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You have like 8 hours to let me know if you can make it to Sunday’s Bengals-Steelers game

In case you were in jail Wednesday, driving across the country, on a different planet, etc., I announced that there’s a club-level ticket up for grabs to Sunday’s Bengals-Steelers game. (1) ticket IN PITTSBURGH.

I’m going.

Screencaps lifer Tom H. in Indiana, who is a Steelers fan, and three of his life-long buddies will be there as well. We’ll do a summit at a bar around the stadium.

My only request is if you commit, you commit. Tom was gracious enough to provide the tickets. The last thing I want is for someone to flake out on the Screencaps summit. Make sure you go over this with your wife. Don’t just spring it on her Saturday night and have it lead to drama. You don’t need that heading into the holidays. I don’t need to be the bad guy for your wife. I have enough trouble getting away for Bengals benders this time of year.

I’m giving you guys about 8 more hours to express interest. There’s a list of takers growing by the minute. It’s now or never.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

(Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

What the hell is this?

• Great American Walt J. writes:

Came across this while channel-surfing – TV Land right before Gunsmoke. Sad. I enjoy Screencaps – keep up the good work.

Warnings before old shows might be one of the most woke things I’ve ever seen. Do we start adding warnings before walking into a library? Maybe those exist and I just haven’t heard about them yet.

“You’re walking into a library where books contain outdated cultural depictions.”

Or perhaps those books have been removed.

Here we gooooooooo again with chili

• Daniel in Dallas, GA is just trying to set off a huge war heading into Thanksgiving week:

Regarding the chili conversation, I’m proud to say that nothing beats a plate of Cincinnati chili served over some steaming hot noodles topped with a big pile of cheese. This is the chili of my childhood, as I grew up outside of Cincy, and now of my own children.

Some of the best years of my life were spent watching the ’90 Reds, eating a plate of coneys from Skyline, and washing it down with a UDF milkshake.

That being said, while I spent my childhood in Cincinnati as a die hard Reds fan (still am), I was born in Alabama. Roll tide all day, we’ll be back next year. Interested in how Buckeyes are made? See image below.

While we’re having a conversation about people from Cincinnati and Ohio State, most outsiders don’t realize that people from Cincinnati hate Ohio State. Now, Daniel has roots in Bama so it makes sense he’s a Bama fan, but it’s very common for people with a 513 area code to HATE Ohio State.

I say that to east and west coasters and they’re stunned. It’s true, the minute you pass Middletown, OH or so on I-75 you are into Ohio State hatred territory.

And I might have to ban Daniel from emailing about UDF milkshakes because I’m like 120 miles north of the nearest UDF and suckin’ down an extra thick milkshake is going to be on the brain today.

Gisele

• Tommy in Texarkana, Texas is having a big email week. He writes:

Just one simple comment.  Jizzelle is absolutely bonking the karate kid.  We all know it.  

Does anyone seriously not think that??

Have a great rest of your hump day!

As hard as Team Gisele is pushing back has me convinced her and Joaquim have practiced some leg locks in the sack. I 100% agree with Tommy in Texarkana.

Screencaps appreciation society

• Greg O’C writes:

Hey Joe – wanted to thank you for the great job you do on Screencaps. I can’t say that there is a better site to enjoy Sports, sites and funny stuff. The t-shirts are great as well.

I am a former NY’er from West Point area and have relocated to Sun City, SC outside of Hilton Head. Miss the fall a little but no more leaves and snow and golf year round.

If ever in area, you are more than welcome to stop by and crush some beers and golf.

Enjoy the rest of week and Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

Listen here, Greg O’C, you have no idea how hard Louie in Savannah is pushing for me to get down that way. I promised Louie that it’s at the top of my list. I have friends down that way who swear by Savannah and it’s beyond time to spend a week drinking on Greg’s bar tab and playing bad golf.

• Bruce R. writes:

I have to add my appreciation of Screencaps. Until it and Outkick showed up, I did not follow the perpetual blather of ESPN and others, but find Outkick and especially Screencaps an enjoyable daily diversion. I think you hit the nail on the head with your analysis of why Screencaps works, you discuss life without the rancor of social media and focus on what people are interested in. I get a kick out of the variety of focus, who doesn’t like sports, food, home chores and looking at nice looking things. It also does not hurt that you are based in the Midwest, so your frames of reference and experiences are familiar (born and raised in Indiana and live in Akron, OH area). 

