Emma Gretzky Is Ready To Dominate Instagram, That’s Jason Varitek & Wisconsin Boy Dominates At the Mullet Championship

Gauntlet Fantasy Football update for those of you who didn’t read Tuesday Screencaps which is a shame because it was another great column

In Tuesday’s post, I went over the rules and regulations for the Gauntlet. I also volunteered to be a Gauntlet captain and that means I’ll be running my own league with Screencaps readers. That league filled up within seconds after Screencaps went live and now I have a pile of participants and (1) reader, Brent H., who is willing to be a Gauntlet Captain.

My next step is to start funneling Participants to Brent H. until he has a full 8-person (we’re inclusive around here) league and then it’ll be time for another captain to step up.

Because most of you are vice presidents and senior management on Linkedin, you get how this is going to go. If we don’t have enough Captains some of you will be left out of leagues.

Remember, being a Gauntlet Captain isn’t like managing a travel ball team. All you have to do is hold a draft and keep track of wins for yourself and seven other Participants. And at the end of the year maybe the league will buy you a beer.

Have back-to-school photos become annoying on social media?

My buddy Diesel, who has three grown children of his own, fired off this question to our text group: “Are you a bad parent if you have zero back-to-school photos?”

Here’s my ranking of annoying social media trends (rankings can change at any moment):

• Pumpkin patch photos

• “I did a thing”

• The wearing all-white family beach photos

“I was today years old”

• Monthly update calendar photos for babies

• Airport beer photos to prove you’re traveling…we get it, you travel

• Over-dramatic announcements that you’ve lost your job or are leaving a job to take a new job

• Everyone acting so professional on Linkedin when I know 3/4 of you are crushing beers and eating gummies on the weekends

As for the back-to-school photos, I like to counterbalance Pinterest moms and their dry eraser boards.

Hey dads, don’t be afraid to do your very own photoshoot with the kids and make it Screencaps-style. Create your own stash of signs with Amazon cardboard. Show up the Pinterest moms. Trust me, at first, your wife will think you’re a moron, but then her appreciation for your version of fun will grow by the year.

I have experience in this field.

Golf course music

• Scott B. writes:

For Greg J.  I played in a regular game of 3 foursomes.  The group was split on music or no music.  We started to pair groups based on if they were for or against music on the course.  I don’t care either way, but I appreciate the people that ask if music is ok and if so give me a couple of choices of types of music.  We have had guys that play dueling music.  In a competitive tournament situation if a player does not ask and plays something that is distracting, then I see no issue with having your own music in your cart to drown out what they are playing.

• Mark in Frisco, TX writes:

Joe,
 
Your “read the room” take is dead on, for items far beyond music on the golf course.  I just got off a 9 ½ hour flight, sitting next to 2 old people who had several very loud conversations while everyone around them were trying to sleep.  Travel anywhere, and you’ll see a thousand examples of people not reading the room.  I think you should have a Screencaps t-shirt that just says “Read the Room”.
 
Speaking of music on the golf course, we have a local course(public) that has Bluetooth speakers installed in the carts.  You connect based on the vehicle #.  My favorite bit is pull up next to my buddy’s cart, connect my phone to his cart, and start playing either show tunes or mariachi music, really loud.  I then question his manhood/taste for playing it.   Good times. 

Are two-a-days a thing in Ohio?

• Bill H. is at it again picking on me for where my ancestors chose to put down roots:

Maybe in OH, football teams don’t have two-a-day practices, but they sure do down here in the Southern FOC.

You need to get prepped for all this fall action with football, baseball and basketball seasons soon to be crossing over each other by producing two-a-day Screencaps this preseason.

Run through the finish line not to the finish line!

Going out on my deck to listen for a faint “F THAT!” coming in from the north.

Kinsey: Yes, Bill, they have two-a-days in Ohio. C’mon Bill, you’re talking about a state that is home to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Give us a little credit here.

As for this two–a-days Screencaps thing, that’s an absolutely preposterous idea that some senior management person would come up with based on the level of success this column has enjoyed.

Does Peter King produce more than one column a week? No.

Be satisfied you get this column six days a week.

Car insurance update

It’s been 10 days since the neighbor’s sister slammed into our car with her SUV and her adjuster still hasn’t called us. However, there was movement Tuesday. I was finally able to get my hands on the claim number after waiting for nine days. What’s going on with the car insurance business? Understaffed?

Are all the adjusters on Linkedin posting over-dramatic updates?

Garage door art

• Mike T. in Eagle, Idaho wanted the community to see some garage door art to get their Wednesday rolling:

Let’s get rolling. I have an interview to transcribe, a Zoom meeting to attend and who knows what I’ll get into from there.

Remember, we’re like nine days away from the start of the college football season. Get those chores done and get ready for the greatest time of the years.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com  

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Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

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