store and my son has his theories on why we need one of everything. We zip in and out of the plants that are being sold three weeks too soon and make our way over to the pool stuff that’s being sold 6-7 weeks too early. No toys this week, buddy. Then it’s over to the quiet and solitude of the air fryer aisle, up to the new toilets, spin around the next aisle to see what’s going on in the lighting section. Then it’s a nice, smooth trip up the far wall to the fruit and vegetable cold freezer where my son does damage on the fruits.

Onward through the baked goods…holy crap those muffins look incredible! Through the racks of ribs…the rotisserie chickens!

There’s the hunt for the best Sample Saturday offerings and the obligatory search for the Air BBQ 2022 Kirkland Air Lights, but alas the shelves are offering up $14.99 slip-on patio shoes that I snap up for formal summer outings.

We get our receipt — the kids are always in charge of handing it to the retiree at the door — and we are released into the wild of massive SUVs lining up to haul off their new 75″ Samsungs.

Pure joy. Now I just need to find a Kirkland Signature dad sweatshirt like the guy checking cards was wearing.

Odd texts out of left field after I’d had a couple of Garage Beers®

From my brother:

My brother is NUTS. There’s a 0.0% chance his 5-year-old nephew is looking to part with any Legos. Is it hard to find random Legos these days?

TNML member needs your help

• Matt S. in Madison, WI writes:

Looking for help from the seasoned vets of the TNML crew: 

I’ve got 3 dogs and so many patches to fix (particularly around my deck stairs). I was planning on getting some topsoil down before reseeding to patch some spots, but the neighbor and I are also booked to rent an aerator for Saturday. 

My question for the group is should I be patching spots with the topsoil first or should I aerate then patch things up?

Thanks for all you do! I’m unfortunately out for the golf outing as baby #2 is due the weekend before. However, my wife is all in on TNML as she’s officially added “Poop Clean Up” to the Wednesday family calendar and “Mow” on Thursdays… it’s like when your artwork makes it to the family fridge!!

####

I’m going to leave that great question for the experts on here with insane-looking properties. I’m going straight to Matt’s wife instituting “Poop Clean Up” Wednesdays to the calendar. It’s great to see the wives understanding and appreciating the structure of TNML and how it frees their husbands from spending their weekends doing these tasks.

You’re welcome, ladies.

Then Saturdays turn into margs on the cantina patio — or maybe on your own patio — while wearing the most comfortable shirt on the planet. Get yours today!

https://www.outkick.com/shop/layin-stripes/
https://www.outkick.com/shop/thursday-night-mowing-league-cups/

Send help for Matt and I’ll forward it on: joekinsey@gmail.com

On TNML sticker placement

• Louis M. writes:

Awwwww yeah!!!

Got the TNML Sticker proudly displayed on the ole Coleman that travels with me everywhere, AND I got a bed full of FREE sod.

It’s all coming up roses….

Enjoy the Easter Weekend SCREENCAPS NATION

• Jon U. writes:

I have a couple of topics to mention.  First, I received the TNML sticker this week.  Thanks for sending that out!   I’ve now switched to Thursday late afternoon for my 15 minutes of mowing which has worked out well because trash day is Friday morning and they take the grass bags too. 

My question that I’m pondering is where to put my sticker.  One option is on my lawnmower itself as many of your readers have done.  However, no one but me ever really sees my mower in detail.  My wife certainly doesn’t.  I’m thinking that I should put it on my main Yeti cooler with the thinking being that it would be visible when I reach in for a freshly-squeezed brewski.  Also, I take the Yeti to places like the beach and when we take our RV places.  It would have much greater opportunities to be admired on the Yeti, in my opinion.  What do you think?

Second comment was related to Dan B in Ritzville, WA.  Loved his idea but felt like them having their bowling alley closed in a place like Ritzville must have been a real kick in the old n*tsack.  The fact that they would have to insert Corn Hole seemed like a step-down.  I wonder if they tried any sort of crowdsourced fundraising like Go Fund Me to get the old bowling alley lit back up.  This seems like one of those stories that Charles Kuralt would have covered back in the 80s for your readers old enough to remember him.  Anyhow, I hope for the best for the Ritzville Triathlon participants.

####

You do you, Jon. Some guys look at their mowers as their race cars and they want sponsors on them for those post-mow photo sessions like the mower is an IG model. By all means, show off that league sticker at the RV parks and on the beach.

On Thunder Over Louisville

• Tony C. in Louisville writes:

Joe – can’t tell you enough how grateful I am for you and the screencaps community – you continue to inspire!

An event for you – you may think, being Louisville Lobbyist Tony C. that I’m going to talk you into the Kentucky Derby – wrong!  The Derby is for tourists and C-List celebrities.  (Don’t get me wrong, we appreciate their tourism dollars…)

What you want to be here for is Thunder Over Louisville.  It’s the kickoff to the two weeks party before the Derby that us locals get to enjoy before all the madness descends for the fastest 2 minutes in sports.  Probably too short of a timeline for this year, but perhaps next year you can bring the family down.  I’ve got a guest room, comfy basement couches, and a kegerator for entertaining a lot of fellow neighborhood TNML fans if you make the trip!

With that said, I know it’s a late submission for week 1, but given that my yard is making its first start after last year’s trip to the IR, I’d say things didn’t turn out too bad.  Laid down some peat moss and new seed for a topdressing, and got in a great cut before the rains came tonight.  Look forward to more stories from great Americans all across the country as we share in our mowing adventures!

On getting your varsity letter

• Mark W. in Tennessee writes:

Commissioner,

The TNML sticker came and I am proudly displaying it and celebrating with a Tennessee Brew Works blond ale. Gosh, I  feel like I have earned my first varsity letter and I am so happy to show it off to the other guys in the neighborhood. Thanks again. 

####

And with that, I think we’re ready to roll this week. Not to go all therapy session, but let’s continue to look inside ourselves to figure out what we do for fun and what brings us joy. If this mowing thing is causing you to have fun, then let’s keep it rolling.

Have a great day across this great country. Now go give ’em hell at your day jobs. I have a work Zoom meeting to jump on.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

Numbers from :

https://twitter.com/BrandonSaho/status/1515831048273281036

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

2 Comments

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  1. OK … ever how many times you have featured “Big Hockey Goalie Girl” … 6-7 times at least … she has yet to even consider A FREAKIN’ SMILE ! I realize most guys’ attention goes elsewhere with BHGG but geeezzz …
    .
    I’m sorry the coyotes ate her little dog … but GET OVER IT ….
    .

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