Hannah Palmer Is Back, Suzy Kolber Ready For A Skid Row Show & OBJ Jokes Are Too Easy
A major Gauntlet ruling from the founder of the Gauntlet fantasy football league
Monday, I heard from Rob W. who needed immediate help from the Screencaps email hotline. How was he supposed to rule on ties in a fantasy football league like the Gauntlet where each participant has four teams and the owner with the most wins at the end of the season takes the pot?
I put a call into the Gauntlet founder, Tim L. in Texas, who made an immediate ruling: No win = no points. Sorry Lions and Steelers owners. We only measure winners in the Gauntlet.
BAM! Like Goodell dropping a suspension on Josh Gordon, Tim L. minced no words and broke the hearts of the Lions owners out there who are desperate for a win at this point.
• Moving along, let's bring some peace and tranquility to Screencaps this morning via Indy Daryl:
I can’t help you with your decision between a Traeger or a Blackstone (current Weber Genesis II owner) but I can say grilling in bad weather is generally worth it! Not only was the food delicious (salmon with Special S$&t seasoning) but the view was incredible this evening. Below 35 degrees, spitting snow and rain, is no reason to not grill!!
• The war of words between Mike in Pasadena and Dave M. rolls along as Mike has officially responded to Dave's retort in Monday's Screencaps. This has been quite the battle that started over Dave M. revealing that his wife handles the mowing around his house. What a battle!
Mike's latest comeback:
Let me begin by letting Dave M. know I was born and raised in the west suburbs right outside of Chicago, and I often remind folks I am a midwesterner through and through. I live in California but I am not a "Californian".
Kudos to you Dave M. for having a modern-day "Rosie the Riveter" at home with you. She's carrying quite the load and working out to boot. I'd place a call to Dana White, maybe you can capitalize on all of her "energy".
After further review on the gutters, the ruling on the field is reversed. I still call foul about blowing the leaves onto an adjacent property - whether you own it or not. At some point, it needs to get picked up.
Garage beers - YES, this is what you drink when you're WORKING or just got done WORKING...you know like sharpening your wife's lawnmower blade, or changing the oil on your wife's car...or helping a neighbor with the brakes on his truck...
Cheap Bourbon is what you drink....never.
I'll let the commish or the overall community decide one way or the other here. Happy to see you offer a bribe, I mean offer to pay a potential fine with booze...this I am OK with, my brother played football for the Zips in the late 80's I had some great times on that campus!
All the best Dave M. I do appreciate your definition of progress.
####
Whew, what a war of words!
• Jerry M. has a solution to the Cleveland Indians wanting the Guardians name when there's already a Guardians roller derby team in town. (Ed. note: the Guardians and the Guardians came to an agreement last night that calls for each team to keep the Guardians name. It's unclear if money was exchanged, but as we all know, that's what usually makes these things go away)
Jerry writes:
Cleveland Guardians Roller Derby Team vs. the Cleveland MLB team in a roller derby bout for the Guardians naming rights. To hell with the courtroom! Let's settle this in the arena!
Their name. Their sport. Their turf.
Gary Cole/Jason Bateman reprise their Dodgeball roles as the broadcast team of Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks.
Ok, so billion-dollar might be a bit of a reach but you see where I'm going with this.
Records could fall!
You have connections!
Make! This! Happen!
• Did anyone get their hands on a 9-inch Reese's Cup that Hershey's was selling Monday? We're talking a 7,680 calorie beast that is supposed to be served in 48 slices with each slice containing 160 calories. We're talking a 3 1/4 pound Reese's cup. 3,000 of these pies at $44.99 sold out Monday. Let me know if you're one of the lucky souls who gets to crush one of these beasts.
• I need someone to come up with the next hot topic around here. We've covered so many over the last six months that now I'm opening it up to you guys to let your minds run wild. Grills were a hot topic. Golden Tee machines had their run.
Fire off your topic suggestions. It's dark at 5 p.m. for most of the country. There must be some thoughts running through your heads with that amount of downtime.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
• I'll be out front this afternoon at 4 to battle the leaves before it's midnight black at 5:30. Fire off the emails. I'll read them in the recliner tonight while watching MAC football.