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I need to clarify the whole thing about my wife and I buying silverware for each other for Christmas

In Thursday’s Screencaps, I wrote about how my wife and I have reached the point where it’s time to buy silverware and my wife said it should be a gift to ourselves for Christmas. Rann R. read that and wants me to remember how to conduct myself at Christmas

Rann writes:

Giving silverware to your wife for Christmas is nice and serves a purpose, but you really need to also buy her something special and personal. She needs to always know she is first in your heart.

Noted, Rann.

Look, I wasn’t planning on having my wife go out and pick out silverware, then wrap it up, put her name on it and then open it on Christmas morning. We’ll probably open the silverware weeks before Christmas and start pounding meals with those fine new tools.

Have no fear, Rann. My wife is incredibly easy to buy for. She LOVES adventure video games, brutal medieval-themed video games where savages chop off heads, and pretty much any other video game that doesn’t involve sports. That’s not to say I haven’t purchased diamonds in the past. I have.

But my wife isn’t about expensive purses or thousand-dollar trinkets.

Rann, I’ve purchased her things like workbenches & Dremel tools in the past. She makes jewelry, knows how to use a torch, and loves to cut metal. I love to watch sports. She loves a good workshop, as do I, but she’s off doing her own thing out there while I’m thinking about garage beers and driveway firepits.

I completely respect Rann looking out for my best interests here, and I have taken his thought to heart.

She just might get a kick-ass airbrushed welding helmet! Stay tuned, Rann.

Worst big-ticket item you guys ever purchased…

Greg E. writes:

A few years back I had the itch for a “mid-life crisis” car purchase.  Didn’t want a flashy sports car, but I had my eyes on old Jeeps.  I ended up buying a 1967 Jeep from a guy in California and had it shipped to Chicago.  I took delivery near my office and drove it on surface streets to a parking garage, no problems.  Day’s over, and I took my antique Jeep home on Lake Shore Drive.  The engine was running a bit loud, which was putting a damper on my plans to add some sort of audio system (part of the reason I bought it was the total lack of modern amenities).  

About a half-mile from home I notice some smoke in the cabin and the engine noise increased.  I made it to the LSD exit by my place and turned into the parking area near the lakeshore.  Turns out the car was in 4WD the whole drive without me realizing it and I overstressed the engine so badly I cracked the engine block.  Took me another 2/3 of the purchase price and about 5 months to get a rebuilt engine installed, after which I promptly took it for a drive to the ‘burbs and ran out of gas on the highway.  It’s been sitting in my garage ever since while I try to get around to selling it.

Thanks for the great work on Screencaps.

D from Georgia:

I spent a few grand on laser hair removal for my back hair.  If you ever see me at the pool, you’ll know it didn’t work! 

Chris Y:

A 3D TV purchased circa 2009. Price ~ $4k.

The Best Buy guy “forgot” to tell me there were no channels providing 3D content so I watched the 3D promo (that came with the TV) about 100 times wearing a super cool headset.  It was cool but not $4k cool. 

Beau in Toledo:

“Big Ticket Item that turned out to be a disaster” sounds a lot like every episode of the KARDASHIANS

I once voluntarily watched 5 minutes of that show and physically felt my IQ drop… had to watch 30 straight days of HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS to get those points back…

• Norm P. is in the same boat as I am. He just can’t bring himself to buy a Golden Tee unit:

I have been looking at GT units for years also. I can’t pull the trigger!

There is a guy that has the video poker machines (that pay), pool tables, and GT machines all over Huntsville.

I have been trying to get one of his used ones for maybe 1.5 – 2K. Thing is I run into him all the time because a friend and I play GT at different places all over town at least 3 days a week and, the asshole thinks I have money and he won’t come off the 3 grand… Not sure about ordering online, but a new one here in town is 4K. Like you, I’m scared.

I would never live the purchase down when it phucks up!

Let me know if you get one. I’ll bite the bullet then too…

• Beau in Toledo sent along this photo he took this week of the world-famous Toledo Mud Hens ballpark where they’ve ripped up the beautiful green grass because they’re doing an outdoor hockey rink where the local pro team will play games over the Christmas holiday. Years ago, they did this and turned the outfield into a putt-putt course before ripping up the grass.

• Last night, I went out to yank down the Halloween decorations and it hit me — Thursday nights are over until the spring. The finality of it all nearly left me choked up. Then I noticed the dog chewing and hacking on some tree limb and it snapped me out of the moment.

Soon it will be time to Griswold the Christmas lights, start shopping for that welding helmet, and begin heating the garage to give me something to do this winter besides sit around in front of the TV.

I hope to hear from some of you TNML members around the country on how you’ll keep busy this winter. What’s on the tinkering list? How do you pass the time? Any outdoor hockey rink builds going on?

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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