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Eva Longoria Is Back, Jags Kicker Gets The Myles Garrett Treatment & Army Dad Surprises Son Via Ref Uniform

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The messages were received loud and clear!

Well, let’s just say that the email inbox absolutely lit up Wednesday over three topics that you guys absolutely unloaded on:

• Stopping picking on umpires!

• We want to see Instagram ladies over 40 and 50!

• Baseball is rotting away, thanks to pitching changes!

I’ll have to consult with Beau in Toledo, but I have to believe the email inbox lighting up has something to do with the Hunter’s Moon that’s been rising in the sky the last couple of nights and putting on a show.

“The Hunter that harvests food, not snorts coke off a dead hooker’s ass, like a certain current world leader’s kid, but I digress,” Beau wrote on Tuesday about the moon that clearly has my inbox LIT UP. “Let’s Go Brandon! That moon is, on average, only 230k miles away from Earth. Many pickup trucks have that many miles on them,” Beau added.

Let’s start with the first topic: umpires.

Michael F. wasn’t having it with a Twitter video I posted and he came with a strong email:

From your column yesterday (October 19), you posted a video from the @UmpJob Twitter account of a guy calling a strike on a pitch obviously not a strike in what looks like probably a 9u or 10u baseball game. It’s kinda funny, but I’m going to take issue with you on this for a couple of reasons. Now, I’m a college football and college baseball umpire, and at those levels, I get it – we’re supposed to be some of the best at what we do and the accountability we have (both internally and externally) should reflect that.

However, as you’ve probably read from multiple sources, we have a grave shortage of officials at the youth and high school levels and the problem continues to worsen, not improve. Youth levels in all sports are an opportunity not only for the players to learn and improve their craft but an opportunity for officials to learn the game as well in a lower-stress environment. There’s a reason football officials starting out do not get the big Friday night varsity game right off the bat – they work countless youth games on Saturday afternoons so they can figure out what they’re doing first. Same with baseball, basketball, and other sports.

The problem is that the attempt to balance education with performance at the youth levels is a huge challenge – especially with the grief that these newer officials put up with from coaches and parents who may or may not know the game any better than the people on the field. This is causing many newer officials who are learning the craft to abandon it very quickly, as along with learning the rules and mechanics they also need to learn how to handle dealing with the people outside the lines as well (and it can be excruciatingly hard to do for new officials who don’t exactly know what to expect).

Officials generally don’t get paid all that well relative to the work we put in both on and off the field, and the possibility of going viral on Facebook or Twitter for all the wrong reasons just adds to the reasons why people don’t even want to get started in officiating. It can be even harder in youth baseball, where there’s no game clock (save for the occasional game with a time limit, but even that doesn’t solve all the problems) – strikes and outs are what move the game along. We only see one pitch in the clip you posted – but we don’t know about the 10, 15, or 20 pitches leading up to that. Granted, this isn’t the best pitch on which to grab a strike, but we don’t have any other context.

As I mentioned, those of us working the upper levels, we expect some level of this and can generally handle it and live with it. I’d just ask that you lay off the youth and high school officials. Thanks, and hope you have a great rest of your week.

###

OK, noted. Don’t be picking on the refs/umpires. There’s a shortage and you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.

That said, Michael, I want you to keep in mind that Screencaps prides itself on not looking at the world through a serious lens. When videos are posted showing umpires calling strikes five feet off the plate, I’d like for Screencaps readers to have a laugh, not climb a fence to fight the umpire.

I’d like to think that Screencaps readers are sophisticated enough to understand that we’re here to have a laugh and not take every second of every day in a literal sense. I’d like to think Screencaps readers, for the most part, are the parents who are kinda hoping their kid strikes out looking on a pitch five feet off the plate so they can get to the pool, lake house, etc. that much quicker.

Remember, Screencaps readers are here to make the world a little happier, a little more fun, a little more neighborly. And if I catch a Screencaps reader chewing an ump’s ass, I will ban them forever. That’s not the energy we’re looking for around here.

###

Moving along…let’s get down to business with the Instagram model requests that have poured in. It’s beyond clear that Screencaps readers come from an incredible age range. We have college guys, their dads, and their grandfathers reading Screencaps.

I don’t have the data in front of me, but this might be the only sports site in the United States that pulls three generations of readers. And that has caused some issues for the semi-old timers who’ve made it clear they would like to be introduced to Instagram models 40-plus, or at least 38 as one reader told me Wednesday.

I’ve been ordered to go out and find more Elizabeth Hurleys, which is a huge ask when there are very few 56-year-old women pumping out Instagram content. This is a numbers game.

But I’m a man of the people, and that means rising to a challenge for the readers. It’s my job. It’s why Clay pays me a salary. So I did the logical thing and asked my text group for suggestions on IG ladies who’ve reached the 40-plus milestone.

Today’s Screencaps is dedicated to all those semi-old timers who are worn out by the 23 to 39-year-olds they’ve had to deal with for so long. It’s time for the 40-plus ladies to shine.

