The Freezing Cold Take Report

It’s that time of the week again. Every Wednesday, I post this comprehensive guide highlighting some of the notable unprophetic and wrong predictions and other observations that are relevant to the previous week’s sports news. Let’s begin.

BEST OF THE WEEK

KIRK COUSINS SAGA ENDS

We finally have a resolution after years (literally) of speculation about quarterback Kirk Cousins’s future.  On Wednesday, the Vikings signed the former Redskin to a three year, fully guaranteed, deal worth $89 million.

Cousins cashed in despite the fact that former Panther great, wide receiver and now NFL Network commentator Steve Smith, said back in December, after Cousins played terrible in a loss to the Cowboys on Thursday Night Football, that Cousins “probably cost him between $10-$20 million.”

Also, back in late February, the official ESPN NFL twitter account tweeted this:

I guess they forgot about the Vikings.

Many others missed on Cousins too:

https://twitter.com/johnmgennaro/status/958535277303160832

CONFIDENCE UNREWARDED

No NFL offseason is complete without numerous players confidently blurting out declarations and guarantees that their team will be good the next season.  Unfortunately, by the time the ensuing season begins, certain players aren’t on the team they were touting.  A few players saw this fate last week.

In late February, Packers cornerback Damarious Randall tweeted a message for the rest of the NFC:

On Friday, Randall was traded to the Browns.

After the 49ers won five straight to end the season, running back Carlos Hyde was feeling good about next season:

Hyde signed with the Browns Wednesday.

DOLPHINS REPORTER MISSES BADLY

Long time Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel Miami Dolphins beat writer Omar Kelly, who tweets a lot,  was a tad off the mark in some of his Dolphins analysis related to Dolphins stars DE Ndamukong Suh and WR Jarvis Landry.  Friday afternoon the Dolphins traded Landry to the Browns for a few low draft picks after the sides couldn’t agree to a long term deal. Kelly is known to rub folks the wrong way sometimes, and he may have done so when he answered someone’s question in mid-February about Landry’s future with the Dolphins:

Also worth a revisit is this rather supercilious reply Omar gave to a reader about the Dolphins’ salary cap situation surrounding Suh, who the Dolphins just released on Wednesday:

Then, on Wednesday, just three hours before Browns OL Joe Thomas announced his retirement:

MORE FREE AGENCY FLUBS

With the NFL Free Agency period starting Wednesday, there was a whole bunch of wheeling and dealing done on Monday and Tuesday.  Here are a few more free agency related unprophetic takes:

Former New York Giant offensive tackle Andrew Norwell signed with the Jaguars Wednesday, much to the surprise of a few:

The morning after these tweets were posted, Allen Robinson agreed to sign with the Bears:

More regarding Ndomukong Suh, who the Dolphins released Wednesday:

The Chiefs picked up a wide receiver for Patrick Mahomes when they signed Sammy Watkins Wednesday. Scout Matt Williamson did not think they would do this:

Here’s a tweet from the day before tight-end Jimmy Graham agreed to a 3-year deal with the Packers:

KEVIN OLLIE: FROM STUD TO DUD AT UCONN

After Kevin Ollie led UConn basketball to a National Championship in his second season as head coach of the Huskies, he was a hot commodity who was being courted by numerous NBA teams, including the Lakers.  But he chose to stay at his alma mater, and, in late May, signed a long-term deal with the school. After the deal was announced, Chip Malafronte wrote in the New Haven Register:

“it was painfully obvious that had [UConn Athletic Director Warde Manuel] failed to seal this deal, the repercussions could have dealt a crushing blow to a program that, under Ollie’s direction, has remained relevant against all odds.”

But things did not go as planned. Since the 2014 title, UConn has been to the NCAA Tournament only once. After finishing with a losing overall record for the second straight season, UConn fired Ollie.  Now, UConn basketball is not only irrelevant, but in shambles. Ironically, the crushing blow to the program was the sealing of the deal in 2014 that was supposed keep it on the right track.

TAKE-AVERSARIES

  • On March 9, 2016, Bill Simmons tweeted this hall of fame level cold take:

  • On March 14, 2014, former University of Tennessee Quarterback Erik Ainge sent this tweet about Vol football’s incoming five-star freshman running back Jalen Hurd:

  • On March 12, 2015, Kirk Herbstreit sent this tweet:

KUDOS

  • Kudos to Philadelphia sports radio host Joe Giglio, who sent this tweet last week:

Five days later, Arietta signed a three-year contract with the Phillies worth $75 million.

VAULT IT

  • Legendary newsman Dan Rather predicts that 16-seed Penn will upset 1-seed Kansas in the first round of the NCAA Tournament.
  • Upon hearing that Virginia basketball’s sixth man D’Andre Hunter injured his wrist and is out for the upcoming NCAA Tournament, ESPN’s Jeff Goodman tweeted “to those who took Virginia to win it all: Go ahead and change your brackets. Now.”
  • When asked if she would ever date Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, skier Lindsey Vonn said “never.”
  • ESPN’s John Buccigross thinks Tiger Woods will win at least two tournaments in 2018.
  • ESPN’s College Basketball analyst Jay Williams boldly predicted that no double-digit seeds will make the Sweet 16 of the NCAA Tournament.
  • Clay Travis, Outkick’s fearless leader, thinks that “Kirk Cousins is going to put the Vikings into the Super Bowl this year.” So does Fox Sports 1’s Jason McIntyre.
  • Danny Kanell declared that “when it’s all said and done Kirk Cousins will have the same impact on the Vikings as Drew Brees had on the Saints.”
  • ESPN baseball insider Buster Olney said on 975 the Fanatic in Philadelphia that he’d “bet the family farm” that Manny Machado or Bryce Harper signs with the Phillies next year.

That’s all for this week.

Fred Segal is an attorney from West Palm Beach, FL. He operates the popular Freezing Cold Takes twitter account (@OldTakesExposed) which highlights, among other things, hilarious unprophetic and inaccurate takes and predictions. 

You can follow Freezing Cold Takes on Facebook here, and Instagram here (username: freezingcoldtakes).

Fred also hosts a podcast, “Freezing Cold Take Spotlights with Fred Segal,” which you can find on iTunes.

Written by Fred Segal