Gwyneth Paltrow Got Ripped On For Wearing Jeffrey Dahmer Glasses To Court

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Actress and vagina-scented candle pioneer Gwyneth Paltrow had to appear in court this week and did so wearing a pair of glasses that got people talking, and not in a flattering way.

Paltrow was in a Utah courtroom because she was accused of “conscious disregard for people” in a skiing accident that left a retired optometrist with a traumatic brain injury. She’s accused of running into him and then continuing to ski down the mountain.

He’s seeking $300,000 in damages while Paltrow is countersuing for $1.

That’s some serious stuff, but for whatever reason, Paltrow rolled into court with a pair of frames that looked right at home on a defendant. This drew attention away from the case at hand and onto the matter of what possessed the Academy Award winner to inadvertently channel Jeffrey Dahmer.

Now, I’m not sure if you’re a crime buff or not, but Jeffrey Dahmer was a bad dude. Like a really bad dude.

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow (left) wearing a pair of glasses that would look right at home on the faces of some of history’s most notorious serial killers. (Getty Images)

Everyone Knows Those Are Serial Killer Glasses… Except For Gwyneth Paltrow, Apparently

There’s a certain style of glasses frame that screams “serial killer.” That doesn’t mean that anyone who wears them is a serial killer, but it does mean that a lot of serial killers wore them.

It’s like how all blueberries are blue berries, but not all blue berries are blueberries.

Of course, Dahmer made them famous, but round, oversized frames have been a serial killer hallmark for quite some time.

Take BTK Killer Dennis Rader for instance…

Not Dahmer big, but in the same zip code.

Here’s another: Dorothea Puente, one of the subjects of the Netflix series Worst Roommate Ever.

Ted Bundy wore big oversized glasses, as did Edmund Kemper, and even descriptions of the Zodiac Killer included giant glasses.

The point here is that 1). serial killers have horrible eyesight and 2). everyone knows about serial killers and giant glasses.

So, why Gwyneth Paltrow would say, “today is the day for the giant frames,” is beyond me. She would’ve gotten ripped on less if she showed up wearing a pair of those Groucho Marx glasses with the mustache attached to them.

Sure, if she was wearing those we’d all be like “what a lunatic” but at least no one would be asking “why is she wearing serial killer glasses?”

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.

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