Just remember this is a special tribute post. These ladies pump out like one new photo a month. Don’t get too comfortable.

###

Now, let’s quickly address the subject of Major League Baseball and how big of a disaster it has become.

• Evan A. sent me an email saying how it’s time for robot umps and I instantly broke out into a nervous sweat over how Michael F. would respond to that suggestion. This damn Hunter’s Moon could end up causing Screencaps readers to drop the gloves, and I don’t want that.

Evan writes:

Love the discussion on baseball, and there is no doubt a pace of play problem. I’ve been pondering this myself, and there is a very easy way to reduce game times by 18-36 minutes right off the bat. (Pun intended)

Remove 1-2 minutes of commercials per half inning. 

How simple is that? I know it will never happen because baseball (and all sports) are greedy as hell, but damn the length of the commercial breaks are ridiculous!

With regard to pace of play, here’s another crazy idea: Call the damn strike zone as stated in the rule book. Letters to knees. Get the batters swinging the damn bats! It will result in more balls in play, which will make the action quicker, outs happen quicker, and innings ending quicker. It’s not that hard!

Here’s a link to an article that talks about it:
https://t.co/v3krXsjqy3

One of the worst ideas in this article though was the idea that lowering the zone height, but WIDENING the zone two inches past the corners would be better! WIDENING? That’s not a f-ing strike! 

Finally, do all of the above, AND bring in the robot umps. No more human element. Call the zone as stated in the book. How many times have you seen a catcher set up outside/inside, only to have the pitcher miss his spot and throw it inside/outside so the catcher has to reach for it, BUT the pitch still goes over the plate yet is still called a ball?!? It’s still a strike by definition. Call it. 

• Jim D. writes:

One idea that I’ve never seen floated; relievers come directly from the bullpen into the game, without the long commercial break in between pitching changes. They should have had enough time to warm up in the pen. Do they really need to throw a few more from the mound?

This would also add a WWE element to the game, with someone entering the game and coming straight to the mound. Imagine the entrance John Rocker would have made? I’m guessing this would never fly, as this is a prime commercial spot and you always have to follow the dollar.

• Kyle D. wanted in on this subject:

I have been saying for years the pace of baseball is their biggest issue. That and shutting out the steroid era guys.

I have a simple solution for the pace of play. Pitchers should not get warm-up pitches on the mound. Warm up at the bullpen. Come in and start the game.

• Jon F. was out grabbing some food near my house Wednesday night and had his first experience with wing prices that are out of control and show no sign of slowing down.

You called it. Never thought I would see “market” for wings

• Kim B. wanted to get in on the subject of Hardie siding that was brought up Wednesday. Once again, I’m absolutely blown away by the reach of Screencaps. We have readers with expertise on just about everything.

Kim writes:

Yes, Hardie (and its competitors) is on allocation and not quoting large apartment jobs with their primed product.

In a few regions, they are offering their Color Plus prepainted product to apartment builders, but largely off the market on multifamily.

They are concentrating their resources on the single-family market for now.

Yes, lumber prices are way down, almost to normal levels, at the mill. May take a while for retailers to work down their high-dollar inventories.

We are experiencing a spike in prices right now. Labor shortages from loggers to mill workers to truckers.

• And we close it down today with Mike & Cindy T. on their big cross-country trip. Wednesday they were in Vermont enjoying a beautiful day inhaling fresh air. Mike has included me on the daily reports he sends out to his grown children. At this point, I’m pretty much an honorary member of the T family.

“The farms are so green, should be a great harvest for them next year,” Mike writes.

 

What an edition of Screencaps! I knew things would get crazy when the sun started going down before 7 EST, but I didn’t expect this type of energy. You guys have found the best damn daily column on the Internet.

Remember, this is your space. You’re the tour guides. I’m just driving the ship. Tell me what’s on your mind. Show me the world around you. Screw Good Morning America, The Today Show and all the other garbage out there in the morning.

This is where real Americans are coming in droves.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

10 Comments

Leave a Reply
  1. • Stopping picking on umpires!
    • We want to see Instagram ladies over 40 and 50!
    • Baseball is rotting away, thanks to pitching changes!

    Two out of three ain’t bad but, over 50? For all that’s good and holy please no.
    -The Silent Majority

  2. Re: IG “Women” …. you can’t mention Outkick favorite Elizabeth Hurley without including Salma Hayek.

    The dilemma in finding “sexy women over 40” is not a shortage of them but finding ones who have an on-line portfolio of accessible current / recent “bikini pics”. I might suggest bodybuilding legend Cory Everson (63) as a possibility. … and, of course, J-Lo (52).
    .

  3. (hands in face)
    The point of the females in this particular milieu is exotic and over-the-top; Maserati’s, Lambos and Ferraris.

    This is a lightly used Ford Taurus and Honda Accords.

    As least troll us, go all in with Betty White.

  4. All for the ladies over 40, but Eva the leftest idiot??? No.

    The video of the dad dressed up as a ref to surprise his son had me a little verklempt, but am I the only that noticed how much bigger than kid was than the rest of those tykes?

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