Emily Elizabeth Launches An Assault On Bikini Season, Rocket & Pudge Get Together, Plus A Vegas Strip Club Enters Bud Light Meme War
Odds & Ends on a Saturday morning
Happy Earth Day, everyone. Don't let anyone disaparage you today. I know exactly how much you care about the bees and other pollinators. Stay strong.
Let's dive right in:
• What's the going rate these days for the Tooth Fairy? For some reason, that was on my brain just before I woke up this morning. Actually it goes even deeper than that. I was wondering, in my sleep, how much Dana White's kids got from the tooth fairy. No, I didn't drop acid last night.
• After going many, many months without caring one bit about the NBA, last night I did some drive-by viewing just to get an idea of what's going on with the first round of the playoffs. I was treated to the Cavs launching 33 3-point shots and making seven (21%) on their way to 79 points. LOLOLOLOL.
• The Knicks also launched 33 3-pointers and made 10.
• Are there even any must-watch storylines in the NBA Playoffs? Based on what I see on Twitter, even the loyal viewers are having a hard time watching.
• I'll say this about the NBA Playoffs: There's just something so comforting about hearing Hubie Brown still working at 89 years old. The guy turns 90 in September. Good for him.
• I also dabbled in the NHL playoffs where if you want to see guys punching each other, you need to find the blowouts and watch the final five minutes in a series tied 1-1. You'll eventually find guys "trying to send a signal" and "set the tone" for Game 3, according to the broadcasters.
I'm told that the Islanders did quite a bit of "setting the tone in the series" after bullying the Canes late in Friday night's game.
• Thoughts and prayers to the wives and girlfriends out there who were having a glass of wine Friday night only to see Henrik Lundqvist pop up on the TV. Hope the ladies out there could sleep.
• It will be a travesty if the Las Vegas A's ballpark doesn't incorporate something I've been begging ballparks to implement for at least the last decade: Outfield casino seats. I'm on the record calling for the incorporation of blackjack tables, craps tables, slots, etc. right there on an outfield concourse. It's not like people are there to watch the baseball game anyway. Let them gamble right inside the place.
• I have a baseball lineup to create today. We have a scrimmage. I'm pretty sure I know the pitching rotation I'd like to deploy, but now I need to sit and look at the analytics on this 10U team to build the batting lineup. No, I don't have analytics, but this is 10U house ball and it sounds much cooler if I say I'm crunching the numbers.
• The waking up without an alarm on Saturday mornings is one of the best things I've done with my life since I started producing a Saturday edition of Screencaps. My happiness level on a Saturday morning is way higher than it was a month ago.
Epic week
• Chalk artist Jason R. in Far Nor Cal writes:
Sitting in the front yard with a cigar and an old fashioned enjoying the fruits of Thursday (enjoyable) labor reflecting. I’ve thought this before, but don’t know if I’ve mentioned it. Screencaps is exactly like a group text I’d like to respond to constantly.
I don’t have time for group texts throughout my work day. That’s a testament to you my man. You make it ’feel’ that way. Love seeing the cross section of America and abroad (thanks T’s!) Love the Crosby ND, Indy “do hard things” Daryl, Galen in TN, and my brother from another mother Beau in Toledo posts.
Having said that, I’d probably doth “b” slap Griff across his porcelain jowls and troll Phill with 2 L’s if I doth had my druthers. Enjoy youth baseball while you can. It’s fleeting to you, but forever for the kids. Cheers.
Lite beer
• Jake in Oregon writes:
Hey Joe, picked this baby up at a yard sale today, needs lots of work, new transformer, wiring, etc. But that keeps us boomers busy in our retirement. If I get it working will send a picture in the mancave. Wish it were a Busch, but at least it's not Bud.
Kinsey:
My brother, who is now a Miller-Coors brand rep in the Dayton, OH market, has started rehabbing neon beer signs for his bar and carryout customers. Let me know if you run into any problems. I'll get him on speed dial to help.
Netflix ends the red envelope program
• Charles J. in Hawaii writes:
Joe, I'm a long time Netflix DVD subscriber, and was saddened by their decision to shutdown shipping rented DVD's service.
With the high cost of theater movie prices, we preferred watching selected Blu-ray's at home on our surround home theater system, with our own snacks, in our underwear (TMI?). We were getting two Blu-ray's each weekend for like $15/month. Great deal. Plus the actual disc's usually had special features like blooper reels or background features, that streaming services don't provide.
Wish Netflix would reconsider, would even welcome a price increase, if it helps maintain the service.
• Bones writes:
Occasionally, an emailer just nails it with a quote that should be on a plaque. Joe M. reached those rarified heights today: "Having DVDs emailed to me means that I’m not the a-hole in the fire lane in front of the supermarket with his hazards on trying to rent a flick." What a fantastic image he gives all of us to remember the next time we see it!
Stuff like that is why I keep showing up. Congrats on a great opening day for the TNML. As a guy who lives on the beach and no longer mows, it actually makes me a bit jealous. I retired after 25 years of setting and keeping the standard on my street, which was always covered with lawn maintenance trucks. My goal, every time I "took the mound" was to beat the living hell out of those services. In my humble, grass-stained opinion, I mostly did it. I still miss the sounds, the smells, stopping to help the kids next door get a ball out of a tree, and, especially the cold Coors Light waiting for me after the job was done.
• Kirk P. writes:
Appreciate you posting my response on not having kids. Not sure about bolding the section on my procedure though :-). Also, who is Griff in MN calling old! Just kidding. Anyway, was reading the piece about Netflix and how it's often hard to figure out what platform has what movie, especially when they often jump from one to the next every 6-12 months.
