Bill de Blasio’s New Vaccination Plan: Free Fries

Bill de Blasio is saving Americans with a deal too good to pass up: free Shake Shack fries with proof of vaccination. 

Bill de Blasio, an everyday gourmand like you and I, held a press briefing Thursday morning with a burger for breakfast in one hand and the key to New York City's fight against COVID in the other.

Joined by Shake Shack CEO Randy Garuitti, the mayor announced that vaccinated New Yorkers will now be able to receive a free side of fries (cheese fries not eligible) with their meal after showing their vaccine card. 

It may be the easy, logical thing to do in places like Los Angeles or New York where a vaccine card is like a backstage pass at a Zeppelin concert, full of incentives and drugs … or the drug itself as the incentive for most. But the mixed messaging on what the vaccine will allow Americans to enjoy once they are inoculated according to the CDC's standards has led to some hesitation, though not the rabid “anti-vaxxer” sentiment Democratic leaders assume of their citizens.

Vaccine supplies have exceeded demand in the past month after eligibility opened up across the nation. A large majority of Americans’ decision not to receive the shot is now not so much a reflection of accessibility as it is personal choice. 

If people are NOW thinking of getting the vaccine because of an offer that would save them $2.99, we can only hope such people are few and far between.

Shake Shack is fortunate enough to be approved by de Blasio, unlike Chipotle, which has been sued by the city due to “poor working conditions and low wages.” De Blasio joined a protest in Madison Square Park on Wednesday to boycott the chain amid a growing hiring crisis that is hurting restaurants everywhere.

Just like the murder rates in New York, your meal will see a 45% boost in flavor with some complimentary fries. Pro tip: ask for their secret sauce. It normally goes on the burger but tastes better as a dip. 

If you’re ordering your meal for pickup, vax card in hand, to avoid lengthy lines or a crime waiting to happen, don’t panic over sending them your ETA. They’ll know you're coming. 

So the next time you’re walking in New York City and spot a mound of crap on the sidewalk with a crinkle cut fry sticking out, you can smile knowing that your city is beating the virus, one tasty offer at a time.

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Alejandro Avila lives in Southern California and previously covered news for the LA Football Network. Jeopardy expert and grumpy sports fan. Known for having watched every movie and constant craving for dessert. @alejandroaveela (on X)