Also, wanted to update your 85″ TV question with a similar offer, but a Samsung, from Sam’s Club in their pre-Black Friday mailer.

Thanksgiving Eve

Since you guys have been sharing Thanksgiving Eve stories, I thought I’d share a Thanksgiving night story from way back in the day when I met a buddy of mine for beers & wings at Frickers in Vandalia, OH. I assume football was on. It was just a normal night suckin’ down drafts and hanging with a buddy when all of a sudden there’s commotion in the parking lot and some guy got stabbed right outside the building.

We’re talking a legitimate stabbing. Ambulance. Police. It was a whole scene.

Don’t let your guard down on Thanksgiving, especially at a Frickers in Vandalia, OH!

There we were, not married, no kids, just trying to get away from our parents to watch sports and some guy gets stabbed. Pure chaos.

And then the next morning I woke up with horrible food poisoning. Never trust a sports bar kitchen that opens up at 5 on Thanksgiving night. Those wings weren’t cooked to 165 degrees.

• Pat in Spokane, Washington (I love when Screencaps covers all four corners of this country…the haters said OutKick would never find readers outside the south) writes:

It isn’t a Thanksgiving Eve bar story but a Christmas Eve bar story.  I went to college in New Orleans many years ago and I used to stay for Christmas (my father suddenly died Christmas Eve when I was 12 years old, so Christmas wasn’t that special until I had kids).

Anyways, I worked as a bartender in college and during the day the place was an Uptown New Orleans rich older guy’s bar with lots of regulars and then at night it was a college bar.  Great place and really fun.  Well, every Christmas Eve they would have a squirt-gun party.  The owner and all the employees would put plastic over everything that we didn’t want wet and for 3 hours all the regulars would come in to have a squirt gun fight and drink.  You couldn’t do that today because of liability issues but back then we did it and it was an absolute blast.

Love Screencaps and I know somebody pointed this out but Hildee has been covering up the bellybutton.  

• Brandon C. in Pinckney, MI writes:

Your section about Thanksgiving Eve as bar night triggered a memory from my college days that I think is 100% screencap appropriate. Buckle up, this is an epic. 

Back in my college days, I had a crew from high school that mostly stayed together through email and other comms. We were from northern Detroit suburbs and we distributed out to the normal colleges — 4 or 5 of us (me included) went to UM, another 4 or 5 went to MSU, 3-4 went to directional Michigan colleges (central/western/eastern), and a couple to local commuter or community colleges. We were all active in intramural sports at our colleges and Thanksgiving break usually coincided with the end of flag football season at our alma maters. 

After our freshman year, we all decided to get together the Wed morning at the local park in the neighborhood that most of us grew up in and play a little tackle football game like we used to in middle and high school. Our neighborhood growing up was a sports fans dream- we had a core group of about 20 boys that were within 2 years age of each other and we loved sports. We setup our own basketball leagues, whiffleball leagues, and creek hockey leagues with teams, drafts, stat leaderboards in garages, homemade t shirt jerseys, etc. It was awesome. 

Anyway, so we get together for a game of 6 on 6 football with subs, first downs, a couple guys brought some pirate adult beverages from dorm room leftovers, and we started about 10am. The game ended up going about 90 minutes and by the end, it was being played as intense as any varsity sports event I ever played in high school. It was a one score game, and we decided to play ‘next TD wins’. We ended up going for 15 minutes more with bone rattling tackles. We scored on a FB dive to tie it up and decided to go for 2 for the win. It came down to a miracle conversion pass by my team that bounced off the opponents hands into my receiver and he fell into the endzone. The guy who missed the INT that probably would have been a pick six was a couple beers toasty and he was so pissed he ran over to this small seedling tree and tried punching it- he ended up breaking off a small limb and throwing it at my guy who caught the game winning conversion. My guy picks up the limb and starts parading down the field with it chanting “old wooden stick! Old wooden stick!” Our team leaves the park with this piece of wood like a Tennessee FG post. 