I found a great (and free) app called "JustWatch" that I downloaded a couple years ago and it's a lifesaver. If I'm sitting on the patio having a couple (10) Jack on the rocks and think I want to watch the classic comedy "Airplane", I just do a search and it'll tell me what platform has it right away and then I know if I'm going to be able to watch it or not because while I have almost every platform out there (cut the cord a few years ago and YouTube TV is awesome IMO) I'm not signing up for a new one just to watch a movie because eventually it'll come back to one of the ones I have.
Anyway, figured I'd share that out with the group since Netflix is killing DVD delivery and hope it helps the community. I'm going to go pop some more painkillers and ice my ass :-)
• Andrew N. in Michigan writes:
I was reading through the responses to Netflix ending the DVD subscription service and I thought of an option for those that rely on it due to poor internet connections. Every library around us (very rural area) offers a wide selection of DVDs of both older and especially current tv shows and movies.
Also, if the local library doesn't have it you can usually get a DVD from another library via the library interloan service.
Best part about it? No rental or subscription fees. Your hard earned tax dollars already paid for it all.
Kinsey:
Here's what I have learned this week: The Netflix envelope thing was huge within the Screencaps community and the convenience of picking a movie, having it delivered and returned with ease is something that will be missed.
Between Bud Light and Netflix, it's been a crazy two weeks for corporate America and its connection to Real America.
Reds-Rockies futility series meet-up in June?
• Indy Daryl has an interesting proposal:
I know you said you won’t attend a game unless they are 10 or less back by June 1st, but was wondering if there was any interest/possibility in watching two of the worst teams in MLB go head to head? Rockies are in Cincy June 19-21.
Could be a SC/TNML meet up of sorts for anyone who was in the area and I would be happy to make the drive. Just a thought! Hope you have a great night.
Kinsey:
I have a very tight window that week, Indy D. I'm looking at a Mon-Wednesday 10U house ball schedule on those dates.
Fellow Daytonian transplant on grading and laying stripes
• Brad J. writes:
I am also from Dayton OH, but now living in Roswell GA. Been here 24 years in the same house we bought when we moved here in 1999. I love what you are doing with SC and try to read it every day. I’m retired, just turned 66 and mow, barefoot, every 3 days with a Tru-cut 27” reel mower most of the time. I like to keep it at fairway length. I have a Honda HRX 217 for anytime I need a rotary mower for sucking up debris. I have found that mowing every 3 days keeps me from having to catch it and the grass feeds itself with the smaller clippings. Sometimes 4 days is OK but any longer than 4 days and I would have to catch it.
Since we have been here so long, the trees have cast so much shade that the Bermuda was dying, so I am having Zeon Zoysia put down in hopes of have a shade tolerant yard. I rented my landscaper a Bobcat with a cultivator attachment that made short work of the old sod and any surface roots and with soil added gave a nice base.
I am attaching photos and a video of the project. The front will GE getting top dressed after having the equipment on it. So it will be perfect in about a month.
I’ll send the finished pictures and later the front after it grows back in from the top dressing.
Kinsey:
Mowing barefoot behind a reel mower at 66 sure sounds like living the life.
My PIB Invitational golf partner checks in
• Tim G. writes:
Had to travel last night and forgot to send in my TNML pic. Had a very nice 4.5” mow with the @ExMark mower. Just a beautiful night for the season opener!
• Rick N. in Canton, OH writes:
Good Friday to you Joe, may yours and all the TNMLers' well-earned weekends be glorious.
With my first message, I'd like to pledge allegiance to the TNML with every last drop of gasoline in my combustion engine mower. After I warmed up with spring training last week, the cable company tried to ruin opening day for me with a maze of utility flags and dug up ground all through the front yard under the claims of laying new, improved cables (couldn't get the picture uploaded or sent until today as the cable crew keeps knocking our internet out with their 'upgrades'). However, I'm pretty sure there's no crying in TNML so I played it as it lies to score an opening day win with the recently tuned-up Toro.
In response to Brian C.B. who asked about music of choice (I've been wondering that as well), my go-to is usually symphonic and orchestral metal if not old-school heavy metal itself. I've set my record time to Antti Martikainen's Sonic Savior (his Set Sail for the Golden Age is another regular mowing soundtrack for me) , fans of instrumental metal may be interested. Whatever your favorite tunes, rock on friends.
A suggestion should the League Commissioner be interested, I have to watch my sunlight exposure (family history of skin issues) so I go with a cap with a sun cape (similar hat style image included). Any chance of getting these made with the TNML logo patch? Would love to see those and sport the logo for neighborhood recruitment to the league.
Kinsey:
I wish we could put the TNML logo on a bunch of things and sell 1000s of items. I'm at the mercy of the marketing department and what they tell me about printing, shipping and how many units they have to sell to break even.
Toilet issue
• Adam D. in Manhattan, KS has an issue I know one of you can solve:
Thank you for allowing a space for us to ask questions! Hoping the SC community can help me out with this one.
My 12 year old son has had issues pooping with any real regularity since age 5. He goes about every two or three days at best. Because of this, the size of the poop clogs the toilet every time. We will plunge and get it unclogged just to have him clog it again.
My question for the community: Is there something we can put in the toilet before that will help keep the line open more regularly?
That's it this morning. It's time to build a lineup.
And make breakfast.
Have a great weekend. I'll see all of you Monday morning.
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com