Gun-Toting Golfer Bri Teresi Stands With Trump, Shohei Ohtani Is The Best Baseball Player On The Planet & Cam's Back
What's the most underrated vacation destination in the United States?
Let me repeat, UNDERRATED vacation destination. Personally, I'm willing to drive about 12 hours. Yes, I would also consider flying. That should open up all sorts of options here. Let your mind go wild. Name those hidden gems. Name those resorts my kids will never forget.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com
• Millennial Chris B. in Bowling Green writes:
Summertime in New England. The coast is what it is but New Hampshire/Vermont/Maine lakes and mountains are a treat. Clear, cold water. Cool nights. Great fishing.
Which songs do you despise because of their use in a TV commercial?
This topic came up this morning in the text group because Canoe Kirk is over in India working his medical research job that takes him from Michigan to New Delhi like 3-4 times a year and he started posting photos of all the dogs napping in the streets.
I wrote: "Don't let Sarah McLachlan see this text group."
Diesel fired back with: "Omg now that song is in my head."
Hold up, let's look at these lyrics for "Angel."
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you feel
My reply: "Had nothing to do about dogs!"
Talk about appropriating a song that makes you think about dogs, but it's actually about "the pain of life and getting away from it all through drugs, with sometimes tragic results."
Ruling: Sarah McLachlan should be banned from using her druggie song to make us feel absolutely miserable about dogs at 3 a.m. while we're slamming those grilled cheese burrito things from Taco Bell.
BTW, this is a good time to vent a little bit on the stupid commercial radio algorithms that have determined the radio listening audience is jonesing for UB40's "Red Red Wine" at least 10 times a day. IT SUCKS. TAKE IT OUT OF THE ROTATION! Quit thinking us 40-year-olds think this is a banger. IT SUCKS.
Red, red wine, stay close to me
Don't let me be alone
It's tearing apart my blue heart
Red red wine, you make me feel so fine
You keep me rockin' all of the time
Red red wine, you make me feel so grand
I feel a million dollar when you're just in my hand
Red red wine, you make me feel so sad
Any time I see you go, it make me feel bad
Red red wine, you make me feel so fine
Monkey pack him Rizla pon the sweet Dep line
The TNML messages just keep coming in
It's a movement that shows no sign of slowing down.
WBC reaction & what's with the price of a haircut?
• John from SD writes:
WBC: I feel this tournament turned out well. I didn’t watch much but kept up with daily updates. Is baseball dead/declining? I’m with you on yes, baseball isn’t as popular and growing within the US youth. On the international stage, the WBC showed baseball is growing rapidly outside of the United States. The fan bases from the international teams (mainly Asian teams) was unbelievable. The WBC also showed the continuous decline of Cuban baseball players, a problematic situation that won’t resolve itself without change on the island.
Inflation: Numbers by me: I got a haircut the other day. Price went up a couple of bucks from the last cut. No big deal for the most part (not like the $8 dozen eggs)!
Screencaps question: Where do you get your hair cut? Traditional barber (straight razor shave on the neck option; the best) or the new “popular” chain non-barber (haircut) shops? The ones with sports or other gimmicks?
Hey business owners, take my money and make it as easy as possible
• Jeremy P. in Alpharetta, GA has a first-world problem that points out a big missed opportunity for the business where he was attempting to spend money:
I’ve got to report a first-world problem Ms. P and I came across this weekend. We needed a fun activity to do with our almost 4-year-old daughter to burn her energy between nap time and bedtime. We decided to go to our local Main Event. If you’re not familiar, it’s similar to a Dave and Busters. They have bowling, pool, a pizza place, and tons of arcade and carnival-style games.
To play the arcade and carnival games all you need is a Main Even Fun Card, which is a pre-loaded credit card with points on it. However, to get said card, you have to stand in the same line with everyone getting bowling shoes, pool cues, etc.
We got there and my daughter was pumped! She was so excited to play the games. That excitement quickly faded when we had to wait in a 45-minute line to get one of these fun cards.
My question to the management of this place is, why not invest in a fun card vending machine for the kids who just want to play arcade/carnival games?? Why have this huge choke point where it takes 15 minutes to process each party in line? I literally waited behind 3 parties who got serviced before me. We just wanted to burn cash and couldn’t do it all because someone needed 10 3/4 shoes instead of settling for an 11.
I know parents have felt this pain and wanted to send this question out to the Screencaps community to see if we can get some traction.
Kinsey:
If you work for Main Event, or own Main Event, can you help Jeremy here? Why is it so hard to spend money in your place? The guy just wants to blow through some money, let his kid be a kid and here he is road blocked by a huge line.
Here's another business idea someone can cash in on: Prize vending machines at Dave & Buster-like places. The kid walks up with his/her they/them gaming card, picks some stuffed animal, the prize vending machine drops the prize, kid/parents are in their cars and heading home.
Prize lines are terrible and the kids can't do quick math so it's a huge disaster at the prize counter.
Streamline it, collect data on the parents and their spending habits, sell the data to the data clearinghouses, make millions.
