ESPN Calls Me a Transvestite Prostitute

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When you’re out here dominating every morning as head of the most rapidly growing national talk radio show in the country — and also have great manboobs — people tend to take notice. 

That was the case this morning when ESPN aired the below clip, asserting that I was a transvestite prostitute who had slept with Eddie Murphy. In so doing I believe I became the first member of the media to ever be accused of being a transvestite prostitute who had slept with Eddie Murphy in the history of ESPN.

Which is quite the honor. Here’s the clip:

Now some of you may think this is just a joking aside, but you’re wrong. This is actually huge news because being a man pretending to be a woman who is sleeping with a black man pretty much ensures me the ESPY for courage this year. After all, as ESPN has taught us again and again it is impossible to be more heroic and brave than a man wearing a dress and pretending to be a girl. Toss in banging a black dude and I’m the biggest shoe in for this award since Caitlyn Jenner became the Nelson Mandela of people who tuck their penis into their butt cracks. 

So while I have long asserted that I sit on the Iron Throne of Inclusiveness and am the King of Tolerance, this ESPY will go a long way towards burnishing those bona fides. 

Also, for the record, while I was initially okay with working as a prostitute I found out that being a male prostitute who pretends to be a woman pays much better than just being a female prostitute. And as long time readers, listeners, and viewers of Outkick well know, I’m not a businessman, I’m a business, man. And sometimes being a business, man requires being a woman, man.

Right now it’s important to remember, as Tim Tebow once memorably said, judge not lest ye be judged.  

But for all of you who are judging me right now, let me be perfectly clear, I expect tolerance, empathy and inclusion from all of you. Because these are the most important traits in the world today and as students of history well know without tolerance, empathy and inclusion how would we ever have beaten the Nazis in World War II?

Sincerely,

Your 2017 ESPY’s Winner For Bravery, Transvestite Prostitute, Clay Travis

Written by Clay Travis

Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021.

One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines.

Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide.

Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports.

Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.