We all headed to Don Cherry’s bar in Windsor, ON for drinks that night (we were 19-20 yr old and grew up in Detroit – this is what you did when the drinking age across the border was 19 and all you needed was a driver’s license to cross). My buddy, the TD guy, brings the stick with him, but now he’s taken a sharpie to it and wrote the score on it. So we’re a group of about 2 dozen American kids in Canada, drinking beers and talking about a tackle football game in a park and a stupid stick from hours earlier, at the cost of ignoring our girlfriends or Canadian hotties nearby. By the end of the night, we all agree on a rematch the next year.

Following year comes, and we play football again, same park, about the same teams, but now we’ve got spray paint sidelines, and our opponents have a playbook. They end up beating us by two touchdowns, and my buddy brought the stick back, our opponents rush over and grab it from us at the end of the game, and start parading around with it. We end up at the bar that night, a new score has been added to the main part of the stick in different color sharpie, and The Battle for the Old Wooden Stick was born. 

We ended up playing 3 more versions of the Old Wooden Stick (including a special Xmas break blood feud rematch in a snowstorm), same park, same day and time, generally the same teams. Ringers were brought in on both sides, the stick itself ended up being shellacked and mounted on a trophy stand by one of the guys who had access to their fraternity suppliers, we matured into US based bars, girlfriends were brought to games, parents started coming with lawn chairs, and playbooks got expanded with wristbands. And every night after the game, the pub taps would be drained dry with tales of that days and years past Old Wooden Stick highlights. 

After most of us graduated in four years, the game stopped being played, but occasionally the core group would see each other on Thanksgiving Eve if it was a year where karma synced up and out of town folks ended up staying at their parents house for Thanksgiving and decided to visit the local watering hole.

And what about the Old Wooden Stick? It still lives… The last holder of it, the guy who scored the game winning TD in the first game now is a local cable TV sports reporter, and every once in a while when he does a feed from his house on Zoom feed, you can see in the background on his bookshelf a weird wooden branch mounted on a block of oak or maple with a brass plaque attached. Those who know, know.

Now that’s a story! I feel like we need to see a screenshot of the reporter guy with the stick in the background and see this story turned into a segment on Fox’s Big Noon Saturday pregame show with Rinaldi narrating.

By the way, RIP to Don Cherry’s Windsor, ON bar. What a place. I was 19 the first time I ever walked into that place and felt what it was like to order Blue drafts. I have incredible memories from Windsor of nights gone by. Some that have never been spoken of since they happened.

And for those of you who loved Windsor, I don’t recommend looking at what has become of that city on Google Earth. The bar scene is gone. It’s sad. Your day will be ruined. Don’t look.

• Mike V. in Seaford, NY writes:

The best Thanksgiving eve nights for me (when I was younger of course) involved a house party with a small group of friends. The few times I went to a bar I found it was one huge amateur night. People who rarely ever drank would go out and either puke after a short time or start a fight.

Plus most places are overcorwded and overpriced. I liked being with people I knew could have a good time and could handle their booze. I feel the exact same way about new years eve.

They are overrated nights to go out on. I am lucky to have a group of like minded friends who could buy a few cases of beer and have a blast watching whatever hockey game is on that night. Thanks Joe and enjoy the game on Sunday.

Traeger vs. Blackstone

• Jim C. in Apache Junction, AZ this time of year writes:

Here is my son Jimmy’s backyard setup.

Starting in the back left: Treager, electric smoker, water smoker, Komodo, Weber charcoal grill, Weber mini-gas grill, Blackstone, charcoal grill.

He likes his meat. His goal is to have them all running at the same time.

It looks like he should add some picnic tables and form his own outdoor restaurant. Maybe a tiki hut. Tunes. Bring your own beers. Boom, the American Dream.

That should do it for the final Thursday before Thanksgiving, for those who aren’t keeping track at home. Guys, I screwed up and didn’t get the Christmas lights up like two weeks ago when it was 75. Now it’s not going to get above freezing all weekend and next weekend is Ohio State-Michigan.

I’m about to pay the price for procrastinating.

Have a great day at work. Give 115%. And then let’s get home for football, bourbons, basements, blankets and maybe a little gambling on sports.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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