Emily Elizabeth Starts May Strong, Greg Hardy Takes Job At Walmart & Buy Mike Tyson's Punch-Out Shorts

Opening Day is here!

Guys, it's going to be a short Saturday Screencaps because I have to complete my defensive lineup cards for the 5th and 6th innings of today's game. I made it through four innings last night before I decided to call it a week.

Where's my head at? I'm pretty good this morning because the batting order is set and I think we have an offensive juggernaut. The pregame speech will go something like this: Have fun, play loose, please get the ball to the pitcher so the other team can't just keep running around the bases.

That's it.

On the mound, I'm starting an old veteran of the house ball league. It's like the Savannah Bananas sending Spaceman Bill Lee out there. My veteran pitcher is going to get it across the plate, but it's going to come in from all sorts of angles. Good luck to the opposing team.

We scrimmaged this team last week, but I didn't use the Opening Day starter so they couldn't get a good look at him. That's a managerial trick I've taken from some of the greats, my heroes -- Lou Pinella and Sparky Anderson.

On offense, the goal is simple: Get on, steal immediately (it's legal, but no leading off) and I need some of the big bats to do the rest. Then we'll get a lead, my Spaceman Lee will do his thing, I'll bring in my ace for 4,5, and 6 and the kids will head to the concession stand for a snack before I go home to work on my flagstone project.

BTW, thank god for the two-wheel dolly. I moved 3/4 ton of flagstones last night and I feel great this morning. The haters will say it's just the Opening Day adrenaline running through my veins & I'm going to pay the price tomorrow morning.

We'll see about that.

On umpires

• Tim T. writes:

Good morning, I would like to agree and disagree with his comments. 

Best Screencaps from the last year and a half?

• Michael B. says so:

Got to todays screen caps later than normal. Today’s copy my be the leader in the club house for best version since I’ve been reading the last year and a half. Really solid chirps to Mike from AB. Lessons learned Mike, hire screencaps to do your marketing Mike, read the room… those had me rolling. Like Chris Rock says… it’s funny because it’s true. Nice work!

PS… Chat GPT kinda sucks. Used it this week a couple times to get some ideas. You know what it sounds like? Those people on conference calls who just talk to talk. The ones trying to be the brightest crayons in the room. I don’t think we have anything to worry about just yet. Like Joe H mentioned, I asked it to plan a golf trip for me and a buddy who lives in Oxford MS. I asked it to find a place halfway between Oxford and Michigan…. It recommended TreeTops in Gaylord. Definitely not halfway, but AI is smart I’ve been told.

Keep it up bud! Great work!

Kinsey:

The Bud Light stuff is so easy to riff on.

On ChatGPT and AI, you're right, the algorithm is a moron right now. It might know how to compile a bunch of information but it's like the biggest asshole know-it-all in the room with zero personality. We're in huge trouble when It can bullshit like it's hanging out having garage beers.

Gas stoves

• Jake in Charlottesville, VA writes:

Now that the gas stove ban is official in New York, and coming to a state near you, have you heard from Judd the Liberal lately? I believe his stated position was that this whole thing was a baseless conspiracy theory.

Here’s a lesson for young Judd: maybe a little less confidence in your assertions, mate.

Mike T's son-in-law finished the patio while Mike T was in Mexico getting dental work

Good job!

Have a great weekend, Bud Light executives

This is not good for Team Anheuser-Busch.

Randy writes:

Love your work, love screencaps. Can you imagine if all the gays boycott bud now too? Boards rooms might actually function as normal again out of fear for stepping out of line.

Although, I suspect that if all the gays boycott bud it won't have near as drastic an impact as the 26% hit they have recently took.

• Jim M. writes:

Saw a bunch of your Bud Light info today on Screen Caps. In your summary of the point I brought up, as well as the others you wrote about, I was taken by the focus that "Mike" made of saying this was just one thing, not a campaign, blah, blah, blah.

One thing we all should realize is that this most certainly is not just one thing, etc. As private capital sources have become more important in a company's financial management schemes, supplanting banks in many cases, these private capital sources have been captured by pressure groups that promote the ESG scoring system. Soros Human Rights Campaign (HRC) being very prominent.

When InBev began doing some basic capital sourcing investigation they discovered that the ESG scores mattered, and Budweiser's scores were low enough to impact their access to private capital. So the pride cans began showing up, and other statements were made to shore up that score. The Mulvany can was just one more piece of this. Comments that this was done by a low level exec without upper management approval is complete bunk. This was done with the highest level of Management support, because of financial pressure brought by well financed pressure groups whose attitudes and beliefs do not reflect the populations and consumers these companies serve.

When your state begins to consider laws that prohibit ESG scoring for companies, you need to fully support your representatives trying to get that passed. This is not just one little thing. When the state Chamber of Commerce says eliminating ESG will hurt businesses, you need to tell them not eliminating ESG hurts you. This is an orchestrated maneuver to delegitimize what most Americans believe, and essentially remove you from society.

I get that this is pretty heavy thought for our little bit of sanity here at Screen Caps. But InBev USA must be made to pay for this. Keep on making Yuengling rich, And I think the price to end the boycott, to the extent that it every will ever be fully ended, because it won't be ended fully - this is going to leave a permanent mark - is the elimination by INBev of their financial support to the left wing pressure groups. They ask you for money, then extort you to behave in this manner. 

Ugly fight we have here, not sure how we keep this in front of us without damaging this brand. But I have faith in your expert management. Because these same groups are coming for the TNML, and they are deadly serious about that. Professional Karen's need to be destroyed. Let's start with INBev USA.


And that's it. Gotta run. Have lineups to set.

Have an amazing weekend. Crush beers and margaritas and laugh at those in your neighborhood who are mowing today.

Email: joekinsey@gmail.com

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Written by
Joe Kinsey is the Senior Director of Content of OutKick and the editor of the Morning Screencaps column that examines a variety of stories taking place in real America. Kinsey is also the founder of OutKick’s Thursday Night Mowing League, America’s largest virtual mowing league. Kinsey graduated from University of Toledo.