Who wants to invest?
The Screencaps Age Wheelhouse
• Mike B. from Wisconsin, who wants to make it known he's not some LinkedIn senior VP, writes:
I look forward to reading the column every morning. Keep up the good (aka Lord's) work that you do.
Love the Pizza Hut stuff. Brings back great memories. Sad news is that ours just closed and is now a pharmacy. Boomers need drugs.
Viviana. Wow! I suddenly have the urge to move to Romania. Does the lovely Yanet have some competition??
Age check - 56. Slightly outside of your target demo. But I still act young.
I know I may get my man card revoked, but I pay the neighbor kid to cut my grass. I travel for work and it's just easier.
Adding a basement fridge to the house next month. I am using the previous posts and pictures my motivation to get it full.
We need some folks to share hot tub stories. I just got one in September. Made in thru my first winter. Nothing like drinking beer next to my bikini-clad wife at night in 25-degree weather.
Kinsey:
Look at Mike shot out of a cannon with what I believe is his first email to the inbox. The guy hits all of the main topics and then throws it out there that he's been living the hot tub life with Mrs. B.
This guy is sounding like the Wisconsin version of my buddy Diesel who loves his romantic nights with Mrs. Diesel.
• Barry in Kingston Springs, TN writes:
Just wanted to chime in after reading this morning you believe the average age of your readers is 37-49.
I am a daily reading and will be 71 in April. I enjoy the daily content. Keep it going.
Oh, and I haven't done my own yard in quite a while. But, I do enjoy reading about others and seeing the lawn pics.
Keep it up, young man.
Kinsey:
I knew the "wheelhouse" line from Tuesday Screencaps would raise eyebrows and it wasn't meant as some slight to the Boomers who have helped turn this column into a daily must-read for so many red-blooded Americans who've been waiting for a column like this since Maxim magazine became irrelevant.
Without a doubt, the softest spot in my blogging heart is for the retirees in this community who can't believe there's a place for them that still exists on the Internet. Let's face it, these guys get so tired of hopping on Facebook to see who's died, who's bitching about some restaurant over-cooking their meatloaf or some algorithm "suggestion" that's a photo of downtown in the 1950s.
Barry doesn't want to feel like he's on the cusp of his deathbed. He wants to feel ALIVE & that's why Screencaps is kicking the shit out of the competition, of which there's none.
Seriously, there isn't a Screencaps competitor within sight.
Keep partying with us, Barry.
I rarely step into the sports media analysis world because that belongs to OutKick's Bobby Burack, but I had to laugh at this one
You have to give Bomani Jones (yes, many of you will have no idea who that is) credit for cultivating a career out of being the woke sports professor of Twitter and turning himself into the guy who's hired to prove that a cable network -- now it's HBO -- is all about diversity. Seriously, when in doubt, hire Bomani no matter how bad he fails because then the cable network can say it's diverse and its host uses big words that sound cool to a few thousand people on Twitter.
This headline from Fortune is one of the most absurd headlines written in the last 20 years.
That said, tomorrow, I need all of you to vote in the Woke All-Star Challenge Final Four. I'm pretty sure Bomani is in. All he needed to do was beat cop hater Mark Jones.
Mole Wars
• My buddy Mig in Ohio writes:
I love the banter regarding mole problems. I used to have house on 5 acres and mowed half of it. I battled moles for years with every tip and trick I have seen written about here. Poison, smoke, Grub-x, spring-loaded traps, castor oil, you name it, I tried it. Some minor success was found with a tip from an Amish friend using a standard mouse trap and a 5-gallon bucket. Flatten your tunnels (i had a lawn roller just for this job) and when you see active runs, open a hole in one, place a mouse trap near the opening and put a bucket upside down over the hole and trap, and a cinder block on top of the bucket.
It was the only method where I actually had a confirmed kill, 3 of them in fact. Aside from this minor victory, fighting moles is fighting a losing war. I finally said fuck it and just mowed the lawn with the lawn roller every week and for at least a day I had no visible tunnels. I finally downsized and have a small lot.......... with mole tunnels throughout the back yard.
• Larry from Tennessee writes:
Laughing at some of the mole eradication methods. I’ve tried a couple in the past, but the only one I’ve been successful with is the whack-a-mole strategy. Wait until the ground is wet and stick a garden hose in one of the holes and turn the water on full blast. After the tunnels fill up, wait for the mole to pop out of the hole and whack it with a shovel.
A couple of good hard whacks usually do it. Doesn’t always work, but when it does, bingo. Note, have to wait until the ground is wet or the water will be quickly absorbed and it won’t work if the ground is dry. Tried one of those steel spring-loaded traps once and it didn’t work for me. Haven’t tried those grubs loaded with anti-coagulant that can be ordered online. Good luck and keep up the fight.
German wood
• Mike T. is winding down his European vacation, but he knows a Screencaps topic when he sees one:
Remember in Germany, firewood needs to age 3 years before burning
That's it. We're good for Wednesday.
You're fired up. I'm fired up. Now it's time to go dominate this random day in March.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com